Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links: October 19

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

Rescued Elephant Runs to Mom: This video is a little long, so if you don’t feel like sitting through the whole thing skip to about 4:00. The way the baby elephant runs to its mom after being rescued from a well in Kenya is about one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen. If I were pregnant I’d probably being crying buckets. But I’m not, so of course I did not cry. Nope, I definitely didn’t shed a tear. [via Salon]

Love Lesson: “When you least expect it you can meet someone who is the love of your life. You just have to be open to it.” Such a sweet love story from the Chicago Tribune.

“When we all shaved our heads.” After a lice crisis hit our family, I learned how miserable those suckers are — and how strong my marriage is, from Salon

From The Daily Beast: “Just How Many Facebook Friends Do You Need?”

From Glamour: “Weight Stereotyping: The Secret Way People Are Judging You Based on Your Body”

From AdWeek: “Maxipad Brand Goes for Blood in Brilliant Reply to Facebook Rant”

From the Daily Mail: “Think you are ready to have children? Hilarious new parent test taking mommy blogs by storm MIGHT just put you off…”

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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62 comments… add one
  • avatar

    jlyfsh October 19, 2012, 1:21 pm

    i definitely did not cry while watching the elephant video either.

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    • JK

      JK October 19, 2012, 1:28 pm

      That has to be the sweetest thing ever. ANd it totally reminds me of when I get home from a couple of hours away, and my youngest comes running to greet me like that (and then goes straigh to suckle also haha). I love elephants.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh October 19, 2012, 1:41 pm

        elephants are amazing. it made me want to go home and hug everyone. my poor dogs usually suffer the brunt of jlyfsh is feeling emotional and needs to hug someone feelings. hopefully they’re feeling cuddly today!

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    • avatar

      shanshantastic October 19, 2012, 1:56 pm

      Nope, I didn’t either – and I didn’t specifically ignore Wendy’s warning about crying buckets to watch it anyway.

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      • Classic

        Classic October 19, 2012, 9:29 pm

        Me neither, I didn’t cry when watching the baby elephant return to its mother. Me too. Also.

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  • JK

    JK October 19, 2012, 1:21 pm

    I loved the parenting test. As they say, it´s funny because it´s true. 🙂

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl October 19, 2012, 1:45 pm

      It’s funny JK, because I had the exact opposite reaction to that article. I thought it was incredibly stupid. While I will admit I have not had children yet, I’ve spent a substantial amount of time with small children and my siblings are both almost a decade younger than I am. Never in my life have I experianced children who stick fish behind tvs, allow no programing to be played on tv for 5 years straight, stuck coins in car stereos, or acted like a goat in a grocery store. These kids being described in that article sound like heathens who have no structure or discipline (or frankly supervision). I know that children are unpredictable and I’m not trying to take away from that (or how hard of a round the clock job child rearing is) but I refuse to beleive that my child, or frankly the majority of children, act like that. Maybe it’s a satire peice and I’m reading too much into it, but I was so put off by the whole “test”.

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      • avatar

        MJ October 19, 2012, 1:54 pm

        Yeah, it’s pretty over-the-top. I know it’s satire, but it rubbed me the wrong way, too. I think because I’m tired of the “OMG Children RUIN your life” sentiment that seems to have infiltrated everything.

        I guess it’s just the pendulum swinging away from the 50s mom having to pretend everything was great while she popped pills in the other room. I mean, I’m glad people can be honest about the difficulties and challenges. But good grief, we get it. Kids suck, blah, blah.

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      • JK

        JK October 19, 2012, 2:14 pm

        I´ve never heard anyone say kids ruin your life. Sure they make it alot more complcated, but also (in my case) a lot more rewarding. And yes, it can be chaotic at times, but whose life isn´t?

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      • avatar

        MJ October 19, 2012, 2:21 pm

        JK, it’s not spelled out explicitly, but so many places, especially online seem to contain the sentiment that having kids is pretty awful.

        Seeing my friends and relatives parent makes me realize how tough it is, but I also see, like you said, how rewarding and just plain fun it can be, too. I just wish people would focus on more than the “well, babies make you fat and suck up your free time and you don’t sleep or watch your own TV for five years” which seems to be the prevailing sentiment at the moment.

        I want kids, and I want to enjoy them, so I’m just tired of it. That’s all.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh October 19, 2012, 1:57 pm

        i think that test shows the bad moments with kids more than the good moments yes. however, every child, even the most well behaved kid with as much structure as possible, has the potential to be that child who has a fit in the grocery store and embarrasses their parents or does other things. just like anything else you can say that you’re kid will never do those things, but. i’ve seen kids who are normally angels have a crying fit in a store before. and nothing, nothing works on them. a lot of my friends have kids in the ‘terrible two’ stage right now so i feel like i’m really seeing this stage for the first time, because i know what kinds of parents and kids these are and they are not the kind that tolerate that kind of behavior.

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      • JK

        JK October 19, 2012, 2:00 pm

        Um, I think it was a joke!!! I had substantial experience with kids (having worked with them for years). ANd as you may know I have 2 of my own, and nothing prepares you for being a parent.
        Of course my kids don´t act exactly like described in the test, but they´re no angels, as no kid is an angel.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl October 19, 2012, 2:19 pm

        I guess I’m just exhausted with the “kids ruin your life” bit. Of course kids have melt downs and bad moments and, once you’re a parent, they dominate your life for 18 or so years but there are so many wonderful moments too. One of my favorit bloggers does this “Clara Conversations” bit here and there and it just shows to me how fun/imaginative/hysterical children can be.

        http://life.younghouselove.com/2012/10/clara-conversations-6/

        I think Wendy does a great job balancing the bad and good with motherhood, which I wish more authors did.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 19, 2012, 2:36 pm

        I see it as realistic – in a satirical way, of course. Obviously people wouldn’t keep having kids if there weren’t moments of joy amidst the chaos.

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      • katie

        katie October 19, 2012, 2:41 pm

        Exactly- realistic. It is 100% realistic to say that you have to watch your kids all the time when there in a store, it’s realistic to know they will probably hide food, it’s realistic to understand you will watch mind numbingly boring kids shows for a long time, that you won’t get enough sleep, that you car will be ruined… Ect. This was just written in a funny way.

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary October 19, 2012, 3:01 pm

        I didn’t dislike the article, but I agree I’m tired with people who have children complaining about how much parenthood and children suck. Like it’s actually a rarity for me to experience someone gushing over their child, rather than saying something unnecessary like: I don’t know what it’s like to be tired and I better enjoy going to the movies now because I never will again when I have a child. It’s just really miserable to listen to.

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      • JK

        JK October 19, 2012, 3:05 pm

        But when we gush we get STFU parents, and people complaining about how dumb parents all are that we can only talk about our kids.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh October 19, 2012, 3:08 pm

        either way people are going to complain. i do find it funny that the people who are bothered by this article the most aren’t parents.

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      • JK

        JK October 19, 2012, 3:09 pm

        Yes!!! I was just thinking the same thing.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow October 19, 2012, 3:11 pm

        See? I don’t get any of that. All I ever hear is the gushing… ALL over my facebook. All the time.

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      • avatar

        Rachel October 19, 2012, 3:12 pm

        My friends with kids post stuff about how much they love their kids on fb all the time. Maybe you’re just friends with cranky people haha.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom October 19, 2012, 3:26 pm

        I don’t see it as a “kids ruin your life” bit. I just thought it was a funny look at how things happen when you live with kids. I don’t think any of us are saying that kids ruin your life but we know that they sure can do things rapidly that you have then have to deal with.

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      • avatar

        Rachel October 19, 2012, 2:12 pm

        Yeah, it was definitely satire.

        I think the point of it was just pointing out that parenthood comes with unexpected challenges. The goat thing wasn’t literal – but if you have kids with you while shopping you do have to keep an eye on them *all* the time so they don’t wander off or grab shit from the shelves or whatever.

        And I think AP admitted that when she was a kid she hid food all the time. So she totally would have put a fish behind the tv haha.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray October 19, 2012, 2:21 pm

        Taco Bell, ice cream, you name it – i’ve stashed a lot of food i was too full to eat but definitely wanted to eat later behind my dresser. i used to hide the food in the same place i hid my poopy underwear. maybe one of my less wise moves.

        i haven’t read the article – does it say kids that do that have psychological problems? busted!!

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      • JK

        JK October 19, 2012, 2:33 pm

        I hope not, my youngest does hide food (cookies, crackers) for later, nothing stinky as of yet though.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom October 19, 2012, 3:32 pm

        My daughter hides the empty wrappers because it is easier to dump them behind something or under something than to walk to the trash. I just cleaned out a stash of empty wrappers.

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      • JK

        JK October 19, 2012, 3:35 pm

        hahaha. I realized with my one year old becaue I´d see her appear eating something I hadn´t given her recently, then I started finding the stashes all over the house. Such fun!

        Both girls have been great hiders of other things though (especially keys and remote controls)

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl October 19, 2012, 3:39 pm

        Like, I can get a kid doing something like hiding cookies or wrappers until they get caught but after being caught and disciplined I just don’t get it… Once my mother told me not to do something I didn’t do it again, same for my siblings. She wasn’t mean and didn’t even spank, but a firm NO from mom was enough to have me (and my siblings) not disobey again.

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      • JK

        JK October 19, 2012, 3:43 pm

        That all depends on the age and the temperament of the kids. My eldest was a really well behaved toddler, my 1 year old is terrible (and yes I do discipline her). She´s stubborn as hell, and things turn into a battle of wills. You can´t expect a 1year old to stop doing somehting just by saying no (or sitting er in the corner)

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      • JK

        JK October 19, 2012, 3:47 pm

        My eldest now has started arguning with everything (she´ll be 5 in december), no matter how well we disciplined her before (and continue to). Kids are like that. They go through stages. You can´t expect them to obey everything. Especially not after one time telling them no. They test limits, and push you to see just how far they can get.

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      • katie

        katie October 19, 2012, 3:49 pm

        just sayin, a firm NO once doesnt even work with most dogs…

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl October 19, 2012, 3:59 pm

        I worked for me and my siblings (who, like I said are a decade younger than I am so I watched them grow up). My mother would count down from 3 when we were doing something we weren’t supposed to. I think she reached 1 once ever. Apparently my parents produce mutant children.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom October 19, 2012, 4:04 pm

        She probably had to do things more than once.

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      • avatar

        Rachel October 19, 2012, 4:05 pm

        I don’t doubt that you were that well behaved, and sure some kids are. I *hated* getting in trouble when I was a kid. But that is not the majority of kids for sure.

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      • katie

        katie October 19, 2012, 4:06 pm

        i mean, if you were all really good kids, thats a good thing. and its not a bad thing to have hopes and expectations that your own kids will be too, but just, you know, throw a little realism into the mix, you know? its not all sunshine and rainbows.

        also, i wonder what your mother would say. think about it from her perspective- she might have never had to get to 1, but how many times a day did she have to do that? what other tactics did she exhaust before she figured out you responded to “the countdown”, ect? it might not be as peachy as you remember it from being the child..

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      • avatar

        Caris October 19, 2012, 6:12 pm

        or cats

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom October 19, 2012, 4:16 pm

        I clean out my daughter’s thing when she isn’t around so that she doesn’t see the things that I’m throwing away so when I find wrappers that way I don’t mention them. Otherwise she would have hysterics about the old things I’m tossing which she hasn’t touched in years. So if I see her stashing a wrapper I call her on it and make her throw it away but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t keep stashing them when I’m not looking and I don’t want her to realize how often I do a clean out of things that are totally unused.

        She started leaving her dirty clothes laying around the bathroom and I would make her take them to the laundry room but she just kept doing it so I then started making her do the dishes for an entire day plus take the dirty clothes to the laundry room and after repeating that about four times she has gotten very good about putting her dirty clothes where they belong. Just telling her it was unacceptable didn’t work and making her take them away didn’t work but adding an extra task did work. It’s usually finding the right lever and every child is different so what worked with my son doesn’t necessarily work with my daughter.

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      • JK

        JK October 19, 2012, 4:19 pm

        How old are your kids?
        I totally have to do the throw things away when they´re not around with my eldest, at least. She remembers EVERYTHING she has, who gave it to her, etc. ANd she always manages to ask for the very thing I´ve gotten rid of soon after (even if for months before she had never used it)

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom October 19, 2012, 5:11 pm

        My daughter is 12 and my son is 21. We have two “only children.” When she had to do the dishes on Saturday my son laughed. I think when he was that age he sometimes felt she got away with things but she was just too young to have the same type of consequences he had and now he enjoys it when he sees her get caught and called on things.

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      • theattack

        theattack October 19, 2012, 3:45 pm

        My mom used to keep back-up tubs of icing in the cabinet that she never really used, so I found one, opened it, and shoved it to the back. Then I would occasionally get little bowls from the kitchen, fill them with icing, and stash them in my room for a few days. My mom eventually found the mysterious missing bowls behind my tv though, and I was busted.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow October 19, 2012, 1:59 pm

      I, for one, thought it was hilarious.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh October 19, 2012, 2:02 pm

        i did too, i always pass things like this on to my mom friends. have you read the honest toddler blog before. i’m sure a lot of people are put off by that too, but whenever i read it i end up crying from laughing so hard!

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    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom October 19, 2012, 2:12 pm

      I just read it and I was laughing all the way through!!!

      We all have stories, maybe not these ones but they happen to all of us and it is hilarious.

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  • SarahKat

    SarahKat October 19, 2012, 1:21 pm

    I got lice in high school HIGH SCHOOL when my little sister’s friend used one of our brushes. It took months and months to get rid off, and we finally had to order some black market swedish lice extermator that made your hair a dead zone. You had to put on this oil gunk all over your scalp EVERY NIGHT for 14 days, wear a shower cap to keep your bed from getting ruined (a plastic sheet as well) and the stuff took washing your hair at least five times to get out. Which it never really did. If I ever got lice again, I would shave my head in a second.

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh October 19, 2012, 1:24 pm

      i have thick naturally curly and i got lice when i was in high school too from a little kid that came over to play with the kids i baby sat. i’ll never forgive that kid. my mom broke about 10 million of those little lice brushes in my hair. i did have to cut my hair short, and we used this stuff from the doctor. i don’t remember what it was but it was like the stuff you get at the store times 1000. so gross!

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    • JK

      JK October 19, 2012, 1:30 pm

      If there´sa louse going around I´ll get it. My last infestation was less than 2 years ago, and I was prengnat at the time, so no chemical products allowed! VInegar is amazing though, it got rid of them quickly.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom October 19, 2012, 2:22 pm

        My daughter very recently had headlice. First time ever so I spent some time researching on the internet and came up with a remedy that works.

        We combed through her hair with a lice comb that I dipped in vinegar before every single stroke through the hair until her hair was dripping with vinegar. That loosens and removes all the nits (eggs.)

        Then coated the hair with baby oil and let it sit for two hours. This kills any hatched lice that you missed with the comb. It suffocates them. Any oil will do. I came across this when researching the different pesticide treatments used on headlice. I found that many lice are becoming pesticide resistant and that the treatment of choice for resistant lice is olive oil. So I decided to skip the pesticides and go straight for the oil. The amount of time the pesticide stays on the head is based on allowed pesticide exposure rather than the amount of time needed to kill the lice. Also, the pesticide treatment doesn’t kill the eggs, only the already hatched lice, so the eggs keep hatching and the lice keep living on your head and you arent supposed to just keep treating yourself over and over with the pesticides. It was all pretty icky to read about so I was glad to find a treatment that worked completely, with no eggs left to hatch on the head.

        Then shampoo about four to five times to remove all the oil from the hair. One treatment this way gets everything and you don’t have to have the pesticide exposure.

        While doing the vinegar and oil treatments wash all bedding and jackets.

        My daughter’s friend just had headlice last week and the same treatment worked for her. One round of vinegar and oil killed everything and although they keep watching for any that might have been missed they have found nothing.

        Now if they would just quit going around the school.

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      • theattack

        theattack October 19, 2012, 3:27 pm

        I love that you posted such a detailed treatment! I feel like I should print it out for future reference.

        I’d also like to add that in addition to washing bedding and jackets, the person with lice should not be sitting on couches and things unless there’s a garbage bag between them and the furniture. When I had lice as a kid there was one seat in the house I was allowed to sit on, and it was covered with plastic so it wouldn’t spread to other people. Wooden furniture, like rocking chairs, are even better if you have them because they can’t get into the upholstery.

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      • SarahKat

        SarahKat October 19, 2012, 3:58 pm

        That’s why I always keep my head off of a movie theater seat.

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      • JK

        JK October 19, 2012, 3:31 pm

        This is great. I´ve also heard that stuff that can´t be washed should be sealed in an airtight plastic bag for a week (I think), to kill the lice on it.
        And I always prefer natural remedies where possible(but yeah, lice are definitely resistant to the pesticides now!)

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom October 19, 2012, 3:35 pm

        We also soaked all our brushes and combs in rubbing alcohol for a week. We kept them in a plastic container with a lid and pulled them out to use them and dumped them straight back in the moment we were done.

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    • katie

      katie October 19, 2012, 3:12 pm

      ha funny story about lice.

      so when i was young, after my mom divorced my dad, like around age 12, i kind of just fended for myself. i had to figure out how to shave myself, i had to figure out my period by myself, ect… so this one time i thought i had lice. i have no idea why, i dont even remember, but i read about the olive oil treatment, so i did it, but i did it terribly… and i ended up having to get a special treatment at a salon when i went to visit my mom to get all the oil out. lol.

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  • avatar

    lemongrass October 19, 2012, 1:28 pm

    I got lice 5 or 6 times as a kid…. each time from my sister.

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  • avatar

    Addie Pray October 19, 2012, 2:01 pm

    Well, I guess we now know I must be pregnant! Fuck.

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  • the_optimist

    the_optimist October 19, 2012, 1:39 pm

    The elephant video…omg… as if I weren’t obsessed enough already…

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  • avatar

    EB October 19, 2012, 3:11 pm

    Ok the weight stereotyping article rubbed me the wrong way…

    I’m sorry but the idea that the stereotyping thin people receive is anywhere in the same ballpark of what overweight people endure is frankly absurd and I find it insulting to all women of size that this article presented these two experiences as at all comparable.

    Unless a woman is majorly underweight and is wanting but unable to gain weight, I find thin women bitching about how difficult it is to be stereotyped by their weight almost as annoying as white people whining about reverse racism .

    As an attractive, tall, size 0 woman, I found the trials and tribulations that thin women “suffered” in the article to be ridiculous. While I have regularly received feedback that people expected me to be much less friendly or that I came across as intimidating before getting to know me and yes, girlfriends, salesgirls, drunken women in bars, etc. frequently confide in me that they envy my body, I have never struggled to make female friends. While, I am sure there are a few females who might not want to be my friend because of their own insecurities, I think there are even more who try and befriend me because of how I look. Whenever, a beautiful woman bemoans her lack of female friends and blames it on other woman being too jealous of her, I call bullshit. Sorry ladies, it’s not your weight/looks that’s the problem it’s your personality.

    Aside from the occasional bulimia inquiry(I have a high metabolism and basically eat whatever I want), I find being thin to pretty much a walk in the park and the privileges (at least for me) of possessing a body type that society deems ideal FAR outweigh any negatives.

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl October 19, 2012, 3:54 pm

      I’ve gotten a lot of negative comments about my weight (I’m 5’2″ and 100 pounds). Friends and family are always commenting about how they “feel like they are going to break me” when they give me a hug and offering me food or asking if I’ve eaten recently and making snarky comments about how they wish they looked like me. It gets really freaking old. I’m also naturally a very shy/quiet person; so that coupled with a size zero waste line and I’ve gotten my share of “you bitch” looks everywhere from work to bars to sporting events. I’m not trying to say that there isn’t a bigger public bias towards obese people, but it’s not always a walk in the park to be on the other side of the spectrum.

      Also, it is a bitch finding clothes for my frame. Seriously. Who do clothes manufacturers make things for? My friends who wear larger sizes can never find clothes either!

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom October 19, 2012, 4:08 pm

        I’m 5’3″ and 100 pounds and I haven’t had trouble with the bitchy stuff but I definitely have trouble finding clothes. I feel that the only people my size are fourteen-year-old girls and 80-year-old women who have osteoporosis. I don’t want to dress like either group so it leaves me with not much to wear. I end up ordering all my clothes online because there are no stores around here that carry my size. My husband loves shopping with me because I don’t shop for much of anything except online.

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      • katie

        katie October 19, 2012, 4:11 pm

        oh i will join the “finding clothes sucks” club.

        i have a really weird shape.. i can wear like size 2 dresses, if its fitted around my waist, but i wear like size 7/9 pants. so i have a huge butt, huge hips, and a tiny waist. no clothes fit me ever. i hate wear clothes and dressing up, and i think its largely because of this (also because of the christian school i went to, but thats another story)… maybe if clothes fit me i would enjoy shopping for them and wearing them!!!

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      • JK

        JK October 19, 2012, 4:16 pm

        I can never find clothes either. I´m tall for where I live, and skinny, but have big bones. But no bust or butt. SO clothes that fit around my hips looks terrible on my butt and legs (and are usually too short anyway).

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      • Copa

        Copa October 21, 2012, 6:47 pm

        I’ve gained a bit of weight over the past few years that I’m currently in the process of losing, but I’ve spent most of my life being about your height/weight. (About half an inch taller and a few pounds heavier.) I totally “get” how annoying those comments can be. I absolutely HATED any/all “eat something why don’t ya!” comments because they seemed to presume that I was starving myself or something. My best friend’s mom used to constantly tell me I was TOO thin. I never starved myself, nor did I appreciate being told I was too small when it wasn’t something I, at the time, felt I had much control over. I also haaated comments about how I look like/am built like a child. I also once got snubbed by a saleswoman after being told that I was too small to fit in any of the sizes where we were. Even now, as I am trying to lose the weight I gained, I get comments about how I’m “so crazy” because my “fat” size is a 4/6. I agree that the bias towards obese people is much greater, but yeah — being petite and having small frame also gets me my fair share of unwarranted, unwanted, and unnecessary comments.

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  • avatar

    *HmC* October 19, 2012, 3:22 pm

    Omg elephants are my favorite! Did you know that they mourn their dead?

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