I’m always amused by the different questions people type into their Google browser to end up at my site, so much so that I created a feature in which I address some of those very questions. After the jump, check out what’s on the minds of inquiring people this month, including the difference between being on a break and being broken up (hint: there isn’t one).
1. Are we on a break or broken up?
2. What am I forgetting to pack?
You never want to be caught in the rain unprotected, that’s what I always say.
3. Are all women in love with their gay best friend?
Only if their gay best friend is Anderson Cooper.
4. Am I supposed to change my OKCupid status after a date?
It’s not Facebook — there’s no need to update your status every time you fart.
5. Am I his baby sister?
6. Does cauliflower make you poop?
Not exactly, but it does make you gassy. Or, it makes me gassy, anyway.
7. What did you like most about college?
Not the all-you-can eat cauliflower in the dining hall. Probably sleeping in until nine every day, having Fridays off, Ricki Lake marathons in my dorm room, Spring Break (during which I stayed home, ate tons of mac-n-cheese, and watched movies at the mall), eating two breakfasts a day (one at 2 AM after a night of drinking, and then another at 11 AM after sleeping off the booze), and getting away with wearing overalls (or maybe that’s more about missing the 90s?).
8. Can I bring my fiancé to my ex-mother-in-law’s funeral?
Insensitive, do not recommend.
10. Is he really too busy to text?
9. What can I do not to pick up his call?
Play your music so loud you don’t hear the phone ring. Write 100 things you dislike about him, your relationship, and the way he treated you. Take a bath instead. Block his calls. Paint your nails. Call a friend. Go to the movies and turn off your phone. Have a living room dance-a-thon. Readers, what else?