Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

From the Mailbag: “Drop the Inane Baby Talk!”

I’ve been getting some interesting feedback from readers lately and thought you guys might get a kick out of reading some of it. Here’s a recent critique from someone who doesn’t care to hear another word about my kid, and thinks this site is incredibly difficult to navigate:

I don’t have a lot of time so I’ll get right to the point.

Pls take me off your mailing list.

I have read your column for the last couple of years. I like your insights on human relationships but there are two glaring what I might respectfully call shortcomings that really clutter up your message.

First, all the constant prattle about your baby and the inane details about the child. I know you love your child and I love mine VERY VERY VERY much – perhaps more – but if I wanted to get a kid report I can talk to my next door neighborhood. I don’t need to know almost nothing of your personal life. Let the “advice” portion of your response speak to your quality of response. It clutters up the column. I don’t want to know daily details, pics or who is Jewish or who is not or going on vacation. Few people do.

Second, with all the input from outsiders, about your child and so forth, your column is HARD to navigate. I know you know it INSIDE and OUT. True. But readers don’t have that luxury to go over it milimeter by milimeter. We want a clear, new age question, adapted to modern times and a sensible piece of advice, followed by my assessement of this statement: “Wow, Wendy, that’s great. WHY didn’t I think of that first?” Maybe, sit down with almost a total stranger, and ask them how they can cruise around your site. Its not easy nor organized well. Too, too much information and distractions from the central message: advice and sharp observations, concise and pointed.

I am a male, with a MBA, over 40 in a long marriage so I am sure I am tone deaf so please ignore that shortcoming of mine. I followed you over from that previous syndicate and loved your responses and insight but again, all I can continue to say is your message is getting really, really cluttered.

Just a thought, [redacted]

First of all, are you Sarah Palin’s speech writer? Secondly, I get it: No more inane baby details — you’ve got your next door “neighborhood” for that — check. Clear the clutter, stick to “new age questions, adapted to modern times,” with sharp, pointed responses — got it. No more daily details, no more pictures, no more updates on vacation plans, or clarifications about who’s Jewish or not — okay! Thank you for your feedback, [redacted]; I value your opinion! Oh, and I don’t have an email list, but if I did, I assure you that you would, indeed, be removed from it.

P.S. I appreciate that some readers have zero interest in me, my life, my family, or anything other than the advice columns themselves. While the columns are the “meat” of the site, it has always been my intention to provide a variety of content that may appeal to a variety of readers (but that also means that not all the content will appeal to all readers all of the time). If you’re only interested in the columns, that’s great and there’s a handy dandy navigation bar at the top of the site with the tab “categories” where you can click on “columns” and cut right past everything you may consider “clutter,” including adorable photos of my sweet baby, you baby-hater, you. I wouldn’t think someone would have to know a website “inside and out” to understand the general location and functionality of a navigation bar.

157 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Trixy Minx April 24, 2012, 1:03 pm

    Is this a joke?

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  • avatar

    Ktfran April 24, 2012, 1:04 pm

    And this is why, Wendy, you are awesome!

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  • avatar

    iseeshiny April 24, 2012, 1:05 pm

    I love how he suggests he loves his kids more. Like, um what? Fyou.

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    • Leroy

      Leroy April 24, 2012, 1:36 pm

      well he does have an MBA.

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      • avatar

        Callifax April 24, 2012, 5:24 pm

        This gave me a good laugh.

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      • avatar

        kali April 26, 2012, 10:05 pm

        An MBA from a box of Cracker Jacks? The dude is an ass. He should’ve left it at ‘Unsubscribe.’

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest April 24, 2012, 1:37 pm

      Yea, what the hell was that?

      Jeez Wendy, where do you get the patience? I love that we have all the added baby stuff now! I think before you had Jack I wrote that I hoped you would have parenting advice on here one day even. Anyway, you look just beautiful in that picture.

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    • avatar

      rachel April 24, 2012, 1:48 pm

      I also think he doesn’t know what “tone deaf” means.

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  • avatar

    Something More April 24, 2012, 1:07 pm

    “I know you love your child and I love mine VERY VERY VERY much – perhaps more – but if I wanted to get a kid report I can talk to my next door neighborhood.”

    … perhaps more…?

    Whatadouche.

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    • avatar

      MsBorgia April 24, 2012, 1:10 pm

      I read this to mean “I love them very very very much— perhaps more than very much, because I don’t know enough adjectives to cover that possibility”

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      • becboo84

        BecBoo84 April 24, 2012, 1:23 pm

        That’s how I read it as well! I highly doubt he was telling Wendy he loved his kiddos more than she loves Jackson. If that is the case, he is definitely a jerk!

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      • avatar

        amy April 24, 2012, 3:21 pm

        You mean… they don’t teach that when you take your MBA? hahahahahaha. What a jerk.

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  • landygirl

    landygirl April 24, 2012, 1:07 pm

    I wish you’d post more pictures of Jackson, not only because they’re cute but because it would piss this dude off.

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    • Tracey

      Tracey April 25, 2012, 1:52 pm

      I vote for pics of Jackson with Miles wearing yamulkes while on vacation looking to have a tasty beverage at that hot, new Navigation Bar everyone’s talking about but can’t find….

      This guy needs to go soak his head.

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  • avatar

    MJ April 24, 2012, 1:08 pm

    How the heck is this site hard to navigate? There is one main column. It has advice or essays. That is it. Weirdo.

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    • avatar

      CJnBoston April 24, 2012, 2:25 pm

      Maybe it’s the clicking on the titles of the letters that he finds confusing.

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    • avatar

      LTC039 April 24, 2012, 5:52 pm

      This is probably one of the most accessible sites I’ve been on… Fairly simple to navigate… I think I have my old Hooked On Phonics book from grammar school lying around that I should send to this person.

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  • Diablo

    Diablo April 24, 2012, 1:09 pm

    I am over 40, male, am married, possess a Master’s degree, and yet somehow find the inclusion of Wendy’s real persona and experiences endearing and feel that it adds a dimension to my understanding of the advice she gives. I would suggest that persons not liking the site not follow it. Wendy Rawks. End transmission.

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    • avatar

      Callifax April 24, 2012, 5:28 pm

      Agreed! The columns and personal information make me care a lot more about her and her advice. I think it’s been a great addition to the site.

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  • Budj

    Budj April 24, 2012, 1:10 pm

    I really hate finding out who is Jewish too….

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    • call-me-hobo

      call-me-hobo April 24, 2012, 1:24 pm

      Then I have some really bad news about Jon Stewart…

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  • avatar

    bethany April 24, 2012, 1:11 pm

    I would love to go on record as saying I WANT MORE BABY PICS!!!

    🙂

    I love reading letters and Wendy’s advice! I love reading about Jackson and how he’s changed her life! I love reading coumns from guest writters! The only thing I don’t like reading is stuff from people bashing the site. If you don’t like it, don’t read it!!! MOA!

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 1:27 pm

      I second that – MORE BABY PICS! Seriously, these columns are kind of dragging the site down. (Kidding)!

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  • avatar

    MarkD April 24, 2012, 1:12 pm

    How much is he paying you to come around and moan?

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  • avatar

    jlyfsh April 24, 2012, 1:13 pm

    Luckily his opinion is not one of the majority! Personally Wendy I think I get more out of your advice after getting to know you from your personal columns.

    And who doesn’t like a picture of a cute baby? I bet he kicks puppies too.

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  • bagge72

    bagge72 April 24, 2012, 1:17 pm

    People are so dumb sometimes, don’t people realize that if they see something they don’t wont to read, they don’t have to read it. It really is that simple. If this guys comes to the site, and sees an article he doesn’t want to read, just don’t read it. That would be like emailing ESPN, and telling them to stop running articles about about lacrose, or other sports that I don’t read about. It’s not going to happen, because other people like reading about that stuff!

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    • avatar

      bethany April 24, 2012, 1:22 pm

      You see that in comments a lot– Like when I read an article on CNN’s entertainment section, you’ll see people in the comments piss and moan “Why is this news? This is CNN! Who Cares?” First off, it’s the entertainment section, so what were you expecting?, second, if you hate it so much why bother wasting yoru time reading the whole thing and then commenting on it!?

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      • bagge72

        bagge72 April 24, 2012, 1:28 pm

        Exaclty I hate when I see that. So you hate it so much that you had to read it, and comment on it? Well guess what, the more comments it gets the more articles like it you will see!

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      • avatar

        Taylor April 24, 2012, 3:43 pm

        My favorite is when I read those “this isn’t news!” comments on something like that on a gossip site, or the Popwatch blog on Entertainment Weekly. It’s a blog whose theme is keeping an eye on pop culture…how is it a surprise that it’s 99.9% fluff?

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    • Budj

      Budj April 24, 2012, 1:34 pm

      wait – you aren’t hypnotically compelled to read every article and comment and forum post on the website?

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      • katie

        katie April 24, 2012, 2:08 pm

        …i know i am… haha

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      • honeybeenicki

        honeybeenicki April 24, 2012, 3:03 pm

        I am too

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      • avatar

        Taylor April 24, 2012, 3:43 pm

        Me three.

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  • avatar

    Christy April 24, 2012, 1:18 pm

    BTW Wendy you look FABULOUS in that picture.

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  • becboo84

    BecBoo84 April 24, 2012, 1:21 pm

    I love this site, and as a mom myself, I love all of the baby talk, pictures, etc. I actually think they’ve added to the quality. However, publishing this guy’s letter was, in my view, unnecessary, as it was only done to make him look/feel like a db. Clearly, he’s a long time follower since he came to this site after liking your advice on TF, so I’d probably cut him a little slack. Yes, his email consisted of some poor word choice, but if he’s followed you for this long strictly because he liked the advice column part, it’s understandable that he may not necessarily love all of the new columns. This was just my two cents… and clearly, based on the comments thus far, I’m in the minority!

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    • landygirl

      landygirl April 24, 2012, 1:26 pm

      He is entitled to his opinion but he is not entitled to dictate the parameters of Wendy’s website because he doesn’t like pictures of her baby.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      Iwannatalktosampson April 24, 2012, 1:32 pm

      Yeah except the thing about it is – if you don’t want to read anything but advice columns – DON’T. No one is forcing him to read the posts about babies.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest April 24, 2012, 1:40 pm

      I’m with sampson, but also, I think it was quite classy to redact his name. I’da published it.

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      • FireStar

        FireStar April 24, 2012, 1:49 pm

        I get the sense that you would fully have a wall of shame up.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 24, 2012, 1:54 pm

        Someone yelled at me on here about getting a kick out of the time Wendy banned someone and said I was super childish and hateful, so I admit to nothing.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 24, 2012, 1:59 pm

        OK, now that I’ve thought about it, yea I totally would do a wall of shame. If you are an asshole, everyone should know it. You clearly have no issue with announcing you are an asshole, so what’s the harm in keeping everyone safe from you. (the hypothetical you, not you)

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      • FireStar

        FireStar April 24, 2012, 2:16 pm

        You know that the people yelling at you before would totally read your wall of shame, right?

        A little accountability doesn’t hurt any one… I’m thinking we wouldn’t have gotten those crazy ass comments on the letter about the woman dating the man that impregnated the other woman keeping the baby if the Internet wasn’t so anonymous. I’m sure half those guys claiming to be married were posting from their mothers’ basements.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 24, 2012, 2:22 pm

        Well if the Internet wasn’t anonymous, I wouldn’t admit I have a growing girl crush on. Don’t tell AP.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 3:02 pm

        Love!

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    • avatar

      Lydia April 25, 2012, 7:48 am

      I agree. The dude sounds like a jerk, but in my opinion, you don’t just publish emails that were sent to you and you alone, with no intention by the writer for publication, for everyone to read.

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  • avatar

    Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 1:26 pm

    Wow. First, I’ve always thought of “inane” as one of those words that the thesaurus suggests and then you insert it just to sound smarter even though you’re stupid, like saying “ponder” instead of “think.” Anybody feel that way about the word “inane”? So, yea, I think that word is dumb. Or inane, whatever. (Unless of course you’re my friend, then you can use that word.) Second, [redacted], why do you hate babies and puppies and grandmothers and freshly baked pies and love on a rainy night and rainbows? Were you unloved as a child? I blame your mother. Third, there’s no other site that will have an Addie Pray forum, so that’s a pretty big deal you’re clearly overlooking. [Sorry, ego still HUGE from the other day.] Fourth, I’m not sure why but your letter is making me really ANGRY! Five, oh I know why I’m angry, it’s because you’re one of those trolls that spew meanness. I hate those kind of people. It’s really hard for me to be mean back because I’m such a fucking delight, but this was my best attempt in a few seconds or less.

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    • JK

      JK April 24, 2012, 1:33 pm

      What an inane comment, AP. I´ll be sure to show it to my hubby. 😀

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 1:36 pm

        Your mom’s inane. (Oh snap!)

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      • JK

        JK April 24, 2012, 1:39 pm

        You spelled mum wrong.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 24, 2012, 1:41 pm

        I wish I was your mom so you could call me mum. Its so endearing.

        Wendy, is this from a frequent commenter?

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 1:50 pm

        Point, JK. 🙂

        I do love “mum.” But does mum become mummy, like a MUMMY?

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom April 24, 2012, 2:44 pm

        Yes it does. I sometimes remind my husband to call his mummy.

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    • avatar

      *HmC* April 24, 2012, 3:10 pm

      Ok now I am just biding my time until I can tell someone that’s it’s difficult for me to be mean because “I’m such a fucking delight”. I want to do it with a straight face and no sarcasm.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 3:18 pm

        Go forth and use that line! I say it a lot, just like that. Like when my boss asks why I *still* don’t have a boyfriend, I say very seriously, “No clue, it’s shocking to me considering what a fucking delight I am.” He laughs, and then waits a whole month or so to ask me again and to remind me how if he were to become single he wouldn’t know what to do – it would be such a horrible, horrible thing to be single. (I know he says it out of the kindness of his heart and not a hatred for single people.)

        Truth is, though, I’m not a fucking delight. I can be sassy and negative and make fun of people. Though, I feel like I make fun of them for the right reasons, of course.

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      • avatar

        Taylor April 24, 2012, 3:46 pm

        Actually, being sassy and negative and making fun is part of what makes one a fucking delight =)

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      • Lianne

        Lianne April 24, 2012, 3:56 pm

        When are you moving to Boston so we can be friends?

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 4:01 pm

        Well, it’s taken me about 10 hours today to get off the couch. At this rate, I probably won’t make it to Boston any time soon. But when I do, can we eat seafood together at Causeways in Gloucester? (I like saying “Causeways” and “Gloucester” like a Bostonian, by the way. I also get a kick out of the word Peabody, because, oddly, even that is pronounced WRONG. Ha.)

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      • Lianne

        Lianne April 24, 2012, 4:59 pm

        Causeways is new to me. If you enjoy those though, you’ll love to say Medford (pronounced Meh-feh) and Worcester (pronounced Wooh-stah).

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 6:13 pm

        Meh-feh?! Haha. Woohstah I learned when I had a flat tire on a highway on my way to my sister’s, and a cop pulled up and sat with me until the tow truck came. I called my sister while I waited, and she asked where i was, i looked up and there was a sign that said Worcester so I said, “I’m near a place called wor-chest-er,” and the cop laughed and laughed and laughed because I butchered it. Lol. Causeways isn’t pronounced weird, I don’t think, I just like saying “cause” like I’m from the east coast.

        Lianne, find out if your company is looking for an in-house employment attorney….

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      • Lianne

        Lianne April 24, 2012, 8:42 pm

        Aw we’re not big enough for that. I’ll put my feelers out though.

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  • avatar

    MsMisery April 24, 2012, 1:28 pm

    LOLOL.

    I am a child-free person and don’t really even like kids. I know that every time one of my friends has a child, MY life and THEIR life will change (and I counted Wendy in this life-changing-ness!!) I know that part of being an adult means that knowing I will sometimes have to say “Hey how’s the kid?” even though I don’t want to hear about diapers or day care for more than 2 minutes. But they are kids of my friends, so therefore, family. Grow up, LW. If you don’t want to read about whatever Wendy is writing about, skip it!! Jeebus.

    And the fact that I can still get on DW at work (where I do 99% of my DW’ing) means this site is clean and easy, because my work likes to block and ban almost everything!! *knocks on wood*

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    • TaraMonster

      TaraMonster April 24, 2012, 3:26 pm

      Solution to the blocking thing: Use an RSS feed. I use Google reader for everything. Take that, Corporate America!!! You can’t see comments though, unless you subscribe to them, which I’ve never tried to do.

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    • avatar

      Elizabeth April 24, 2012, 8:43 pm

      My work blocks DW. I think it might be because of the word “provocative” in the site description.”Dear Wendy is a relationship-themed website that features provocative advice columns, personal essays, funny and informative lists, polls, and …”

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  • call-me-hobo

    call-me-hobo April 24, 2012, 1:28 pm

    If only we could replace Wendy with some sort of advice giving robot… Like a more compassionate skynet?

    Now I’m going to read all of Wendy’s advice in Arnold Schwarzenneger’s voice.

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  • avatar

    AK47 April 24, 2012, 1:29 pm

    Can’t people remove themselves from the least? Way to get your panties/boxers in a twist. As a childless lady reader, I love reading your perspective on new motherhood and how it impacts your life. I would like to have kids of my own in a few years, and I appreciate the honesty on both the joys and the hardships you’ve faced as you adjust to your new life.

    Also, love that picture of you two! You look adorable, and I love how Jackson appears to be eyeing your delicious mojito like he wants a sip.

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  • iwannatalktosampson

    Iwannatalktosampson April 24, 2012, 1:30 pm

    You should make this feature a regular. It’s good for the laughs. Also weren’t you complaining a while ago about not losing the baby weight? Because you look amazing! And this picture makes having a baby look not so bad.

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 1:32 pm

      I gained Wendy’s baby weight. It’s a long, weird story.

      (I don’t know, it sounded funny in my head but now reading it, I think it’s creepy.)

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        Iwannatalktosampson April 24, 2012, 1:43 pm

        Haha I laughed when I read it – so no judgment here.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 1:50 pm

        Phew, ok, I feel better now, thanks.

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    • JK

      JK April 24, 2012, 1:34 pm

      Yes, definitely should become a regular feature. Like on Regretsy.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy April 24, 2012, 2:45 pm

      Aw, thanks. I still have 9 very stubborn pounds to lose before I’m at pre-pregnancy weight, and I’d like to lose at least an additional 5 pounds after that, but we’ll see… I’m trying not to beat myself up too much about it.

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  • avatar

    lawchica1088 April 24, 2012, 1:32 pm

    I’ve never commented on DW before but I had to create a username simply to comment on this ridiculous letter.

    If you don’t like something don’t read it, let alone spend valuable time writing a rude email!

    In fact, you are an MBA do a cost benefit analysis! Cost of writing such a ridiculous letter- precious time. Benefits of writing the letter?- zip, zero, none.

    p.s. I also fail to see how it is difficult to navigate…. you scroll down and read the letters.

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  • avatar

    katiebird April 24, 2012, 1:33 pm

    Can I just say that this site needs MORE baby pics?? like i would totally die if you had jackson easter eggs placed around the site, mouse over the top left hand corner, BOOM JACKSON IN A ONESIE! excellent

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    • avatar

      rachel April 24, 2012, 1:45 pm

      This is a brilliant idea.

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  • avatar

    *HmC* April 24, 2012, 1:34 pm

    I get bothered by too much “inane baby talk” I suppose, though I think it’d be more accurate to say that I get bothered by too much inane talking about any one subject. I think Wendy’s discussed her baby pretty minimally considering how much of her time and energy he takes up, and I have found her essays on the subject quite poignant and interesting- anything but inane. But I guess that’s why I am a fan that continues coming back and this LW just seems kind of jerky to me.

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    • Leroy

      Leroy April 24, 2012, 3:07 pm

      That’s the thing. there’s really not a lot of baby talk, or Jew talk either – not sure why that’s stuck in his craw! And what the hell is a ‘new age’ question.

      I think that Wendy’s been contacted by Pierce Hawthorne from Community.

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      • avatar

        *HmC* April 24, 2012, 3:13 pm

        Yeah he sounds like a weirdo, trying to sound more smart than he is by using words he doesn’t understand. Crazy enough to just disregard his odd opinion. Some people are just frustrated and weird and want to spew it somewhere where they won’t have to experiences consequences. I guess that’s the price you pay for opening up to the internet… not that Wendy or anyone deserves it. But this guy sounds so weird I think at least she can rest assured that he doesn’t have valid concerns that are shared by many other people.

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  • JK

    JK April 24, 2012, 1:37 pm

    What is the point in having kids if you can´t talk inanely about them afterwards?

    Wendy, I always love how you dress Jackson! I always had the lack of cute clothes as one of the reason I preferred girls, but Jackson´s wardrobe might change my mind if a 3rd were to appear (Jebus forbid!)

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  • avatar

    Buzzelbee April 24, 2012, 1:39 pm

    I feel like the letter is almost as crazy as a general letter to the internet asking for fewer pictures of cats.

    Wendy, you look great and I LOVE your long pendent necklace in that pic!

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    • avatar

      artsygirl April 24, 2012, 2:47 pm

      There should never be fewer pictures of cats – Miles would be displeased

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      • avatar

        Taylor April 24, 2012, 3:47 pm

        I do think the site could use more pictures of Miles!

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  • avatar

    melikeycheesecake April 24, 2012, 1:41 pm

    Nothing he said is correct. He is a jerk. I and many of the DW readers do not agree with you MBA MAN.

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  • BriarRose

    BriarRose April 24, 2012, 1:42 pm

    I know it’s easy for us to say, but try not to let it get to you too much. Obviously he’s in the minority, and he’s completely free to pick and choose which articles/letters he reads. I do believe there’s a compliment in there somewhere (he says he likes your insight) so I hope you’ll take that from it and leave the rest.

    And since I’m feeling snarky and anonymous, I’ll just point out that his letter was a bit oddly written and hard to follow, making his message really, really cluttered….

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  • FireStar

    FireStar April 24, 2012, 1:43 pm

    Silly boy – I’m afraid no one asked you. But how fascinating you have a sense of entitlement that allows you to let Wendy know how she could tailor her site to suit you. I’m just going to assume temporary insanity and let’s move on, shall we?

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  • avatar

    rachel April 24, 2012, 1:44 pm

    ” I don’t need to know almost nothing of your personal life. ”

    If I can understand these double negatives properly, it means he wants to know EVERYTHING about your personal life! So, clearly we need a new column entitled “What did Wendy eat for dinner today?”

    Heehee…seriously though…I love the baby columns even though I have no interest in ever having kids myself.

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    • JK

      JK April 24, 2012, 1:46 pm

      Everything about her personal life? He must be the one that asked her about sexual preferences, etc from a while back. That´s why he´s upset!!!

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      • avatar

        rachel April 24, 2012, 1:49 pm

        Oh, wow, I had forgotten all about that letter! It makes complete sense!

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    • katie

      katie April 24, 2012, 4:52 pm

      im glad someone else noticed that lol

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  • avatar

    Robin April 24, 2012, 1:52 pm

    Wow….someone needs to lighten up. Personally, I love hearing about Jackson and Andrew. Perhaps this site is not for you…

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark April 24, 2012, 1:52 pm

    Eh, if I was Wendy I would take it as a compliment. Who knew that her readership also included the clearly mentally challenged? I kid, I kid.

    Sure, this site has its flaws — the inability of posters to edit their own posts for errors would be the biggie — but it couldn’t be more easier to navigate…

    Strange, strange letter.

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  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow April 24, 2012, 1:55 pm

    Wait – but you do have an email list, don’t you? I get a Dear Wendy email every day… although I don’t remember how or when I signed up…

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh April 24, 2012, 1:59 pm

      underneath the forum lists there is a little subscribe button with a heart by it. it’s more of a here are the columns i’ve published the past few days email. and i might be wrong but i thought at the end of the email somewhere it said something about if you’d like to unsubscribe click here….

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow April 24, 2012, 2:39 pm

        yeahhh, ok. That’s it.

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  • Just Max

    Just Max April 24, 2012, 1:57 pm

    I guess he doesn’t know how to skip posts/columns. Geez, just don’t read the stuff you don’t like, dude.

    Wendy, I really, really appreciate your essays on motherhood. Every single one. Keep them coming, please. 🙂

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  • honeybeenicki

    honeybeenicki April 24, 2012, 2:01 pm

    “I know you love your child and I love mine VERY VERY VERY much – perhaps more”

    Did he really say he possibly loves his child more than you love yours? I don’t know where that is from.

    Anyway, from a daily (ok, more than daily– hourly) reader, I like your site. I like reading about you and Jackson and Drew and everything. It brings more depth to the site and to your responses. We often have an idea of where you would be coming from when you answer questions. I would like to read more of this lovely mail though 🙂

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  • avatar

    sarolabelle April 24, 2012, 2:10 pm

    ugh….this sucks and ruined my day. I am hoping the next column Wendy posts is a better one than this!

    to the LW – grow up and get off Dear Wendy if you don’t like it!

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  • Fabelle

    Fabelle April 24, 2012, 2:34 pm

    How ridonkulous (yes, that dude deserves a “ridonkulous”). First of all, I think this site is one of the easiest to navigate & everything is CLEARLY labeled & clean. So wtf? Anddd second of all, I’m not really a baby person, but I actually always read Wendy’s baby posts & am always amazed by how adorable Jackson is.

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  • avatar

    artsygirl April 24, 2012, 2:44 pm

    Thanks for the nice laugh this afternoon Wendy – obviously this man is a tool. Seriously, when you are posting family/personal stuff it is clearly marked so you would think he would decide to skip that if it did not appeal. He sounds like that banker who sent his date a 1615 word email haranguing her for being a tease.

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  • Dear Wendy

    Wendy April 24, 2012, 2:49 pm

    Thanks, everyone, for the sweet comments. The photo was taken last week at lunch with a mom friend and her baby. Yes, I had a mojito at noon! I got that tank top at Target, by the way, and liked it so well, I bought it in another color, too. It’s one of the few new pieces of clothing I’ve bought myself since jackson’s birth (I’m still hoping to drop some more weight before I do a true post-pregnancy shopping spree).

    As for the letter, it didn’t bother me at all — I really just thought it was sort of silly and thought you guys might find it amusing, too. The guy who wrote it is not a frequent commenter, though he has commented enough times to call me “stupid,” “crass,” and “rude.” Forgive me if I don’t feel particularly endeared to him, even if he is a long-time reader…

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    • avatar

      iseeshiny April 24, 2012, 3:14 pm

      Oh, I know who it is now!

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    • avatar

      SweetPea April 24, 2012, 3:32 pm

      Wendy- I bought the same Target tank top in two different colors as well. It really fits well and the colors are bright, happy colors. I do kind of have a Target shopping problem that I should probably get some help for.

      You’re looking lovely 🙂

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 3:32 pm

      Really? It bothered me a ton! You gotta have thick skin to put yourself out there in the line of fire of haters, eh?

      ALSO, I HAVE BEEN DEARWENDYING SINCE 6 AM – reading the forums, waiting for the first post, commenting all over the first post, reading the second post, commenting all over that post, commenting in the forums again, …. I’M LEAVING MY APARTMENT NOW. HERE I GO! SERIOUSLY, I’M GOING OUTSIDE NOW.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 3:58 pm

        I haven’t left yet but I’m leaving now. I brushed my teeth and put deodorant on. It’ll probably take me half an hour to put on my shoes but I’m working toward accomplishing that. Who cares? [redacted] cares to know, I know.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 4:05 pm

        Socks are on, people. It’s getting serious up in here.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 4:10 pm

        I’m really glad no one is talking to me because that would probably delay my bike ride. I think I’m going to crash my bike into a hot guy – what a great “how we met” story that would make!

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 4:16 pm

        Bye, everyone. TV is off, shoes are on. I put on some make up just in case I do have the occasion to crash into a hot guy. I even turned off the coffee machine. All signs are pointing toward me going outside to enjoy the day. Maybe I can find a moms’ play group outside to crash! No crash like I’m going to do with the hot guy, but join. Do you think moms would want me to join them? Also, do you think I need a jacket? It’s so hard to tell from up here. Where is everyone? Are you all outside?

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 6:20 pm

        I’m back from an uneventful bike ride. There was no crashing into hot dudes. Which is good because I forgot my helmet. Waaa?! Relax, I usually always where one. Phew.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 6:22 pm

        *wear, shut up

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      • avatar

        bethany April 25, 2012, 9:40 am

        You’re killing me!

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    • Lianne

      Lianne April 24, 2012, 3:57 pm

      sounds more like a long time bag of douche.

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    • avatar

      Temperance April 24, 2012, 6:42 pm

      With all due respect, hate reading does not make him a long-time reader. 😉

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  • avatar

    amy April 24, 2012, 3:20 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Why does a 40 year old man with *AN* MBA in a long marriage spend all of that time to send you a rude email? There are topics on here that don’t interest me, so I just find the other topics that I am interested in.

    He doth protest too much, I think. what in the world does [redacted] mean, anyway?

    Those that try really, REALLY hard to be smart, like talking about how he has *AN* MBA, not A MBA as he stated, are really not that bright and are overcompensating. That’s just my opinion though.

    And your baby is adorable.

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    • avatar

      rachel April 24, 2012, 4:46 pm

      [redacted] means that he actually signed a name and Wendy edited it out.

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    • avatar

      rachel April 24, 2012, 4:48 pm

      And, yeah, I like how he mentions that he has the MBA to add credibility or something, haha.

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    • avatar

      Temperance April 24, 2012, 6:42 pm

      Well, I have half of a JD and I think that this letter sucks balls.

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  • Jess

    Jess April 24, 2012, 3:21 pm

    Congrats on not letting it get to you Wendy. I’m not sure I’d be as level headed.

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  • avatar

    LANY April 24, 2012, 3:29 pm

    Wendy, me and my top 10 MBA love you! 😉

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  • avatar

    AKchic April 24, 2012, 3:36 pm

    What a [FCC censor, due to the nature and description of the phrase used].

    If you don’t like the content – don’t fucking read it.
    If you cannot handle a simple layout – don’t fucking visit the website in question.

    What in the hell is wrong with this moron? Is he on a superiority trip? If so, I’d love to meet this asswipe. He’d be crying within an hour.

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    • avatar

      Taylor April 24, 2012, 3:38 pm

      I so heart this comment.

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  • avatar

    Taylor April 24, 2012, 3:38 pm

    Well, balls. I am tucking your baby advice and stories away for a couple years down the road when I’m hoping for babies myself. What a goof of a letter writer – it does contain on of my favorite things, a person who puts his education out there as a qualification for an unrelated opinion.

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    • Lili

      Lili April 24, 2012, 6:12 pm

      YES! I agree, Wendy’s personal essays have taught me a lot about marriage, motherhood, even fatherhood in such well written touching ways. Honestly, her essays are amazing anecdotal words of wisdom that mean a lot to a person who feels very ‘blind’ and without positive examples in navigating marriage and motherhood. Also, I feel that knowing who WENDY herself is gives more weight to her words, she’s a real person. Not Ann Landers sitting in her tower advising us from above, but she’s a person who has experiences and uses those to help others. Its an amazing site and I credit it to much of my personal emotional growth this past year!

      SO thanks again Wendy!!!

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      • Dear Wendy

        Wendy April 24, 2012, 7:11 pm

        Feedback like this makes my heart explode. Thank you.

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    • Lili

      Lili April 24, 2012, 6:13 pm

      Oh and I replied to you because you wrote my favorite sentence today: a person who puts his education out there as a qualification for an unrelated opinion.
      That is exactly how I feel!

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray April 24, 2012, 6:19 pm

        I wish you were here to drink this wine with me. I have a JD.

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      • Lili

        Lili April 24, 2012, 6:34 pm

        My mother would be super proud of that!

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  • avatar

    mf April 24, 2012, 3:43 pm

    This guy actually seems offended by the baby posts. What a douche! I’ll admit, I gloss over the personal posts too. Jackson is adorable but I don’t have kids and am not particularly interested in reading about them. That being said, it’s Wendy’s site! She can post whatever she wants and I’m free to read or not read it. There’s no reason to take it personally.

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  • avatar

    Seri April 24, 2012, 3:45 pm

    With an MBA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is my favorite part. I love when pretentious douches slip info like that in there to make their opinion seem more legit (“I’m an ER doc, and I think…”). Hahahahahaaaaaa.

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    • landygirl

      landygirl April 24, 2012, 5:02 pm

      One time I was on the bus and some crazy dude tried to get on without paying. The bus driver wasn’t having any of it and the guy was offended and yelled “I’m a San Franciso native AND a rock star!” as if that made it okay for him to hop on the bus for free. The driver still wouldn’t let him on.

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  • Crochet.Ninja

    Michelle.Lea April 24, 2012, 2:58 pm

    sorta bizarre really. if you dont like the site, then dont look?

    i like the personal notes on blogs/columns like this, because it makes the person on the other end *real*. it’s too easy for people to forget that there are always real people behind posts etc.

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    • Tracey

      Tracey April 25, 2012, 2:00 pm

      “If you don’t like the site, then don’t look” – and you don’t even need an MBA to figure that one out!

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  • avatar

    Muffy April 24, 2012, 4:01 pm

    Everyone knows that people with MBAs are expert site navigators. Ergo there must be something wrong with the site….

    I’m being sarcastic

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  • avatar

    LolaBeans April 24, 2012, 4:49 pm

    i think some of my favourite pieces that you write are the ones about you, jackson and drew!

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  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom April 24, 2012, 4:09 pm

    I just saw this and hope Wendy and all those raising sons have fun reading it:

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    • AKchic_

      AKchic_ April 25, 2012, 2:10 pm

      That was adorable.

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  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom April 24, 2012, 5:47 pm

    Personally, I like the family/baby posts. I think they give the site a personal touch so that everyone gets to know Wendy a little and it’s fun to read about raising children. I hardly think that there are lots of baby posts, I think that there is about one family post per week so really Wendy isn’t going overboard here and taking the site in an entirely different direction. Many of those who read the site here want to know what it’s like to bring a baby into a husband and wife relationship. It’s an important thing to know and since babies do affect relationships it is completely appropriate to mention babies on this site. Anyone not interested in any topic can, of course, skip that topic.

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  • avatar

    Nadine April 24, 2012, 5:48 pm

    Lending my support for baby pics, the site, and more emails from weirdos!!

    Sorry, highly educated weirdos only need apply.

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  • avatar

    LTC039 April 24, 2012, 5:48 pm

    The LW is right, next time I want to hear about “baby talk” I’ll go to my next door “neighborhood”…

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  • MELH

    MELH April 24, 2012, 6:06 pm

    I would like to lodge the opposite complaint- I want more baby pictures and personal essays! I love the advice and the letters, but your personal essays are always my favorite to read! And you look great and Jackson is adorable!

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    • MELH

      MELH April 24, 2012, 8:25 pm

      And I mean lodging a complaint in jest of course! I love this site and I’m so sad that lately with my new job I haven’t been able to read as much!

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  • avatar

    Temperance April 24, 2012, 6:40 pm

    Since most of your commentariat is young women, with a few dudes, I would say that he’s off-base.

    While I don’t have any children, I find it refreshing that you are honest about your struggles and triumphs with Jackson, balancing your work with motherhood, and all of that. I feel like it’s sadly rare that women are able to be honest about such things in a public way. I have many friends who have confided in me that they hate staying at home with their kids, but they only tell me because I won’t blab it or judge them.

    In short, I think your “life” posts are interesting and important, and could inspire other women to be open about certain issues in their lives.

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  • avatar

    Anna April 24, 2012, 7:21 pm

    I can assure you that his opinion is not common. I love the baby pics and articles about new motherhood. As a woman who wants kids but hasn’t had any yet, it gives me a lot of insight into what I’m really striving for.

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  • avatar

    DebMoore April 24, 2012, 8:10 pm

    I thought reading this website was optional, not mandatory! Also you can choose which articles to read right? Thats always been my experience on this easy to use site! Sometimes (no offense Wendy) I don’t feel like a baby update, so I just don’t click on that article. So yeah………….haters always gotta be hating!

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    • avatar

      DMR April 29, 2012, 2:39 am

      “I thought reading this website was optional”

      If you “subscribe” you’ll get every single article in your inbox. I suspect that was the problem here. If he lost interest in some material, then it starts to feel less like a subscription and more like spam. This is why I don’t subscribe to websites: it just adds clutter to my email.

      The solution is to unsubscribe and instead just visit regularly. The solution is not to complain to the website owner.

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  • avatar

    pamplemousse April 24, 2012, 11:19 pm

    It makes me die a little inside to know this guy has an MBA and still can’t put a sentence together. Maybe he was just blinded by rage at the non-existent mailing list spam he gets.

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  • avatar

    RhyanShae April 24, 2012, 11:47 pm

    I can imagine this person, upon reading the site today, smirking. He’s getting his attention.

    Actually, I give Wendy a ton of credit. She’s willing to share parts of her life a lot of people I know keep private. When she writes her articles/commentary on new motherhood and her family, she is, above all, completely honest. She lays her insecurities out in those articles, knowing how many are going to read it.

    I remember, once, getting a creepy email from some random guy I’d never encountered before that had read some post on a message board I owned and I took it about the same way Wendy did. Some people just can’t be helped.

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  • avatar

    Alex April 24, 2012, 11:56 pm

    I’ve been coming to this particular site for only a short time, but when I first started reading DW on another site, I found THAT one harder to navigate than this one. I love how I can search specifically for all “updates” of previous letters (that’s my guilty pleasure – reading how Wendy’s advice helped them), and I also love that it’s become more than just advice.

    I love this website. I wouldn’t want to see a single thing change.

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  • avatar

    spark April 25, 2012, 7:35 am

    Wow! I think your site is super easy to navigate. And I LOVE that you throw in occasional real-life tidbits about what’s happening in your own life. It adds a human side to this side, and most of your experiences are totally relatable to many people. Keep the occasional Jackson updates coming!

    Sheesh. It’s not like your answer every advice question with, “Well, let me give you an example – when I had Jackson…” Or, “Perhaps he doesn’t understand love because, truly, no one can until they have a child. Let me tell you about when I gave birth.”

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  • fast eddie

    fast eddie April 25, 2012, 9:42 am

    As much as I love Wendy and the DW community the posts about Jackson have changed the tone of the site. That’s life and I want to stay involved. We don’t have kids and Wendy’s willingness to share hers is a treasure. I do miss the old carefree ways but that too is part of life. The mix is good I feel privileged to take part in it. (hugs to all)

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  • avatar

    Daisy April 25, 2012, 12:42 pm

    I demand to know more about who’s Jewish and who’s going on vacation!

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    • fast eddie

      fast eddie April 25, 2012, 6:45 pm

      The pope’s Jewish and congress is on vacation.
      Are you happy now?

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  • avatar

    Francine April 25, 2012, 3:52 pm

    Wow.

    I have to admit, I just skim over the personal stuff (No offense, Wendy but your personal life is not as juicy as the lives of the people who write to you for advice). However, I would miss that stuff if it wasn’t there. It makes DW more than just another bland advice column. And it’s a bonus that not only do we get to read her great advice but in getting to know her a bit we can get a feel for what her perspective is.

    I don’t get the “hard to navigate” comment. Can’t imagine what that LW is having a hard time finding.

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  • avatar

    Francine April 25, 2012, 5:23 pm

    I get it though. That whole “It’s About To Be Impersonal” probably threw him off. Oh wait…nevermind.

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  • fast eddie

    fast eddie April 25, 2012, 6:53 pm

    What we need to keep ourselves entertained is a nice juicy sex drama with explicit intimate details. John Edwards, Paris Hilton and hundreds of other are already doing that, so we’ll just have to settle for somebody’s hurt feelings and in-laws from hell. Frankly I’m glad to hear about Jackson’s development. It’s a wonderful reprieve from all the negatives that CNN thrives on.

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  • avatar

    Carolyn April 26, 2012, 10:09 pm

    Though the letter is extremely rude, I do find myself agreeing with the general point. I wish this site were less like a diary and had more “Your Turns”, straight Wendy advice, etc. But then Wendy is free to make the site what she wants.

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  • avatar

    brandy April 28, 2012, 1:53 pm

    Hi Wendy – I just wanted to say that I love your site, especially since you moved off of the Frisky and now we hear more about Jackson. I’m thinking of having a baby in a few years, and being able to learn about what you went through with Jackson – ie, it’s not all rainbows and baby giggles, but they’re awesome anyway- is really reassuring and informative. Keep up the great work!

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  • avatar

    AmitR May 1, 2012, 2:37 pm

    I did not get Wendy’s dig at Sarah Palin’s speechwriter. Or was it a dig at Sarah Palin? From what I have seen of her, Palin would never criticize anybody’s kids.

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  • avatar

    K4d May 2, 2012, 8:01 am

    I loved Wendy´s response! So funny. This man made no sense, is a sad representation of someone with an MBA, and his “Palinisms” made me laugh out loud. Wendy, you´re doing a fantastic job and your baby is wonderful. I would imagine that most of your readers are interested in how your personal life and experiences contribute to the messages you put out there, and I believe that “redacted” must be a pretty sad fellow to be so offended by the happiness you are experiencing and sharing. Keep on keeping on. We like it.

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