Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Google Search Questions, Vol. 1

I’m always amused by the different questions people type into their Google browser to end up at my site, so much so that I’ve decided to create a new feature in which I address some of those very questions. Check out what’s on the minds of inquiring people this week, after the jump.

1. “Can I date someone who doesn’t like food?”

Sure, as long as you remember to change her oil regularly and don’t let her over-heat.

2. “What do you need to create a fake Facebook profile?”

A total and utter lack of shame.

3. “Why does my girlfriend like porn?

To see what she’s missing.

4. “Can the bachelor have sex during the show?”

Why do you think they call it the fantasy suite?

5. “What do they do in the fantasy suite?”

See above.

6. “Do I tell his wife I’m the other woman?”

If you’re so concerned about her, you probably shouldn’t be sleeping with her husband.

7. “Is a fake boyfriend a bad idea?”

Depends on how good his fake backrubs and fake gourmet dinners are.

8. “Should I marry Chris?”

Answer inconclusive. Ask again later.

16 comments… add one
  • avatar

    rainbow March 7, 2011, 3:05 pm

    ROTFL. oh god.

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  • avatar

    Desiree March 7, 2011, 3:10 pm

    Hilarious.

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  • avatar

    MissDre March 7, 2011, 3:12 pm

    I wonder what this says about search engine optimization… LOL!

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  • avatar

    RoyalEagle0408 March 7, 2011, 3:29 pm

    Great answers. 1 and 8 are my favorites.

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  • avatar

    Jessica March 7, 2011, 3:41 pm

    hahahaha.. nice. “should I marry chris?” lol… wow.

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  • avatar

    silvii March 7, 2011, 3:46 pm

    I had to google #1 because it was funny and the first result that came up was your website – about the post on bland/boring food preferences.

    I’m stumped to think who doesn’t like food.

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  • jammy

    jessielou March 7, 2011, 4:10 pm

    sounds like poor Chris isn’t going to get his answer any time soon…

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  • Firegirl32

    Firegirl32 March 7, 2011, 5:03 pm

    You totally crack me up. Too funny!

    Reply Link
  • sobriquet

    sobriquet March 7, 2011, 5:12 pm

    Awesome. My search history is totally embarrassing. It’s mostly just lots of Google searches for “define: [word I should definitely know the definition of]”

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  • avatar

    Judi March 7, 2011, 8:15 pm

    It’s Google people, not a Magic Eight Ball or Ouija Board (which are obviously reliable sources).

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    • avatar

      HmC March 7, 2011, 8:40 pm

      It’s amazing how many people still truly and genuinely do not comprehend how a search engine functions. They literally ask it questions as if they are asking a psychic questions. I’m embarrassed for them.

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  • avatar

    LennyBee March 7, 2011, 8:19 pm

    As always, fabulous advice! Hilarious!

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  • avatar

    Caris March 8, 2011, 3:37 am

    lol

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  • avatar

    _jsw_ March 8, 2011, 10:44 am

    I can see now that I’m going to have to start burying random things in my comments for Google to find so I can later ask really bizarre questions that will show up here.

    I’ll do that later, though. For now, I’ll get back to my code to draw the Mandlebrot set. Then, later, I’ll learn to balance an egg on my nose while wearing the most affordable tuxedo I can find for a wedding I’ll be attending. Then I might do some research to determine if men who wear purple inflatable ducks on their heads are more loyal as boyfriends. Just because I’ve always wondered. But hey, I’m probably just rambling here. Which makes me wonder: does lack of sex cause people to slowly go insane and start to visit sites about playing the cello?

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  • avatar

    anna728 March 14, 2011, 1:51 am

    Haha these were great!
    I wonder what the last one was expecting to find?

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