Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links: May 25

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

From Slate: “Does Gay Marriage Destroy Marriage?”

From The Telegraph: “Why should I be ashamed of sugar daddy dating?”

Another WTF from the Daily Mail: “Women’s waists six inches bigger than the 50s ‘because they do less housework'”

From Jezebel: “Oh Great, ‘The Rules’ Is Back With a Whole New Bunch of Sexist Garbage”

From Marie Claire: “Should You Videotape Yourself Having Sex?” (Absolutely, says the article’s author)

From Forbes: “Wedding Day Confessions: Best Advice For The Bride and Groom”

From Slate: “Do Men Find Dumb-Looking Women More Attractive?”

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

28 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Trixy Minx May 25, 2012, 2:06 pm

    Dang none of mine are posted. Lame.

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  • avatar

    bethany May 25, 2012, 2:50 pm

    Re: wedding day confessions- #5 really bothered me. I understand that no one wants to sit through an hour long ceremony, but the ceremony is what makes the marraige! Why rush through that?! My ceremony was my favorite part of my wedding- Looking at him, saying those words, hearing him say them… I dunno… I liked it, and I know our family and friends liked it too.

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray May 25, 2012, 3:24 pm

      Come on… you know there were a few friends wondering how many more minutes until the open bar. 🙂

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray May 25, 2012, 4:07 pm

        I mean, for the record, I would have loved your long service. 🙂

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      • avatar

        Bethany May 25, 2012, 7:21 pm

        It wasn’t long! It was about 20 minutes. And the open bar was fantastic!

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats May 25, 2012, 8:54 pm

        If there’s an open bar for 3+ hours, they can sit through an hour honoring the couple’s union!

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl May 25, 2012, 4:00 pm

      I agree. I mean it doesn’t need to take an hour (in my opinion) but 10 minutes just isn’t enough! I went to a wedding last week and I think the ceremony lasted between 20 and 30 minutes but honestly it was such an awesome ceremony I have no idea how long we were in there. I would say it is more important to make the ceremony personal, funny, heartfelt and true to the couple then to keep it short.

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    • avatar

      SpaceySteph May 25, 2012, 3:38 pm

      I agree don’t rush… but at the same time remember that you invited these people to celebrate with you and don’t make them sit through a painfully long ceremony just so you can hear every single one of your favorite poems. I’ve been to a couple Catholic mass weddings and I think that is really the outside extent to which a ceremony should last. Pass the hour mark and you’ve gone too far.

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    • avatar

      Pamplemousse Rose May 25, 2012, 7:45 pm

      I’ve never been to a ceremony that was *that* long – the bigger problem is the reception speeches that drag on and on and on. My cousin got married last year and she talked for probably an hour about how every woman in her life is the most amazing woman ever… and then every bridesmaid got up to talk, and the groom and every groomsman. It never stopped…

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats May 25, 2012, 8:54 pm

        That sounds obnoxious. I mean, yes, speeches are very important. But is there really anything that can’t be said succinctly in 5 minutes or less?

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      • avatar

        Pamplemousse Rose May 26, 2012, 12:25 am

        The worst part was that they closed the bar/stopped serving wine during the speeches so we couldn’t even get another drink!

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      • avatar

        Bethany May 25, 2012, 9:22 pm

        My husband’s a wedding photographer, and he was at a wedding where the bride’s dad gave a 40 minute speech… A little much!

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark May 25, 2012, 3:03 pm

    The housework crack is hilarious. Women’s waistlines ARE six inches bigger because everybody eats like crap and lets themselves go, it seems. (Men’s waistlines are equally bloated and disgusting, I might add.) Seriously, it frightens me so when ever I leave LA at just how bad so many people in this nation look these days. So many people don’t take care of themselves, it’s like they’ve just given up. We’ve normalized being Fat and so now it’s the new normal… Brilliant plan that was.

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray May 25, 2012, 3:22 pm

      I was chubby in middle school. I could hide pencils in my belly rolls. “Look, ma!” I was so proud. … Now I have new party tricks so I don’t have to rely on that one.

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  • avatar

    Taylor May 25, 2012, 3:19 pm

    I like the Jezebel article and its “rules” =)
    1. Be a person with a life.
    2. Respect other people and their lives.
    3. Be patient.
    4. Don’t be desperate.

    They should make that a (tiny) book.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow May 25, 2012, 4:47 pm

      Did anyone actually follow “The Rules”? When did it first come out?

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    • avatar

      *HmC* May 25, 2012, 9:06 pm

      Wow I was going to post this exact same thing. The Game (which this article references) and The Rules and countless other dating advice crap books all just basically teach people how to pretend like they are the above 4 things in order to attract others. Sure, some of the tips may work sometimes, and short term. But, how exhausting to follow rules like that all the time.

      Work on just BEING the above 4 things. It’s less stressful, more honest, and better for your overall life- not just romantic relationships, like they exist in some vacuum and are the only thing that matters.

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  • avatar

    GatorGirl May 25, 2012, 4:05 pm

    I liked the advice in the Forbes wedding article #12 “For every hour you spend planning the wedding, spend another hour working on the relationship. So many people get caught up with the right dress, the perfect centerpiece, that they forget it’s only a party at the end of the day.” Absolutely true. The marraige is so so so much more important than the wedding.

    Also- it is so true that vendors price gouge weddings. I’m in the process of securing vendors for my own wedding and every single one asks if it is for a wedding. I’m going to start saying “no, its a large family reunion.” Thats not technically lying right?

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    • SweetsAndBeats

      SweetsAndBeats May 25, 2012, 8:59 pm

      If your reception is separate from your wedding site and you won’t be parading around in a big white dress, then sure, lie to the vendors. But if it’s obviously a wedding, they’ll get pissed.

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  • avatar

    SpaceySteph May 25, 2012, 3:30 pm

    Before I begin, let me say that I do wholeheartedly believe that gay couples should be allowed to marry and that it will absolutely not cause children to question their sexuality. After all, having gay marriage be illegal doesn’t exactly cause people to NOT question their sexuality.
    However, I think that the Slate article is crap and doesn’t really prove anything. If the contention by those opposing gay marriage is that it will affect the children, then 8 years is not nearly long enough to determine if that’s true.
    I think that they WILL be proven wrong, but in order to actually prove it they need to wait 25 years and see how the marriage stats for the children of Massachusetts who grew up with legal gay marriage compare to 2003.
    I guess bogus science just angers me. What you have proven, at most, is that the institution of marriage did not immediately go up in smoke the moment a pair of lesbians kissed on the courthouse steps. But you haven’t proven that it had no affect on the children, their sexual identity, or whether they will have different attitudes about marriage.

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  • avatar

    GatorGirl May 25, 2012, 9:07 pm

    The only vendor’s I’m considering telling this fib to is the tent and bathroom trailer rental people. It doesn’t seem like to me it should matter to them, but both have specifically asked if it was a wedding or a party.

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl May 25, 2012, 9:08 pm

      Grrr that was supposed to be a reply to SweetsandBeats!

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      • SweetsAndBeats

        SweetsAndBeats May 25, 2012, 9:16 pm

        Will any of the staff be there during any time where they can tell that it’s a wedding? If they see it, and you did not already sign a contract, they might be able to raise prices on you. If they find out afterward, I think it’ll bring you some bad juju. Most vendors do jack up the prices, but they also make ABSOLUTELY SURE to fulfill your EXACT requirements when they know it’s for a wedding because there’s a kind of universal industry standard that if it’s for a wedding, you better effin’ get it perfect. A family reunion can miss a port-a-potty or two, but they won’t let that happen for a wedding.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl May 25, 2012, 10:15 pm

        Yeah, I know what you mean. My family actually owns a restaurant and banquet hall so I have a hard time with that mind set. To us every single even should be perfect…not just the weddings we do. Of course we’ll read all contracts in detail.

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    • avatar

      Sunshine Brite May 26, 2012, 8:23 am

      Whoa… you’re going into a bathroom trailer in a presumably light colored dress? Braver woman than I.

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  • katie

    katie May 26, 2012, 3:48 pm

    I think the housework article is true. If data was available, I’m sure you could prove that men had lost muscle mass when we started working and not maintaining a family farm as work. Our lives in general, men and women, have become more lazy and much less physical. Partly because of items of convenience that have been invented to make jobs easier, ad then party because of the way jobs have changed.

    I actually just watched a show (yay having cable!) the United stats of America, and they said that Americans were the tallest country invthe developed world for a good chunk of time. It was because we had ample space to grow very nutrient rich food. As our diets and lifestyle changed, we have gone down to 9th, and shot up to number one in obesity. Also, the number one favorite vegetable in america is the French fry. Come on!

    I dont think that was a terribly sexist or offensive article. It’s true.

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    • JK

      JK May 26, 2012, 3:54 pm

      I feel the same way… I mean I know for example the iron I use is a hell of a lot lighter than those my grandmother used to use. It´s a lot easier to use an automatic washing machine than wash by hand, etc. etc.
      Maybe the way they stated it was a bit strange: it would have been less offensive if the article was called “Ways housework has changed in the last 60 years and it´s impact in our way of life” or something like that

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      • katie

        Katie May 26, 2012, 4:58 pm

        Yea I agree. It kind of insinuated that if women were doting housewives again we would all be skinny too… But, as a whole it is true what they are saying.

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