Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Google Search Questions, Vol. II

I’m always amused by the different questions people type into their Google browser to end up at my site, so much so that I’ve decided to create a new feature in which I address some of those very questions. Check out what’s on the minds of inquiring people this week, after the jump.


1. If he hasn’t proposed after five years, should I break up with him?

If he knows you want to get married, but isn’t interested in being your husband, then, yes, should MOA!

2. How do I get engaged on Facebook without notifying all my friends?

Well, Facebook doesn’t seem like a very romantic place to get engaged. I’d suggest somewhere a little more private with better lighting, like a nice restaurant. Or a zoo.

3. Why don’t I want to announce my boyfriend on Facebook?

Because it’s a pretty corny thing to do. Better to just invite your friends out for drinks to meet the new guy, don’t you think?

4. Why doesn’t my boyfriend talk to me on the weekends?

I blame ESPN. Or maybe that secret family of his that takes up so much of his time.

5. Why are women with cats single?

Because.

6. Should I send flowers to myself to make my ex jealous?

Forget flowers; if you really want to make your ex jealous, get a tattoo of James Franco on your bicep and the next time you see your ex, say, “Hey, you wanna meet the guy who took your place?” And then roll up your sleeve, flex you arm, and rotate your wrist to make Franco dance.

7. Is it weird that my boyfriend ties his condoms?

If he ties them while he’s still wearing them, then yes.

8. Which love should I choose?

The one who makes your heart sing.

9. Why do men pursue pretty women?

You know what they always say: pretty woman, pretty sock drawer.

10. Do you have to kiss a guy to see if there’s chemistry?

I’m of the mind that if there’s true chemistry, you should be able to tell by the electricity between you — even without touching. But people have certainly benefited from giving someone the ol’ kiss test before ruling out him or her, so if you think there could be some potential and you’re attracted enough to lean in for a kiss, I say go for it.

29 comments… add one
  • avatar

    sweetleaf March 29, 2011, 12:12 pm

    Hey Wendy, remember on your blog when you suggested a dating game where you ‘set-up’ readers based on what city we’re in and what we’re into? Let’s do that! For fun, of course!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    RoyalEagle0408 March 29, 2011, 12:35 pm

    These are even better than Volume I.

    Reply Link
  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom March 29, 2011, 12:50 pm

    These make me laugh but they’re also sadly pathetic.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Desiree March 29, 2011, 1:01 pm

    “Why do men pursue pretty women?” Really?!? These people need to step away from the computer and find something better to do.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    SGMcG March 29, 2011, 1:39 pm

    Re: Question #7 – It’s not so much weird, but it is an extremely polite thing to do after the deed is done. Heaven forbid the contents of the condom spill into your unlined bedside trash can, or worse yet, on your fingers as you’re emptying the trash. Yuck.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      sweetleaf March 29, 2011, 2:08 pm

      The last guy I was seeing tied it up when we were done and flushed it down my toilet! I was like, “what the hell, buddy?! That’s gonna clog my pipes up!” Why would he do that?!

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        sarolabelle March 29, 2011, 2:31 pm

        because he knows less about toilets than you do.

        Link
      • avatar

        SGMcG March 29, 2011, 2:37 pm

        He flushed it?!? Well that negates the politeness of tying it up. It’s bad enough having to call a plumber for flushing down a tampon that turns out not to be so flushable – now we have to explain the latex too!

        If he wanted to leave no sperm behind, he should have 1. tied the condom up so nothing leaks 2. folded the condom in a tissue or napkin and 3. taken the used condom (and the wrapper!) with him out the door. Bonus points, he could also offer to take out the trash that’s carrying the condom he just used.

        I swear, Emily Post should write on after-sex etiquette in our modern times.

        Link
      • avatar

        fallonthecity March 29, 2011, 2:40 pm

        Wow, really? Now I feel even more sorry for people who work at water treatment plants…

        Link
    • avatar

      sarolabelle March 29, 2011, 2:33 pm

      seriously if someone is afraid of a little on their fingers then I doubt that person will ever be ready for it inside of them.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        sweetleaf March 29, 2011, 3:42 pm

        Well, he was a foreigner. Maybe that’s how they dispose in Baghdad!

        Link
  • avatar

    ArtsyGirl March 29, 2011, 2:51 pm

    #5 Has anyone seen the BBC comedy video titled “Single White Feline” where the woman with the cat sabotages all of her relationships? I think it was posted to TF a little while ago, but totally worth watching if you missed it!

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      maynard March 29, 2011, 3:01 pm

      The link here takes you to that video on dear wendy.. you just have to scroll down

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        ArtsyGirly March 29, 2011, 6:57 pm

        ahh thanks missed it earlier because I was on my blackberry!

        Link
  • avatar

    Katrina March 29, 2011, 3:14 pm

    “Pretty woman, pretty sock drawer”? That has me in stitches – is that a real saying, Wendy?

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    BoomChakaLaka March 29, 2011, 5:04 pm

    For #2, I thought the question-asker (?) wanted to know how to update their status to being engaged w/o letting their friends know. In that case, set your relationship status view to “Only Me.”

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      SpyGlassez March 29, 2011, 6:27 pm

      For those times when he/she just can’t remember otherwise? 😀

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Maracuya March 29, 2011, 6:37 pm

      I think they meant without notifying everyone in their news feed, but still having it visible on their profile.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Maracuya March 29, 2011, 6:40 pm

        In which case I didn’t answer the question. I don’t think there’s a way to do that. Why wouldn’t you want people to know ?

        Link
      • avatar

        belongsomewhere March 29, 2011, 10:09 pm

        You can delete the story from your feed on your page by hitting that little “X”, which should also delete it from the main feed. I understand the desire to have it on Facebook without the fanfare of “announcing” it to everyone–all that attention from random cousins and people I haven’t spoken to in years makes some people (like me!!) really uncomfortable.

        Link
  • avatar

    anna728 March 30, 2011, 12:53 am

    How odd that people type such big questions as “Which love should I choose?” into Google.

    Reply Link
    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom March 30, 2011, 8:07 am

      I’m tempted to type some of these into Google just to see what comes up just to see what people get out of these searches.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    jessicaxmx March 30, 2011, 1:56 am

    How are you able to see what people type in their search to go to your site? I’m just curious I’m not real website savvy.

    Reply Link
    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy March 30, 2011, 7:55 am

      Any stats tracker will show it. I use Google Analytics to track my stats and can see literally thousands of search engine terms bring people to the site.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    ladiejoy March 30, 2011, 10:00 am

    I have honestly never heard of a guy tying up his condoms… :confusedface:

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      _jsw_ March 30, 2011, 10:56 am

      Typically it’s something done before spanking or other such behavior.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        ladiejoy March 30, 2011, 11:04 am

        So… by spanking you mean as in – your monkey? 😉
        (side note now I’m thinking of spanking, dammit)
        If so… how does one tie up a condom _before_ said spanking, and what would be the point? I think I need a blow by blow of this behavior. Start blowing, _jsw_.

        Link
      • avatar

        _jsw_ March 30, 2011, 11:42 am

        I think you’ll need to contact me privately for that. There are children who read this site.

        Maybe.

        Link

Leave a Comment