Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links: October 5

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

From CBC News: “Overweight TV anchor rebuffs ‘bully’ on air”

From Gawker: Trouble Getting Pregnant? “Don’t Think of Elephants”

From Thought Catalog: “The Second Time You Fall In Love With Someone”

From HuffPo: “Do Cold Feet Warn of Marital Trouble Ahead?”

From HuffPo: “The Mom Stays in the Picture”

From Gawker: Crazy ass email from a Bridezilla to her bridesmaids.

From Slate: Lena Dunham, creator of “Girls” is pitching an advice book for a million bucks.

From MichelleDresbold.com: Top 5 Relationship Warning Signs in Handwriting

From Slate: “Feminism used to be deadly earnest. Today it’s funny, sarcastic, and ironic. What happened?”

From io9: “Here are the fifteen professions that drink the most coffee. Guess who’s number one.”

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

You can follow me on Facebook here and Twitter here.

68 comments… add one
  • avatar

    iseeshiny October 5, 2012, 1:21 pm

    Unmentioned in the handwriting article: if there is a stroke hidden somewhere in the writing that looks like an infant, that means that the person likes to eat babies – while analyzing their handwriting in your pre-date test, if you happen to see this – run! Unless you enjoy eating babies, in which case you may have found Mr. Write. Cue wedding bells.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow October 5, 2012, 7:29 pm

      Thumbs up for “Mr. Write.”

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  • avatar

    Addie Pray October 5, 2012, 1:25 pm

    I saw that video earlier this week posted on a few friends’ FB pages. It is awesome! The guy who criticized the newsanchor for being overweight is the douchiest asshole ever. You know there are a million people like him who make a million others feel SO BAD – that makes me sad.

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  • avatar

    kerrycontrary October 5, 2012, 1:29 pm

    I love “The 2nd time you fall in love”.

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    • avatar

      Taylor October 5, 2012, 1:47 pm

      Me too! I wish I’d read it a decade ago. I say that about a lot of pieces I read here.

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    • avatar

      Rachel October 5, 2012, 1:50 pm

      Loved it. So true!

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    • TaraMonster

      TaraMonster October 5, 2012, 5:32 pm

      It probably goes without saying that I should not have read that particular post in my current state of newly-single-from-second-love.

      Because I just kept thinking “What happens with your third love?! Third love is better, right?! Is it normal to fall in love three times? WILL I EVER FIND A THIRD LOVE? DOES THIRD LOVE EVEN HAPPEN? I’M GOING TO DIE ALONE!”

      As you can see, I begin to think in all caps when distressed.

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      • avatar

        Taylor October 5, 2012, 10:09 pm

        I just married my third love 🙂 Third time’s a charm! Also, your caps were reminding me of AP’s love rants.

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    • Copa

      Copa October 6, 2012, 3:26 pm

      That one made me a little teary-eyed because I got dumped in a not-so-nice manner (s’ok, it was downright a pathetic way to end a serious relationship) and still catch myself thinking I’m OBVIOUSLY going to die alone because OBVIOUSLY nobody will ever love me again, and if they do, I’ll somehow manage to mess it up, and on, and on, and on.

      Sigh. I miss being in love.

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  • SarahKat

    SarahKat October 5, 2012, 1:36 pm

    &@%! I have the felon claw! I don’t want to die in prison!

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  • avatar

    Taylor October 5, 2012, 1:48 pm

    The Gawker piece was well done.

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    • avatar

      Taylor October 5, 2012, 1:56 pm

      By that, I mean the first gawker piece, the one on infertility. The second one, well, that girl is something. Narcissistic. A copper nano-tube :). I would have said no based solely on her issues with apostrophes and subject-verb agreement.

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      • Lady_Red

        Red_Lady October 5, 2012, 9:00 pm

        And her spelling was so off! Bridesmaids don’t have big “rolls” in the wedding, unless they’re having bread instead of cake? And the bridal party is special, so they get huge rolls, while everyone else just gets standard dinner rolls?
        And she’s having a “bridal show”? Like a runway show to show off the dresses?
        The content of her letter was stupid, and the delivery was awful. Just no redeeming qualities anywhere.

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  • avatar

    Rachel October 5, 2012, 1:48 pm

    Yay for scientists! Seriously, I would take an iv drip if it were offered to me.

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh October 5, 2012, 1:50 pm

      haha, i agree. i had to move to green tea in the past few years, because the coffee was causing some serious stomach issues for me. i’m pretty sure some people i work with would take the iv along with you!

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      • MaterialsGirl

        MaterialsGirl October 5, 2012, 2:16 pm

        I had to move on to tea because I ruined, and i mean RUINED my stomach on coffee in college. So bad that i would cramp up and not be able to uncurl from a ball because it hurt so bad. Hence, no more regular coffee drinking for me. It’s a shame, but at least I can have some on the weekends.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh October 5, 2012, 2:21 pm

        yeah i had similar issues, my stomach would hurt so bad i was sure i had done something awful to it. i have to mix a lot of soy milk in mine to stomach it, but i still do love a coffee on the weekend too!

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh October 5, 2012, 3:35 pm

      i’ll also say i found the write up about scientists in general to be pretty spot on. emailing an over achiever today has made me feel like a less than stellar worker, oh well leaving work at work today and i’m not sorry. i’d rather spend my weekend at the beach then looking over data!

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      • avatar

        Rachel October 5, 2012, 4:17 pm

        Yeah, I always feel like a bad scientist when I want to spend time not thinking about work. There’s gotta be *some* balance though.

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      • avatar

        Taylor October 5, 2012, 4:18 pm

        You can always look at data at the beach 🙂 My sister used to mock me shamelessly for that.

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  • SarahKat

    SarahKat October 5, 2012, 2:19 pm

    The Bridezilla letter was beautiful. How can a person have 10 bridesmaids??? If someone told me I would have to get ten bridesmaids I would probably have to start bribing people on the street. And even they would have to find like 6 more people.

    Also, THEY HAVE TO PAY FOR THEIR OWN PLANE TICKETS????? WHHHHAAAT?? Is this common? That is just so awful! They would have to pay thousands of dollars for this one wedding!

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    • avatar

      Taylor October 5, 2012, 2:36 pm

      I’ve paid for my plane tickets to every wedding/shower/bach. party I’ve been involved in (as well as the dress, shoes etc), and my bridesmaids paid for theirs. Ultimately, it worked out =) If one can’t afford it, you usually say no, or skip the non-essential stuff (showers, parties). It’s nice to have everyone there, but having a geographically challenging life provides some constraints. I actually flew out of state for my bridal shower because it made way more sense for me to fly west that to have everyone else come to me.

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      • SarahKat

        SarahKat October 5, 2012, 3:00 pm

        Yeah, I mean, if you live far away from your bridal party then it makes sense that there’s going to be some travel involved. I think though her intentionally making the wedding in Vail and the engagement party in NY and the Bachelorette in Vegas is over the line in regards to the expectation of what she wants her bridesmaids to contribute.

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      • avatar

        ktfran October 5, 2012, 3:13 pm

        Exactly. And to say if you can’t make one of many events or you’re out. That’s a little harsh. Especially since they are all over the U.S. Is it that big of a deal for a bridesmaid not to show up to the shower? Or engagement party?

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      • SarahKat

        SarahKat October 5, 2012, 3:22 pm

        Right?! Its a wedding, not the amazing race!

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      • avatar

        Taylor October 5, 2012, 4:19 pm

        Aah, gotcha. Agreed!

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl October 5, 2012, 2:56 pm

      I’ve only been a bridesmaid once- but nothing was paid for. Not the shoes, dress, hair/make up, hotel. That wedding cost me over $1500 (and I lived with in 30 minutes!)

      I’m not having bridesmaids for my spring wedding. And yes, 10 is ridiculous.

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      • SarahKat

        SarahKat October 5, 2012, 3:36 pm

        WHAAAAAAAA? $1500?? For a LOCAL wedding??? You could buy a show pony for that!

        Ug, I forgot about all the hotel bills. Vail is not a cheap f*ckin place, and New York and Vegas can be really pricey too. I imagine there’s probably a ton of pressure from this kind of bride to stay in the same hotel she and moneybags are staying at, so its not like you could go budget there either.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl October 5, 2012, 4:11 pm

        Lets see

        Dress and alterations $350 +
        Accessories $100
        Hair and make up $120
        Gifts $250 (between shower, bachelorette, and wedding)
        Hotel $125
        Bachelorette Party $250
        Shower $150 (bridesmaids hosted)

        Thats $1,345 not including random costs like post wedding drinks and my fiance’s suit (he was not in the wedding but we got him a new suit for that wedding).

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      • Lady_Red

        Red_Lady October 5, 2012, 9:14 pm

        Yikes! Sounds like a pretty pricey wedding.

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      • avatar

        SpaceySteph October 8, 2012, 4:57 pm

        A lot of that sounds standard, unfortunately. I am paying hair for my bridesmaids and we are doing our own makeup, but this is rare- I’m in a wedding the month before mine and have to pay for hair and makeup.
        And I have already told my bridesmaids that they should not get me presents, being there is a present. I imagine some of them won’t listen, but they should. And if not they should spend like max $30, not $250!

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      • avatar

        Rachel October 5, 2012, 3:37 pm

        I saw pictures of a wedding in which a friend was one of 10 bridesmaids. I just don’t get it. You really have 10 closest friends?

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      • Lady_Red

        Red_Lady October 5, 2012, 9:17 pm

        And how hard would that be to get everyone together? I had a hard enough time w/ 5, and I thought that was a lot.
        My wedding photographer posted a pic on facebook of another wedding she did shortly after mine, and there were 12 (!!!) bridesmaids and 12 groomsmen. They looked really young, though, so maybe it’s easier to get people together when you’re in your early 20s?

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      • avatar

        Taylor October 5, 2012, 10:12 pm

        Usually more like 5 close friends, 2 whose feelings would be hurt if they weren’t included, and 3 for political (i.e. family) reasons!

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      • avatar

        SpaceySteph October 8, 2012, 4:58 pm

        So true. I have 5 bridesmaids: my sister, his sister, and 3 friends. Honestly if we were only children I would have just had no wedding party.

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  • avatar

    bethany October 5, 2012, 2:19 pm

    Holy Bridezilla!!

    At least she’s giving those girls an easy way out of being in her wedding by letting them know she’s crazy before they actually commit to it!

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    • avatar

      Violet October 5, 2012, 3:37 pm

      I laughed so hard at this letter, and then silently thanked the heavens I don’t know anyone this shitty. 🙂

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  • avatar

    ktfran October 5, 2012, 2:23 pm

    Did it bother anyone else that Miss Bridezilla’s e-mail to her bridesmaids was poorly written and had lots of mistakes? If you’re going to be a total bitch, at least have good grammar.

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    • avatar

      Taylor October 5, 2012, 2:36 pm

      YES!!! So much.

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle October 5, 2012, 2:44 pm

      Oh, god. There’s so many horrible ones, but the worst is her repetitve “your” instead “you’re” mistake. ARGH

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle October 5, 2012, 2:47 pm

        Oh, also– her capitilization of “myself.” Like, just in case you can’t tell from the letter how big this woman’s ego is.

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray October 5, 2012, 3:34 pm

      “Your” so right!

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      • avatar

        ktfran October 5, 2012, 3:39 pm

        Oh AP, stop drinking at work. Or at home. Or at the dive bar down the street.

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    • avatar

      Amanda October 5, 2012, 4:47 pm

      My favorite was “you have a very important roll in the wedding.” 😉

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster October 5, 2012, 5:21 pm

        Me too!!!!

        And I’m an editor. You cannot imagine how much I twitched while reading that email! I think I now have a permanent tick.

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  • the_optimist

    the_optimist October 5, 2012, 1:36 pm

    Did you guys know that news anchor is Ron Livingston’s sister? I love him! But aside from that tidbit, I applaud this woman like crazy. She owned that guy and hopefully really humbled the jerk who wrote to her in the first place. That takes serious bravery.

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray October 5, 2012, 2:04 pm

      i did NOT know that. cool.

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    • avatar

      lemongrass October 5, 2012, 2:24 pm

      Yeah, I’m gonna have to get you to come in on Saturday. And while you’re at it, I’m gonna have to get you to come in Sunday too.

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    • avatar

      ele4phant October 5, 2012, 6:49 pm

      Sadly, I think he was not.

      I was reading on CNN, and they guy (who CNN identified by name) said he stands by his statement and had further emphasized it with another douchetastic statement.

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  • avatar

    TECH October 5, 2012, 3:29 pm

    I couldn’t get over how many times she said what an “honor” it is to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. It’s not like they’re receiving some special award. She’s asking her “friends” to shell out thousands of dollars for the “privilege” of being in her wedding. Get over yourself. It’s not an honor, it’s more of an obiligation. Most people agree to be bridesmaids because they love and care for their friends, not because it’s such a privilege.

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    • avatar

      Rachel October 5, 2012, 3:38 pm

      But her wedding is going to be “epic” after all. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of that?? amiright?

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  • avatar

    TECH October 5, 2012, 3:32 pm

    You know what a bride with some humility and class would say? When her friend accepts the invitation, you say, “I’m so honored to have you as my bridesmaid.” Realizing the bridesmaid is putting herself out for her friend, not the other way around.

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  • avatar

    Addie Pray October 5, 2012, 3:36 pm

    I just read the Bridezilla article. Holy shit! That can’t be real, can it? If yes, it is shocking – nay, SHOCKING! – to me that a woman like that (a) manages to find a guy willing to spend his whole life with her and (b) has 10 friends to even ask to be bridesmaids. S H O C K I N G

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    • avatar

      bethany October 5, 2012, 3:43 pm

      True that.

      Is it time to drink yet?
      I’m totally over today.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        Iwannatalktosampson October 5, 2012, 4:09 pm

        Why yes, yes it is. I’m still in my clothes from hot yoga. How gross is that? I came home and proceeded to eat everything – because that’s my reward for working out. And now I’m just sitting here in my own stench. I think a glass of wine is juuuuuust the motivation I need to shower.

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    • Lili

      Lili October 5, 2012, 3:46 pm

      Eh, I kinda hate my friends lately and have been looking for new ones. With that in mind, I’d LOVE to go all our princess diva for my wedding like this chick and ‘lose a few’ amirite?! My guess is she asked all her sorority sisters to be in her wedding and this is mean girl payback.

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    • avatar

      TECH October 5, 2012, 3:52 pm

      If I was on the receiving end of the bridezilla email, I think I would step away from the computer and say, “Holy s**t, I’m friends with this person?” I’d seriously need to re-evaluate my life. But I would LOVE to read a response from one of the women that turned down the “honor” of taking on the “important roll” of bridesmaid. We could probably come up with some good responses ourselves.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ October 5, 2012, 3:55 pm

        Seconded! Would love to see that response!

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    • SarahKat

      SarahKat October 5, 2012, 3:58 pm

      That reminds me, I was at California Adventure last weekend ( I love magic!) and I saw a group of about 6-8 girls wearing sashes. There was the “Bride to Be” sash on the girl with the tiara, a bunch of girls with the “Bridesmaid” sash and one girl with the sash “Maid of Honor”. And then there was one girl in the group with a different sash. Her sash said…..”Friend of Bride”.

      BURN. Not only was she not good enough to make the cut as a bridesmaid, but she ALSO had to wear a sash proclaiming her bs sad title all day with the other girls??? And she probably had to buy that sash. I can’t even. I just can’t.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray October 5, 2012, 4:09 pm

        That is cold. If I were that “friend of the bride,” I would have told them to make my sash say “Frenemy of the Bride” just for shits and giggles. Any friend worth walking around in a sash like an idiot would have to let me at least have that.

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      • JK

        JK October 5, 2012, 4:12 pm

        That is so sad.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster October 5, 2012, 5:24 pm

        I want to be sad for her, but I would have died laughing if I saw that. Because I am laughing right now at my desk. I’m meaner than the bride, apparently!

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      • avatar

        Sydney October 5, 2012, 9:41 pm

        Long time lurker.

        I don’t see a problem with the friend sash at all. We did something similar with my sisters Bachelorette Party, but it was shirts. So no one was left out, anyone not in the wedding party had a shirt that said Best Friend of the Bride (there were 3). And they did not have to buy them, we bought them for everyone.

        The bride in the article sounds like a jerk, but not everyone getting married is like this. I personally don’t see the point of 10 bridesmaids. I’m considering just having one attendant each when I get married, but each to their own.

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  • avatar

    ktfran October 5, 2012, 3:51 pm

    I’m bored at work today, so I’m going to make lists. Much like I did the other day for when someone arranges my marriage. This is perfect because my next list is a contract I will send to people auditioning for one of 17 bridesmaid roles. My bridesmaids must:

    Have shoulder length hair, which can be pulled back into a half ponytail.
    Wear a size four, if not, diet.
    Get waxed one week before each event, of which there will be 22.
    Look good in the new “in” color, oxblood.
    Know how to dance well, especially to 90s hiphop.
    Have blue eyes. If not, buy contacts.
    Get nails painted my favorite shade of black. If you don’t know what that is, you’re out.
    Be able to take two weeks off work before the wedding.
    Know how to use super glue, because you’re working on all party favors the week up to the wedding.
    Have perfect penmanship. Who else will address each envelope.

    This list is just the beginning. I’m sure there is more. Please chack back later.

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  • KKZ

    KKZ October 5, 2012, 3:52 pm

    The Bridezilla article just made me sad. The vindictive part of me hopes all 10 of her precious, ‘honored’ friends say Hell No, We Won’t Go. But the rest of me is just sad for her.

    The handwriting article…Call up French’s, because we’re gonna need a lot of mustard to go with that Baloney.

    But the infertility one was great. Second-person P.O.V. is hard as hell to write in, and she carried it off well. I was really surprised to see people attacking her for being self-centered and entitled in the comments; it was a powerful piece about regret and struggle and accepting one’s fate and one’s decisions. I especially liked the point about people believing too much that they can influence the outcomes of things. I don’t believe in fate per se but I also think there’s some truth to this idea that control is an illusion.

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  • katie

    katie October 5, 2012, 3:54 pm

    there is a special place in hell for people like that bride. at least, i can only hope so.

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  • iwannatalktosampson

    Iwannatalktosampson October 5, 2012, 3:56 pm

    I saw the video of the news anchor earlier this week and I thought her response was perfect. I don’t think obesity is a good thing for our nation. It raises health care costs on a national level, and on an individual level it is just unhealthy. But so is smoking. In my mind they’re similar. Everyone knows smoking is bad for them but they do it anyway. That doesn’t really help solve the problem.

    Bullying is a huge problem and I find it so terribly sad that random strangers are so mean to each other. It’s mean. Plain and simple. And extremely unhelpful. Why would you want to make someone feel bad about themselves? I just don’t get it. When that bus driver video came out a few months ago I literally started crying and could only get through 1 minute of the 10 minute video. And I am not a cryer. I just don’t know what is wrong with people that they think it’s okay to treat another human being like that.

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    • Copa

      Copa October 6, 2012, 3:14 pm

      The grandma being bullied on the bus made me cry, too. I was bullied pretty terribly as a kid (not a cute kid, didn’t dress “cool,” was shy, awkward personality, etc.) and my thoughts on bullying can actually go two ways depending on the news I’m hearing. (Sometimes, I roll my eyes, to be honest.) But the grandma on the bus? Ughhh. Too hard to watch.

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