I’m always amused by the different questions people type into their Google browser to end up at my site, so much so that I created a feature in which I address some of those very questions. After the jump, check out what’s on the minds of inquiring people this month, including whether I’m carrying my cat’s love child.
1. Why am I always the other woman?
Because you keep going after unavailable men. Find another way to get your kicks and the validation you desperately seek, like volunteer work or surf camp in Costa Rica.
2. Is Wendy having Myles the cat’s love child?
Actually, it’s spelled Miles, with an “i.” And, no.
3. If I ask a ridiculous Google question will it lead me to Dear Wendy?
4. How do I tell my roommate that he’s gay?
Hmm. Shouldn’t he be the one telling you he’s gay? Or not. I mean, who cares? And why do you think it’s any of your business anyway?
5. How long can you stay in the bath?
If I’ve got a good book, a glass of wine, and enough hot water to fill the tub up a couple of times, I can probably stay in there a good hour and fifteen minutes.
6. Can I get pregnant if I have a 3sum?
If you spell it that way, definitely.
7. How can a man protect his wandering eye?
Visine and an eye patch.
8. What is a typical modern date?
Dude asks the woman out by text a couple days in advance. Girl says “yes” and then goes to H&M to find a new outfit or a scarf to jazz up an older one. On the day of the date, dude showers and throws on some jeans and a dark graphic T and maybe a sharp jacket. The chick spends a couple of hours bathing, shaving, plucking, teasing, powdering, highlighting, lip-lining and so on. Decides she has nothing to wear even though she bought a new outfit at H&M. Has mini-meltdown and considers canceling the date. Re-considers and decides the new outfit will have to do. Texts the guy and says she’ll be ten minutes late.
Guy and Girl meet up at a trendy tapas joint and talk about bands they like, what they usually buy at Trader Joe’s, and how many of their friends are laid-off. At the end of the date, the girl reaches for her wallet, but the guy says it’s on him. They go to a bar afterward where one of them knows the bartender and drink too much. Then they hook up. They go out once more and then spend the next three months passively flirting with each other on Facebook, occasionally drunk texting one another, and never again speaking in person.
9. Is it normal to be sexually attracted to numbers?
Just look at the figure 9 and you tell me.
10. Does anyone have a problem with their boyfriend watching porn?
If my in-box is any indication, then Yes, with a capital Y.