Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links, November 20

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

16 Ways I Blew My Marriage,” and its companion piece, “The Other 15 Ways I Blew My Marriage” [via Danoah]

“My Sweet Threesome” [via Salon]

“The New Sex Trend: Losing your V-Card in Your Twenties” [via Jezebel]

“The one common post-breakup tip you maybe should avoid” [via Huffington Post]

From earlier this year, but still interesting: “5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women” [via Cracked]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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9 comments… add one
  • Fabelle

    Fabelle November 30, 2012, 1:18 pm

    I have had several threesomes (& foursomes, I guess, technically), and although the relationship I’m in now is monogamous, I wouldn’t mind having the scenario described in the Salon article present itself to me.

    HOWEVER– articles about threesomes usually annoy me. Like… congratulations? You had a sexual experience & it didn’t go awry? I understand the larger theme of that article was…sex doesn’t need to be A Big Emotional Thing, but isn’t she romanticizing the hell out of it by writing about the experience in that way? “They looked nervous” “her beautiful eyes” “the four arms held me” etc. etc.

    I guess I’m just critiquing the tone.

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      GatorGirl November 30, 2012, 3:22 pm

      You know I’ve always thought articles about threesomes are strange. Like good for you, you had sex?

      I’ve never had one but we’ve talked about the possiblity of inviting someone into our currently monogomous bedroom. It just seems insane to me that she sent a FB message to a stranger and asked to hop in bed with them. I don’t have the balls to do that. But I wouldn’t want someone we know well in bed with us either. So yeah.

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    Guy Friday November 30, 2012, 3:11 pm

    I usually kind of ignore most of the “Friday links” (sorry, Wendy!), but the “16 Ways I Blew My Marriage” article just floored me. I was reading it — and the second half of it that came 2 weeks later — and I just found myself nodding my head along with it. I’m a bit ashamed at how many of those trends I’m slipping into. I’m definitely going to work on that home-cooked meal for my wife this weekend 🙂

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      bethany November 30, 2012, 3:16 pm

      Yeah, I really identified with those, too. I also found myself skimming over the ones that I personally have issues with (like being too sarcastic, or demanding that he tells me what he’s thinking about)… I guess because I know I need to work on those things, and don’t like being reminded about it.

      I saved a PDF of the whole list, and am going to try to read it and every few weeks…

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      kerrycontrary November 30, 2012, 3:35 pm

      Number 19 is my biggest pet peeve with people and relationships. I HATE when people put their significant other down/insult them repeatedly. It’s just so sad and frustrating to me. I mean your SO is supposed to be your biggest champion, not a backstabbing gossiper. Obviously I’m differentiating this from harmless venting (so and so doesn’t put away the dishes VS “she’s a controlling bitch and never wants me to have fun). Plus, whenever people do this is makes me weirdly insecure that maybe my boyfriend is talking about me like that (which he’s not).

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        kerrycontrary November 30, 2012, 3:37 pm

        Also, maybe this is because I’m not married (but I’ve been with the same person for 3 years so that’s sort of close..), but this guy and his wife treated each other horribly. I’m pretty sure that not all of this developed AFTER they got married. So why would you marry someone while putting up with that behavior. I don’t mean to be on a high-horse and say my relationship is perfect, but we certainly don’t treat each other like he discusses in the lists.

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        GatorGirl November 30, 2012, 3:50 pm

        I’m totally with you. I know I’m not perfect but I try my hardest to not speak ill of my fiance to anyone. Sometimes I vent to my mom but I try not to. It drives me nuts when people refer to their wives as “the old ball and chain” or bad talk their spouse to other people. Recently someone was talking to me about how the “whipped” their partner and that they could get them to do anything they wanted to matter what. It was so disgusting to me.

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  • the_optimist

    the_optimist November 30, 2012, 3:11 pm

    Those Dan Pearce posts are so, so true! And lovely.

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    AliceInDairyland November 30, 2012, 4:10 pm

    Yay! Shameless brag, I submitted the first link. The list about blowing your marriage. Someone put it up on facebook, and I clicked it thinking it was going to be some sort of Ha-ha list. And then it completely blew me away. I saw some of myself, and some of my SO, but luckily there were quite a few where I could see how both of us had made a conscious effort to avoid them. Anyways, I thought it was a really fantastic list. Just super raw and self-aware. I’m probably going to print it out and hang it up somewhere, and showing it to The Boy tonight to see what he thinks.

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