Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Google Search Questions, Vol. VII: “Does Everyone Eventually Get a Broken Heart?”

I’m always amused by the different questions people type into their Google browser to end up at my site, so much so that I created a feature in which I address some of those very questions. After the jump, check out what’s on the minds of inquiring people this month, including whether everyone eventually gets a broken heart.

 

 

1. Why does my boyfriend’s breath gross me out while I’m pregnant?

Too much garlic?

2. Why won’t my boyfriend eat dinner at my house?

Too much garlic?

3. Should I believe the psychic who said I was having a boy but the ultrasound said girl?

Yes, definitely. Blue up that room.

4. Why does he come over without condoms?

Three possible reasons:

1) He doesn’t plan to have sex with you.

2) He forgot.

3) He expects you to have condoms since it’s your place and all.

5. Who died and left my FWB the moral police?

I guess the benefits have run out, huh?

6. What if he says he doesn’t think he can be faithful?

Believe him.

7. Do you think my boyfriend’s relationship with his sister is strange?

Yes.

8. Does everyone eventually get a broken heart?

Anyone who makes it to adulthood eventually suffers a broken heart in one way or another, yes.

9. Would I feel this way if I weren’t a psychotherapist?

Depends on whether you’d still have the pill hookup.

10. I wrote to Dear Wendy and didn’t like the response.

That’s not a question!

6 comments… add one
  • avatar

    bethany November 11, 2011, 2:19 pm

    #10 is classic!

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest November 11, 2011, 2:40 pm

      I wonder if Google shows a count of how many wrote that “question.”

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  • avatar

    AKchic November 11, 2011, 2:31 pm

    1. Why does my boyfriend’s breath gross me out while I’m pregnant?
    1A – To punish you for not swallowing in the first place.

    2. Why won’t my boyfriend eat dinner at my house?
    2A – He doesn’t want to get food poisoning.

    3. Should I believe the psychic who said I was having a boy but the ultrasound said girl?
    3A – The penis was hiding in the vagina. You’re having a hermaphrodite!

    4. Why does he come over without condoms?
    4A – Do you have condoms? Yes – then just use those. No – don’t have sex. Problem solved.

    5. Who died and left my FWB the moral police?
    5A – My great-aunt Ester. It was in her will and everything. Didn’t you get the notice?

    6. What if he says he doesn’t think he can be faithful?
    6A – It’s a test.

    7. Do you think my boyfriend’s relationship with his sister is strange?
    7A – Not at all. All siblings from the planet Gagrak have incestuous relationships.

    8. Does everyone eventually get a broken heart?
    8A – In one way or another.

    9. Would I feel this way if I weren’t a psychotherapist?
    9A – Yes. Physically, you would still feel the same.

    10. I wrote to Dear Wendy and didn’t like the response.
    10A – Too bad.

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  • avatar

    Carolynasaurus November 11, 2011, 3:10 pm

    #10 had to be the update from yesterday. Or anyone else who basically got a three letter response: MOA.

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    • avatar

      DDL November 12, 2011, 8:37 am

      I just wonder why you’d google that… is there a “I hate the response to my DearWendy letter” forum?

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy November 12, 2011, 8:49 am

      Yeah, I guess I should really give them a refund. Oh, wait.

      Reply Link

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