Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Happy MLK Day

Happy MLK Day! Hopefully, most of you, or at least many of you, have the day off and are enjoying the first long weekend of the year. Drew had to work today, but he’s taking a Monday off two weeks from today and we’re going to spend a night at a swanky inn upstate, just the two of us, so I can’t complain. Jackson’s sitter opted to save her vacation time and is also working today, so I am using the morning to catch up and get ahead. Maybe I’ll even manage to write all of this week’s columns today, which would be nice. I’m also going to read through some submissions, and write down a few thoughts on The Fault of Our Stars for our book club discussion, since I finished it yesterday. (Last night, I started reading Wonder Boys, which I hope to complete before we start our next book club book).

I won’t be posting a new column today, but I did post a couple letters in the forums you can check out. And tonight I’ll be doing a live chat of “The Bachelor” in the forums. Speaking of: what do you guys think of the Juan Pablo controversy where he called gays “perverts”? And speaking of controversy, what about Jezebel paying 10 grand for unphotoshopped pics of Lena Dunham’s Vogue shoot? Pathetic, is what I think. For a feminist blog, Jezebel is such a Mean Girl. Always has been. Also, for those of you who love football, this sentence is for you.

200 comments… add one
  • avatar

    bethany January 20, 2014, 9:39 am

    I’m at work today 🙁 The train and parking lot were nice and empty though, so I can’t complain too much. Hopefully it’ll be quiet at work, too, because I’ve got a ton to do!
    We’re going to Vermont for a ski trip with some friends Weds-Saturday, so I’ve got to make sure I’m all caught up before I go.

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  • avatar

    TECH January 20, 2014, 9:42 am

    Wow, Wendy, you and Drew give Jackson’s sitter vacation time? That seems very generous. Or is it standard to do that in your area?

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy January 20, 2014, 12:14 pm

      I think it’s probably pretty standard. If not, it should be! Nannies work hard and without paid vacation time, they probably would never take break. No break = burnout, and you don’t want someone who’s unhappy, tired, and burned out watching your child.

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      • mandalee

        mandalee January 20, 2014, 1:42 pm

        Yes, so true Wendy! As a nanny, my family gives me two weeks paid vacation plus any additional paid snow days/vacation days/etc they decide to take besides the big holidays. I’m full-time and as much as I love their kids, if I didn’t have a paid day off once in awhile, I’d probably going insane. It’s hard to justify taking off a day unpaid.

        The family I work for is super generous both with pay/bonuses/time off, but paid vacation is definitely standard to some degree if you are regularly scheduled/full-time where I live (metro Boston).

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy January 20, 2014, 1:52 pm

        That’s very generous.

        Our nanny only works for us 12 hours a week (three mornings), so I give her 9 days paid vacation (“day” meaning four hours, since that is her normal shift with us), 2 personal days and 2 sick days. She can use the days whenever she wants and whatever she does;t use, I pay her the cash equivalent at the end of the year (in addition to a holiday bonus). She works for another family is who very generous with her, so I think she’s pretty happy. (FWIW, she’s a grandmother and has been a nanny for like thirty years. She treats Jackson like a grandson, which is really sweet).

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      • avatar

        bethany January 20, 2014, 2:03 pm

        That’s great, Wendy. I used to actually do recruiting for a Nanny agency in the Philly area, and those sort of benefits are pretty much unheard of for someone PT around here. I’m impressed 🙂

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      • mandalee

        mandalee January 20, 2014, 9:39 pm

        That’s so nice of you and when I worked part-time, my time off definitely was given accordingly. It’s also awesome that you have a nanny with so much experience! Jackson is so lucky!

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  • GatorGirl

    GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 9:42 am

    I’m at work today 🙁 And it’s started with a freak out about money (as most Monday mornings do for my boss). So yay. I did make a fantastic quiche last night that brightened up my morning.

    Also, I loved the Richard Sherman rant. He made a fantastic play and Crabtree is a punk.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 10:00 am

      That Sherman rant was all Peter wanted to talk about last night. He hated it and thought it made him not only look really bad, but possibly lose $ from potential future endorsements. Interesting how different your opinion is!

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 10:09 am

        I hardly even think it was a rant. It was just an excited jumble of words by a guy who literally just made the game winning play. Like 4 minutes before he WON the game for his team to go to the Super Bowl!! Amazing!! I would be shouting how awesome I was too! He didn’t say anything meal or cruel or swear or anything. Honestly, I bet he’ll make more money because of all of the publicity.

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      • Lindsay

        Lindsay January 20, 2014, 10:39 am

        I was actually surprised that everyone got so “offended” by it. I thought people would mostly be amused, but everyone I know is uniting into some Team Peyton thing now. I guess I didn’t realize that people thought athletes were THAT classy to begin with.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 10:27 am

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 10:35 am

        You know I’m not really into football at all, so I’m not familiar with Sherman or his issues with Crabtree. Just seemed trashy and lame. Cool, your team just won. Maybe celebrate with your TEAM who helped you win, not be the biggest sore winner in history.
        If I followed this rivalry, maybe I’d agree with you more?

        This quote – Crabtree then avoided a follow-up question about Sherman to say, “you have to study the whole defense, it’s not one guy,” which, in context of the first question, probably made Sherman even madder. – I agree with. Get over yourself Sherman. (Peter would be laughing if he knew I was debating football.)

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 10:38 am

        Hahaha. Also, they are contractually obligated to speak with reporters post game (either on the field or at the press conference after the game), so he didn’t really have a choice about it. Sure he could have picked better words, but it is refreshing to see someone speak with passion and not the usual scripted BS we’re fed.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 10:45 am

        Yea, I know they have to speak to the reporters, but I don’t think its BS when a player comments on how the whole team won a game, rather than one guy thinking he’s the only reason they won. Idk. I feel like I’m talking to Lil and saying there is no “I” in “team.” Haha.
        I did laugh at Lindsay’s point though, because its true. I never thought football players were classy to begin with, so I shouldn’t be surprised they are all egomaniacs.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 10:53 am

        I mean I agree, it IS a team effort and 99.9% of the time everyone is super conscious about that. But in this case it was a single person who made the game winning play…so I feel like he is justified. I can’t find a video of the play, but it was either the 49ers score a game winning touchdown, or Sherman batting the ball away.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 10:55 am

        Peter showed me the video, but I couldn’t follow it to be honest. I’m glad you got some excitement out of it though. If something like that happened on HGTV, I’m sure I’d be excited haha.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 11:04 am

        I get just as excited about HGTV too! Basically, I think it boils down to he was expressing raw, uncensored emotions post game. Maybe he didn’t do it in the most polite way, but he wasn’t cruel either. So I’m cool with it.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 11:09 am

        I bated you with the comment about hgtv, haha. I got to BE hgtv this weekend! I surprised painted my girlfriend’s house. So exciting.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 11:13 am

        Ohhhh that sounds fun! We hung curtain rods and bathroom shelves before yelling at the tv about football, haha.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 11:18 am

        haha, nice!

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      • Lindsay

        Lindsay January 20, 2014, 10:52 am

        What was funny was that my roommate had just finished yelling at him on the TV when he started his rant. I looked at her, and she had a shocked look on her face, as though she couldn’t figure out if he was yelling back at her or not.

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark January 20, 2014, 12:16 pm

        Really? SOME people THINK what Sherman said was awesome? Fucking amazing. Its THIS kind of obnoxious arrogance and megalomania that makes nonfans like me think football is not only played but a bunch of classless dumb jocks — but watched by them as well.

        Just tacky. Classless. Beyond juvenile. Toddlerish ever.

        Grow the fuck up, America. Your idols simply make you all look fucking stupid.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 12:53 pm

        I never said he was an idol…goodness.

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark January 20, 2014, 1:12 pm

        No, but the fact that you ‘ve now defended him in well over a dozen posts says otherwise. 😉

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 1:16 pm

        I completely disagree. I’m not even a Seahawks fan! It’s just refreshing to me to see a player speak with passion. Goodness, you can’t have an opinion about something/someone with out suddenly idolizing them?

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 1:22 pm

        Its funny you of all people are defending him. The comments just screams rude/classless/tacky to me and you are usually the first to call that behavior out.

        I could see saying ‘it was tacky and rude, but i loved it anyway’ Its surprising you disagree that its rude/classless/tacky. I would’ve put money on you thinking otherwise.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 1:29 pm

        He was a little rude, and I’ve said I think he could have/should have picked better words…but honestly I would rather someone be passionate. He didn’t say anything mean, IMO. He said facts, in a loud aggressive way…which is part of his on field persona. IDK, I think the whole thing is being completely blown out of proportion.

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      • meadowphoenix

        meadowphoenix January 20, 2014, 5:00 pm

        Well, as for whether he’s a dumb jock, he got a degree from Stanford and was salutatorian of his high school class. Considering the logical leaps and tone of bitterness and anger you use here, I don’t think you should be calling anyone a dumb jock or talk about obnoxious arrogance.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow January 20, 2014, 10:39 am

        OK, I just watched it. It was bizarre…and stupid. Maybe it’s just because I don’t care about sports…? I just think he sounds like a cocky idiot…..which I kind of expect from professional sports players?

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 10:47 am

        OMG, I’m so pumped Wendy posted about football! I’m such a nerd for it.

        He did sound like a cocky idiot, but he backed it up on the field. IDK, I appreciate the passion. It’s so much more fun to watch then say Peyton Manning calming saying some preplanned script.

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      • katie

        katie January 20, 2014, 11:42 am

        “But he backed it up on the field” —oh god I can’t tell you how much I hate that phrase! Not from you specifically or anything, I just absolutely hate that mentality in sports.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 11:45 am

        Why? It’s the same as saying your the best chef and actually making the best food. Or the best doctor and creating revolutionary new practices.

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      • katie

        Katie January 20, 2014, 12:52 pm

        Oh trust me those chefs are assholes too!

        It’s just the inherent cockiness… That is never a good thing. It’s never attractive. And, like I said, I get that he was all excited and everything- but instead of being positive he went on some rant about how much the other guy sucks and how amazing he is. That’s not cute. It’s immature, egotistical, good ol’ boy nonsense.

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      • katie

        katie January 20, 2014, 11:40 am

        Yea. This is just like every “jock” in the history of forever, beating his chest and showing everyone how big his penis is.

        It’s gross. I get that he just won the game, and I’m not saying that they all should just read boring politically correct scripts- but this guy is just an asshole.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 11:44 am

        Really? Don’t you think that is a bit of an extreme reaction? An asshole? Because he was forced on camera and gave an overly excited, poorly worded reaction…

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 11:51 am

        I think someone who takes credit for winning a game when the entire game was what, 4 hours, but his play was in the last few seconds is an asshole. I could agree with that. If I were on his team, I definitely think he was an asshole.

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      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed January 20, 2014, 11:52 am

        I mean though…they very easily could have lost if it weren’t for his play…

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 11:53 am

        But they very easily could’ve lost the previous 3 quarters if not for ALL the other players on the team too.

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      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed January 20, 2014, 11:54 am

        Yeah…but his play was game changing. It had to happen for them to win. It’s not saying that the other people didn’t kick ass the rest of the game, but without his play, they would have been fucked.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 11:56 am

        I think its so funny I’m debating a sport I have so little interest in!
        I get your point, but I still don’t think one player on a team can take credit for winning an entire game because of one play during it. I wonder if his teammates thought it was a dick move to say that.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 12:00 pm

        Exactly. And quarterbacks are given all the glory regularly…

        Also, it’s interesting to note- Crabtree shoved Sherman in the face as they walked away from the play. So there is that.

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      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid January 20, 2014, 2:00 pm

        Also, the rest of the game the Seahawks did not kick ass. It was pretty dismal out there, and I’m a long, long term Seahawks fan. It looked vaguely 1996ish out there for most of the game. That scramble in the endzone was the game winner.

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      • meadowphoenix

        meadowphoenix January 20, 2014, 5:06 pm

        Well, if anyone should be getting the glory in that game, it should be the refs, then.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 11:57 am

        Well, there are 60 minutes of play in a game. So there is that. And he didn’t say he was the ONLY reason they won the game, just that he is a better player than the guy he beat…so

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 12:00 pm

        Isn’t that the definition of being a sore winner though?

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 12:04 pm

        Not in my opinion. He was asked specifically about the final play he was involved in…is he going to say it was a team effort when asked very specifically about ONE play where only he and 3 other people where involved? No, he’s going to talk about what he did in that specific play…like he was asked.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 12:06 pm

        But he didn’t talk about his play at all! She asked for a breakdown of the play and all he said basically was that he was the best and the other guy sucks and then some weird thing about LOB, whatever that is.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 12:11 pm

        LOB is the Legion of Boom, which is a nickname for Seattle’s defense.

        She asked him what was going through his mind…that’s what was. I mean I can’t hate on him for being honest. He was thinking how he was better than the other guy. He is.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 12:20 pm

        No, that’s not what she asked. She asked him to take her through the final play. He never even addressed the final play.
        If she’s asked what’s going through his mind, then I would agree he was honest.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 1:29 pm

        Sometimes I feel like my life is a legion of boom.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 12:43 pm

      I absolutely love football and that guy is a douchecanoe. Zero class. I love the players who immediately praise the other team and say they did a great job, they were great competitiors, etc. He’s gross. You’re one fucking player homeboy. One player. If it wasn’t for the rest of your team you wouldn’t have even had the change to make the “game winning” play. Thank your team for giving you that opportunity.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 12:45 pm

        I also don’t think 1 play determines whether you are a better player than your opponent.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 12:50 pm

        He does- “It was loud, it was in the moment, and it was just a small part of the person I am. I don’t want to be a villain, because I’m not a villainous person. When I say I’m the best cornerback in football, it’s with a caveat: There isn’t a great defensive backfield in the NFL that doesn’t have a great front seven. ”

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 12:53 pm

        Do his stats confirm he’s currently the best compared to the stats of all the other cornerbacks?

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 12:57 pm

        Yes, as far as I can find/tell.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 12:53 pm

        Also, now that I’m apparently picking on you, Peyton isn’t scripted, he actually just is that classy. I know it’s hard to believe. But you NEVER hear about him doing anything bad ever. His family lives in Denver and you never see or hear anything about them because they’re extremely private people. Every year he sponsors all these great camps for kids and he’s honestly just the classiest. I wasn’t happy he was coming to Denver because I kind of secretly loved tebow. Which I know is embarrassing. But I tried to hate Peyton, but you just can’t. Everything that guy does is humble with a boat load of work ethic. Players on his team constantly talk about how hard working he is and how he will be the first one there reviewing tape and the last one there at the end of the day.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 12:55 pm

        I don’t think your “picking on me”. You have a different opinion. I didn’t take that first post personal at all. Peyton is a nice guy, but his interviews are boring.

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      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid January 20, 2014, 1:10 pm

        Petyon is a nice guy (true story, I’ve met him. Whatever. I drop names.) but Sherman is very similar in Seattle. Off season he’s a good, quiet, dedicated member of the community. And Peyton is definitely scripted—but that’s ok. It’s good media management and part of the identity he wants to build as an athlete/entertainer

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 1:15 pm

        Okay even assuming he is scripted (which I don’t believe) I would rather someone as a public sports figure always say the right things, and be a good role model, even if they’re scripted. These people are huge role models, they should use that power wisely.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 1:19 pm

        People do occasionally make mistakes.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 1:21 pm

        And that’s totally fine! But then everyone needs to admit he made a mistake, and he’s a douchecanoe, and not just “passionate”

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 1:23 pm

        haha

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 1:27 pm

        Well, I did say a while back that I thought he could have picked better words. It was the heat of the moment, people say all kinds of bonkers things in the heat of a moment. They aren’t always the best things, and I think it’s unfair for people to judge him based on ONE comment. (and yeah, what NM said about the weird racial tones that are happening on other sites. yuck.)

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 1:30 pm

        So you agree it wasn’t a good rant after all?

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 1:35 pm

        I agree that he could have made better word choices, but I have no issue with his overall point that he is a better player.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 1:30 pm

        At least we can all agree that everytime Tom Brady loses an angel gets his wings.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 1:36 pm

        Yes, we can all agree on that! 😀

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      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid January 20, 2014, 2:04 pm

        I don’t know iwanna. I think Brady deserves a lot of credit as a consistently excellent quarter back who plays the game with a machine-like elegan…….no. I’m just kidding. I was just trying to be classy. Brady is the worst.

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      • Guy Friday

        Guy Friday January 20, 2014, 2:24 pm

        I hate you all.

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      • meadowphoenix

        meadowphoenix January 20, 2014, 5:08 pm

        You mean except for whatever he got in trouble for at UTenn right?

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 5:13 pm

        Unless there’s something else, I just googled to see what you are talking about and apparently in seventeen years ago he got in trouble for mooning someone in college. Haha. Wouldn’t call that too scandalous.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 21, 2014, 9:01 am

        I can’t find any Peyton controversy other than the mooning too (I think Eli got in some trouble though). But Sherman’s never been in any REAL controversy either. Sure he trash talks on field, but he’s never been arrested, graduated 2nd in his class from high school, went to freaking Stanford, has a non profit to benefit children…compared to a heck of a lot of football players Sherman is a saint.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 21, 2014, 9:17 am

        The more I thought about this, it really sucks that this guy did all that but now all anyone will remember him for his some dumb rant. I guess its a lesson. 1 bad thing will overshadow 10 good.

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      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid January 20, 2014, 1:07 pm

        Oh you guys. Sherman isn’t a douche canoe. He’s a blowhard and talks a lot of smack (it’s not my favorite “persona”—but some fans get into that stuff). He’s a really great member of the community in Seattle. His charitable foundation provides school supplies and and clothes for poor kids in Seattle, volunteers with youth football. He’s really not a bad guy. He had a spectaculalry bad interview–and he apologized this morning, saying, “It was loud, it was in the moment, and it was just a small part of the person I am. I don’t want to be a villain, because I’m not a villainous person. When I say I’m the best cornerback in football, it’s with a caveat: There isn’t a great defensive backfield in the NFL that doesn’t have a great front seven. Everything begins with pressure up front, and that’s what we get from our pass rushers every Sunday. To those who would call me a thug or worse because I show passion on a football field—don’t judge a person’s character by what they do between the lines. Judge a man by what he does off the field, what he does for his community, what he does for his family.”

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      • katie

        katie January 20, 2014, 1:13 pm

        I’m glad that this was just a one off thing for him (I actually don’t believe it was, but I’ll believe it was a *public* one off comment), but this is just in general a huge problem in sports culture/all culture in America. Even if he didn’t “mean it” it still powers the whole machine. It was still said.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 1:14 pm

        Hmm that sounds awfully scripted 😉

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      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid January 20, 2014, 1:19 pm

        Well. He wrote it down. So yep, most definitely scripted 🙂 I guess I just think both media responses are legitimate. They are all playing characters, and really, I’m usually with Katie and LBH in that it’s not my favorite “character”—but I do have to say, and I am DEFINITELY NOT SINGLING OUT ANYONE HERE—that a lot of responses to Sherman have been so incredibly racist. The idea that a who is trained in an aggressive physical sport give an aggressive physical interview shouldn’t be a surprise to people and it certainly shouldn’t be cause to start calling him a thug or saying things like “If he wasn’t playing for the NFL he’d be in a gang”—which are just some of the comments I’ve seen floating around. Absolutely disgusting.

        Not that I am picking up on that undertone here at all. Just to make sure everyone knows.

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        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 1:25 pm

        Yea, katie showed me a collection of racist tweets aimed at him. Really disgusting.

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      • katie

        katie January 20, 2014, 4:22 pm

        Oh god yes. The article let’s referenced- disgusting. But, welcome to amuricah, where the asshole athletes are heckled with racism by more asshole sports fans. This is the machine.

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      bethany January 20, 2014, 1:12 pm

      I hate football, and don’t’ really care– BUT– I just watched it, and I kinda liked it?
      It was nice to see someone actually say what they mean instead of giving some sort of response straight out of “Media Training 101”.

      I’m sick of people not actually answering questions and just saying what they think they’re supposed to say. It was a little refreshing to hear someone mean what they say.

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      • katie

        katie January 20, 2014, 1:22 pm

        Ok, I get this- but he didn’t have to be such an asshole about it. I would have loved to see a player all excited and passionate but still positive. He wouldn’t even had to say good things about the other team! Just not be mean/negative to the other team.

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        bethany January 20, 2014, 1:30 pm

        Sure he didn’t have to be an asshole about it, but he was in the moment, saying exactly what he was thinking. Personally, I’d rather see that in an immediate post game interview than a bullshit answer. Save the thought out bullshit for Sports Center or whatever Today Show type interviews they give the next day.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 1:34 pm

        I’m so annoyed how much I’m debating this…but it is what it is.

        Pre-game he wrote a blog post where he praised the 49ers and said that they are “a very talented team”. In the letter I linked above, he condemned Seahawks fans who threw popcorn on an injured 49er. He’s said LOTS of positive stuff (about his opponents and his teammates), it just wasn’t in that tiny 20 second interview.

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      iseeshiny January 20, 2014, 1:21 pm

      I think everyone is making a bigger deal about the Sherman rant than it needs to be. Football players are paid to be aggressive and intimidating. The guy had just literally snatched victory from the jaws of defeat (seriously, that catch was beautiful, and I’m not even a football fan, the only reason I saw the game at all is my parents came over for dinner yesterday and my dad had it on) and was riding high on all kinds of adrenaline and endorphins and of course he’s going to be shouting and saying shit.

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      sarahhhh January 20, 2014, 2:39 pm

      I think that gives some interesting perspective. When I initially saw the interview I was grossed out and so was my husband, although I did say that maybe his adrenaline and testosterone or whatever was pumping and to maybe give him a little benefit of the doubt. If he is normally a nice guy with all kinds of community involvement, well then I guess ok. Everybody says stuff they shouldn’t, sometimes.

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  • avatar

    lemongrass January 20, 2014, 9:48 am

    Yesterday and today are my sleep in days but I couldn’t sleep so I let mr. Grass sleep in except this morning E was screaming at me every time I sat down, nothing wrong, just don’t get comfortable mom. So I woke up Mr. Grass, even though he has a cold, and told him to take care of E while I sit in bed and drink my coffee. No screams for him. Best behaviour for dad, of course. And oh, the mom guilt.

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 9:52 am

    I am mad at everyone who voted for that book.

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  • avatar

    TECH January 20, 2014, 9:56 am

    I’m excited for the Bachelor live blogging tonight.
    Regarding Juan Pablo’s comments about gay people, I don’t know, I guess I’ll just give him the benefit of the doubt that he has a language barrier and his comments were misconstrued. The Bachelor franchise and its contestants aren’t paragons of virtue anyway. I don’t look for them to set the bar on decent human behavior. The show is a farce. A guilty pleasure.
    Juan Pablo could say purple people live on the planet Mars and are going to invade Earth, and I would shrug my shoulders and not care.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 10:02 am

      I could give him the benefit of the doubt about the use of the word pervert since English is not his first language, mayyybe, but I can’t do the same about his comment about kids seeing it. I’d have thrown him off the show. You raise a really good point about the franchise and contestants though.

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      • avatar

        SasLinna January 20, 2014, 10:04 am

        Pervert is almost the same word in Spanish I believe.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 10:13 am

        Oh, really? Then I take that sliver of benefit of the doubt back entirely.

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      • avatar

        SasLinna January 20, 2014, 10:20 am

        “perverso” or “pervertido” – but maybe he doesn’t know the meaning of the word in either language…

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark January 20, 2014, 1:05 pm

        I’d buy that he’s functionally illiterate or even simply mentally retarded at this point…

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        TECH January 20, 2014, 10:06 am

        I think he said he doesn’t allow his daughter to see the show period. In other words, he thinks his season of the Bachelor is inappropriate for his daughter to watch. I guess that would hold true if there was a gay contestant as well. He basically said the show is inappropriate for children, period.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 10:14 am

        It sounded to me like he was saying The Bachelor is bad enough for kids to see, but Gay Bachelor would so much worse for kids to see.

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      • Lindsay

        Lindsay January 20, 2014, 10:26 am

        That’s a big stretch. They asked if there should be gay people on at all, not whether it’s appropriate for children.

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      • avatar

        lemongrass January 20, 2014, 10:07 am

        But, but, the ratings! Seriously, though way to copy abc’s stunt.

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      • Miss MJ

        Miss MJ January 20, 2014, 10:47 am

        Duck Dynasty’s ratings actually tanked. (Good!)

        http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/16/duck-dynasty-ratings_n_4611924.html

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    • Lindsay

      Lindsay January 20, 2014, 10:17 am

      Even if he didn’t know the exact definition of the word pervert, he still clearly meant something negative by it if it was his reasoning on why gay people shouldn’t be on the show.

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      • Lindsay

        Lindsay January 20, 2014, 10:48 am

        Also, he apparently “apologized.” His apology included a statement that he has a lot of gay friends and that he meant that “gay people are more affectionate and intense” because he seems to know ALL gay couples. Not to mention that surely gay people don’t have any sort of self-control that would allow them rein in their “intensity” on TV. In fact, they might just start going at it without any power to stop themselves right in front of the camera…

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      • avatar

        rachel January 20, 2014, 10:52 am

        ew.

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark January 20, 2014, 1:39 pm

        Now THAT i would watch…

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow January 20, 2014, 10:43 am

      Yeah, no…. I’m not cutting him any slack.

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      • avatar

        TECH January 20, 2014, 11:12 am

        The Bachlelor franchise has a lot of issues. Not only has there never been a gay or lesbian contestant, but there has also never been a contestant of color. To my knowledge, there has never been a contestant with a disability or handicap. Also, it’s pretty much a requirement that you are skinny. No overweight people have ever been on the show. To my knowledge there is not much religious diversity at all. Also, there’s a ton of ageism. Probably the oldest person on the show is 34. God forbid you be older.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow January 20, 2014, 11:34 am

        Oh yeah, I don’t really watch much reality TV, and I’ve never watched The Bachelor/Bachelorette. I don’t doubt his stance on The Gays is just one of many problems.

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      • avatar

        bcamber January 20, 2014, 4:16 pm

        It’s not like TV or movies are an equal opportunity venture though. What you said could be said about any TV show, most reality shows, etc.

        They tailor it to get what they think will get the most viewership. They are not going to risk losing viewers by putting someone on as the lead that is in a wheelchair, or is non-white, or is overweight, or is over 35. They have a formula that works.

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        Amber January 20, 2014, 4:18 pm

        They do have non-white contestants every season though, just not as the lead.

        And come to think of it they have had at least one woman with a disability – there was that woman in Sean’s season who only had one arm.

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  • avatar

    jlyfsh January 20, 2014, 10:00 am

    I have off today! And after my 4th dose of my antibiotic I am cautiously optimistic. I think I might be getting better! I also walked last night on the treadmill, it wasn’t awful and I could breathe ok and after I finished I thought hmm I probably could have walked longer. But, I also don’t want to push it. I’m just excited I can walk up the stairs without feeling out of breath. Or take the dogs for a walk and not feel like I might die. I have no plans today other than doing laundry and getting Mexican food for lunch 🙂

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  • avatar

    SasLinna January 20, 2014, 10:03 am

    I agree with Wendy about Lena Dunham and Jezebel. I think they expected the pictures to be much more photoshopped than they actually were.

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle January 20, 2014, 10:10 am

      I would’ve liked it if they just ate the $10k & posted an article like, “welp, they actually weren’t that bad–our mistake!” instead of getting all fake-outraged that Lena Dunham was on a different city block than she actually was. Like, come on

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        SasLinna January 20, 2014, 10:17 am

        That would have driven way less traffic to their site though… I think they’re just shameless in creating faux outrage to increase site traffic. I’ve never really read Jezebel much, but by now I’ve totally given up on them.

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    • Lindsay

      Lindsay January 20, 2014, 10:21 am

      Yes! Which makes them seem really jerkish because it’s like they couldn’t believe she could naturally look that good.

      I just think it’s odd that the only person they go after is Lena Dunham. They claim it’s because she talks about body image a lot, and they apparently think it’s hypocritical that she lets them Photoshop her, but it just seems like they are just feeding into the Lena Dunham hate and trying to put an intellectual spin on it. Why else only attack the person who tries to promote positive body image and let the rest be?

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        SasLinna January 20, 2014, 10:27 am

        Yeah, it really doesn’t make sense on any level. Lena Dunham’s “real” face is known from Girls, right? We know that face and body. And any Vogue shot of course includes some photoshopping, who would be surprised by that?

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow January 20, 2014, 10:34 am

      Yeah, I didn’t understand the point of that at all. If they’re against all the photoshopping, why are they singling out Lena Dunham? Is she supposed to be “above” it? Am I supposed to be outraged that the photoshopping happened? And if so, where should my rage be directed? Seriously, I’m confused.

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      • avatar

        Painted_lady January 20, 2014, 11:55 am

        I get a tiiiiiny part of it. Lena Dunham has been really vocal about how damaging to women photoshop can be, and has been really vocal about anyone calling her out for her less-than-ideal body. So, upon seeing that Vogue spread, the correct thing to do – if they were actually interested in being journalists – would have been for Jezebel to contact Lena Dunham and ask about how she feels about the retouching that Vogue did. Turns out, first off, most of the retouching was to get more polished photos (there was some weird bulge they shaved off because of the weird angle of her waist, they digitally pulled up her top, etc), and then secondly, she’s in plenty of physically unflattering shots in Girls – clearly there’s not any body shame happening, and who was Jezebel to decide whether she looked appropriately frumpy or too pretty?

        I really like LD’s voice – I don’t find the stories she tells all that interesting, but her points are smart and funny and seemingly genuine. But I’m kind of wondering if the media has forced her into the feminist box so fully that she’s a little trapped. I was reading a story last week, no idea where, about her flying off the handle over some journalist who asked her why she feels ALL the nudity on the show is necessary – not like, hey, only pretty girls get to be naked but just, hey, it’s not all that realistic to walk around naked in front of roommates or use the bathroom with the door open and have a conversation. She called him sexist, but I don’t think he was in that moment, and I’m not sure if that was just a bad moment for her, or maybe she’s overly-primed to expect tat kind of question.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow January 20, 2014, 12:36 pm

        I think I read that, too. The guy who asked the question went on to say that he “gets” nudity in other shows like Game of Thrones because the purpose is to “titillate” (not sure if he used that word, but it was something gross like that) the viewers, implying that Lena Dunham’s nudity is pointless because it’s not appealing to the people watching it.

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        Painted_lady January 20, 2014, 12:44 pm

        That makes total sense, then. The article I was reading didn’t include that part, and the author was conjecturing about the whole idea that maaaayyyybe the nudity isn’t that realistic, given that LD’s defense of it is that she’s portraying how people really exist. But yeah, if that guy “didn’t understand” because he just doesn’t enjoy seeing her naked…then fuck him.

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      • ApresMoi

        ApresMoi January 20, 2014, 1:19 pm

        I read his take on the whole exchange, and his question was more about why LD’s character is naked so much on the show, when the other characters are not. Sometimes her nudity seems really random and out of place, and he was wondering what the motivation for that was. He used the word “salacious” to describe nudity in GoT, which doesn’t necessarily have a positive connotation. To me, it serves the purpose of showing the extravagance and brutality of the world that they live in. Now in Girls, what’s the point of LD being naked just because all the time? His question wasn’t sexist at all.

        Here is the article:
        http://www.thewrap.com/judd-apatow-lena-dunham-get-mad-asking-shes-naked-much-girls/

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow January 20, 2014, 1:38 pm

        Oh, salacious? I guess I’m remembering it wrong, then. I did think their response to his question was…oddly defensive. But come on, it’s season 3 and people are still obsessing over her nudity? I don’t get what the big deal is. At all.

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        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 1:41 pm

        I found it defensive too. It was a good question I thought and his response article also good.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow January 20, 2014, 1:44 pm

        But also, I mean, that’s a weird view of nudity in general. If it’s “salacious” / crude / obscene / pornographic then that’s ok, but if it’s just a regular person who likes to be naked, it’s weird? (I haven’t seen Game of Thrones so I don’t know the context of the nudity on that show). I just think people need to get over nudity in general.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 1:49 pm

        I think that was the answer he needed to hear, which he didn’t get.

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        Painted_lady January 20, 2014, 1:59 pm

        Well, and I kind of think maybe that’s part of what her aim is? Nudity =/= sexual, we need to stop viewing women’s bodies as commodities and putting rules on which ones can be seen and which can’t, let’s quit flipping out the second we see an areola. And that’s a great aim, even if it doesn’t really serve her storyline that well…but that would have been an acceptable answer. Or even, “Dude, I really don’t want to answer any more questions about nudity three seasons in.” And I don’t think it was necessarily, “Lena Dunham you fail at feminism! No! Bad!” I think she’s just going to be on guard for comments that are sexist, and maybe, given that she and Judd Apatow (who’s not exactly Mr. Feminism) BOTH flipped out, maybe something about his phrasing was wrong. There was never a moment where he was like, “No, you’re misunderstanding, it’s a genuine question, and I’m not offended by it, just, really, really, why? It feels out of place, and it would if, like, Natalie Dormer were playing your role.” I think it was just a miss all around.

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        SasLinna January 20, 2014, 2:46 pm

        The nudity on GOT is (with a few exceptions) totally gratuitous. It’s like soft porn.

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        Painted_lady January 20, 2014, 2:02 pm

        That’s closer to what I remember reading, thanks for linking. I wasn’t remembering all the details. And I can see how she might initially respond as if it were sexist, and I can understand why he might originally be genuinely confused and not understand why she was responding that way…but ultimately there could have been a moment where one (or both!) of them was like, wait, this question is not being perceived as intended, and no one backed down.

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      • avatar

        Amber January 20, 2014, 4:22 pm

        I don’t think that reporters point was that Lena Dunham is not hot so therefore has no business being naked on TV. I think his point was the nakedness on her show is really random, like in a just walking around the house naked kind of way. On Game of Thrones the nakedness is always in a sexual context.

        Maybe I’m wrong…

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      • Lindsay

        Lindsay January 20, 2014, 4:05 pm

        Well, I think she gets that shit a lot. Like all the time. And who’s to say it isn’t realistic? It’s not like she has the characters walking around naked outside. Surely there are people who actually like to spend time naked. There’s a difference between “realistic” and “realistic for most people.” Fictional characters are allowed to have characteristics that aren’t what the majority does.

        My thing is that if it were really “hot” women getting naked a lot, no one would question it. And I assume that’s what her point is, too.

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    • avatar

      jbk80 January 20, 2014, 12:47 pm

      I’m so glad I’m not the only person who feels that Jezebel is the “mean girl” of blogs. I used to read it, but the tone became so nasty that it started to disgust me. The final straw for me was when they published a really mean column about the 14 year old girl who sang the “Friday” song. Grown women have no excuse to treat an 8th/9th grade girl that way. I’m sorry to hear that they’re still acting in ways that bully the subjects they write about.

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  • avatar

    TECH January 20, 2014, 10:15 am

    I really wish people made a bigger deal out of Martin Luther King Day. I think most Americans view it as a “small” holiday and a lot of people (myself included) don’t have it off from work. But Labor Day, for instance, people almost universally have it off.
    Is it because Americans are really interested in observing the labor movement? No, it’s because it’s the end of summer and people like to go to the beach and have cook outs. Maybe if Martin Luther King was born in early September, we’d all have it off.
    MLK was one of the most influential and admirable people in American history. I think a lot of people take him for granted.
    I don’t agree with my stepmom on much, but when I told her I had to work today, she said, “Well, isn’t that a slap in Martin Luther King’s face?”

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  • avatar

    Banana January 20, 2014, 10:35 am

    I try to follow a lot of my own career advice — when I’m unhappy at a job, I work hard to enhance my resume to be more attractive to other employers, I network a lot, I take on additional freelance work to pad my portfolio and make new connections, I try to think of new directions I hadn’t considered before, etc. But sometimes no matter how hard I work to do it right, and fix my situation, take control of my own fate, and learn the skills I need to qualify for the work I want, I just can’t escape feeling so freaking depressed about being stuck in my current job that I can barely get out of bed in the morning, and I have that tears-burning-behind-my-eyes feeling all day. I think I have a good handle on the career-advice side of this, but I could really use some emotional advice on how to get through a bad situation even when you’re trying your best and you just have to give it time.

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    • avatar

      SasLinna January 20, 2014, 10:41 am

      Aw Banana, I think everyone goes through times like this. You come across as very smart and capable, this will work in your favor. I don’t really have advice since I struggle with this as well. I can usually only really relax when I’m not stuck anymore & by then I’m already in the next batle. So I feel you.

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      • avatar

        Banana January 20, 2014, 10:46 am

        Thanks, Sas. I always think of you as smart and capable too, which is why a vote of confidence from you helps so much 🙂 You’re right. Sometimes it just happens. I just have to ride it out. Thank you for encouraging me.

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      rachel January 20, 2014, 10:44 am

      Ugh, I’m sorry Banana. I’ve had chunks of time like that in my current job. I…don’t really have any good advice, I mostly have slogged through by bitching about my boss and drinking during the week. But *hugs* for you. You’ll get through this.

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      • avatar

        Banana January 20, 2014, 10:47 am

        Thanks. Internet hugs help. This is probably not the best time for me to try to give up weeknight drinking, either. Not that I’m going to drown my sorrows every night, but you’re right — sometimes you just need one to take the edge off the day.

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    • avatar

      Banana January 20, 2014, 10:45 am

      Eh, maybe there isn’t much of an answer except that sometimes stuff like this happens. I’ve been trying to use my free time to focus on personal writing, projects that I find fulfilling, helping others, doing all the things that normally make me feel good. But yesterday when my roommate tried to cheer me up by getting all our gardening books down and talking about our herb garden for this year — something that would normally have me bouncing off the walls — I couldn’t even peel myself off the couch. It just…didn’t reach my heart. There was this little cloud of misery that kept me from getting excited about it. I kept telling myself, “Get up and get the terra cotta pots out — that will be the first step to getting excited,” but I felt like all my energy had drained out and getting up to do that was like climbing a mountain. I just couldn’t.

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    • avatar

      TECH January 20, 2014, 10:49 am

      Oh man, I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time. As for the emotional side of things, I think just taking action period will help you. If you’re deeply unhappy with your job, make a commitment to apply for x number of jobs per week. I think just knowing that you’re doing something to change your situation will help your frame of mind. Also, having things to look forward to after work might help. It could be something as simple getting fro yo or working out or meeting a friend for coffee.
      Also, are you able to take any time off from work? Sometimes just a short vacation can really help.

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      • avatar

        Banana January 20, 2014, 11:04 am

        Thanks. Yeah, I’m taking a day off here and there in Feb, I just gotta make it there. I think part of my funk this week is that I have to work an event all weekend, and because of the volume of work I have to complete before it, I won’t be able to take a day off this week to relax before it all comes up.

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    • Lindsay

      Lindsay January 20, 2014, 10:56 am

      I think that sometimes as helpful as all that career planning can be, it can turn the idea of a different job into some sort of paradise. Like it blows it up in your mind as being something that once attained, will mean your life is perfect, etc. So, then when you can’t reach it yet, you feel even worse and even more stuck. So as good as that stuff is, make sure that you’re not spending all your time thinking about what things will be like in the future. It’s like when people think their life isn’t going to officially start until something happens — like when they get out of school or get married or whatever — remember that your life is already barreling along. You don’t want to wish away that much of it!

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      • avatar

        Banana January 20, 2014, 11:01 am

        Thanks Lindsey. I get that 100% — I don’t think a new job will solve all my problems. My current job is just so comprehensively unbearable that it’s hard to get through every day, even when I know in the back of my mind that I have all these cool things going on, on the side, that are fun and give my life meaning, and even when I am aggressively looking for other jobs. I don’t know, maybe today I’m just one of those infuriating LWers who asks for advice when they only real advice is “Keep slogging, it will get better eventually.” I’m not looking for a job that will make my life perfect, I just need a job that isn’t my current one.

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      • Lindsay

        Lindsay January 20, 2014, 11:11 am

        I understand, Banana! I wasn’t saying that you consciously think it’ll be perfect. Just that when I felt stuck in my job, the fact that I was constantly thinking about another job made me even antsier.

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      • avatar

        Banana January 20, 2014, 2:04 pm

        True, true. Thanks for the reminder. You’re right.

        I really AM turning into *that* letter writer — the one who just wants to stew in her own negativity. It’s been one of those days when coworkers are popping into my office and asking me if everything’s okay, just because of the expression on my face. I’m going to go for a run tonight and hope that that jump-starts some good endorphins. Then I’ll send notes to three companies I like.

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      • avatar

        AliceInDairyland January 20, 2014, 11:28 am

        Hey Lindsay, even if that advice was meant for Banana it was great for me to hear it. In my head (and out loud) I feel like I’m constantly like, “Well, once I am done with school blah, blah, blah will happen…….” Which, maybe it will and maybe it won’t. And even though yeah 25 credits is insane and school is sometimes excruciating I still have a lot of good things going on. Can’t put off living forever, so thanks!

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        Banana January 20, 2014, 2:09 pm

        I used to have that feeling a lot, both when I was in school, and then directly afterward when I wasn’t making a ton of money, and I’d think, “Well, I’ll REALLY start living when I have enough cash to do x…”

        Then I just started doing some of those things I’d dreamed about. I found ways to do them cheaper than the original dream (like, I’d travel, but I’d couch surf and visit more free attractions instead of pulling out the stops) and I also found other places I could pinch my budget to be able to afford the fun life experiences — “Can’t I buy store brand of that?” “If I eat beforehand, I can meet my friends at that restaurant and just enjoy a glass of wine while they dine.” etc. I realized that if I waited to make “enough” money to do all the things I wanted to do, I’d find reasons to keep putting off life. I think for a while I was over-cautious with money (after a period of not knowing how to manage it at all) and my breakthrough was finding the balance in between, when I handled money responsibly but didn’t postpone my life until I was making “enough” to feel like I was allowed to have fun experiences.

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    • meadowphoenix

      meadowphoenix January 20, 2014, 5:25 pm

      I’d also like to remind you that January is pretty hard as a month. It’s after a lot of excitement, and it’s winter and it’s dark, and that’s really hard to deal with. Make sure you have enough vitamins, like D and C, and if it gets bad enough that you really feel down, maybe consider talking it out with a counselor to see if you can redirect some of your negative thoughts.

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  • mylaray

    mylaray January 20, 2014, 10:44 am

    I have to work today, though I can’t complain because I never get Monday holidays off. I live in Atlanta, where MLK is from, so a few coworkers and I are leaving early to go to the march later. Should be fun. Atlanta is very progressive for the south and it’s nice to see how far things have come here.

    I feel conflicted about what the bachelor said about gays. On one hand, it’s free speech and the network shouldn’t get in the way and decide people’s beliefs by policing what they think is not okay. But on the other hand, how is saying something like that okay? It’s sad that there aren’t any likely major repercussions in that situation. It’s sad that that kind of behavior is brushed off so easily.

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    • meadowphoenix

      meadowphoenix January 20, 2014, 5:27 pm

      Free speech shouldn’t and doesn’t apply to anyone but the government, and I absolutely think networks should police what the people on their shows say.

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  • avatar

    bethany January 20, 2014, 11:14 am

    Something happened this weekend that related to the forum discussion we had the other day about Gluten Free/Vegetarian dinner guests. We had friends over for dinner on Saturday for dinner. I made apps/dinner and they brought desert. Rachel brought ice cream and brownies for desert, so she needed to put the ice cream in the freezer. I saw that she also put a small Trader Joe’s burrito meal in the freezer, too. I thought that was odd, but because of the forum topic the other day, I figured maybe one of them was having some new, weird food issue I didn’t know about. Turns out she’s 10 weeks pregnant, and wanted to have “back up” food just in case I made something she couldn’t eat. She was going to call ahead of time and tell me, but they wanted to tell us in person.

    Now I want a baby even more!

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    • GatorGirl

      GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 11:42 am

      I need a 1st birthday present idea…have any awesome ones? I don’t want to get clothes, I was thinking something fun/educational, you know not just crap that will get lost in the pile?

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy January 20, 2014, 12:19 pm

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 12:44 pm

        Thanks!! IDK why I forgot about that!

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      • avatar

        sarita_f January 20, 2014, 8:03 pm

        That glowworm Wendy links to totally soothed my 6mo nephew on a 7-hr car ride right after christmas. His mom was sending me texts about it :). I also like to get personalized wooden teethers from this etsy shop, because i am a goddamn hippie when it comes to babies/baby toys.

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  • avatar

    Sunshine Brite January 20, 2014, 12:16 pm

    I don’t wanna go to work today. My next job that I start next week has all the important holidays off, another perk. At least I get to spend the morning with Wyatt since it’s my late day.

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark January 20, 2014, 12:36 pm

    Regarding The Bachelor. You want to know what I think Is perverted? That Millions upon millions of women — most of whom would all claim to be feminists will STILL tune in.

    Feminists… HAH! Do you really think a “feminist” would actually watch a television program where her sisters routinely debase themselves in some pathetic scramble over some bland dude who (clearly!) hates fags and totally thinks that he’s so fucking hot that he is more than worthy of fifty women tearing one another apart over him? REALLY? A feminist would watch that weekly, huh?

    Now THAT truly IS perverse…

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 12:44 pm

      Another bizarre thing – he said he doesn’t think children should watch it (gay or straight bachelor), yet he has a daughter and is ON THE SHOW. What kind of example is that? Don’t watch the Bachelor hunny, its a bad show, but oh yea, daddy is on it picking a wife out of 25 women. Its really sad that a man with a daughter would go on that show.

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    • katie

      katie January 20, 2014, 12:57 pm

      Yep, I’m right there with you..

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    • Lindsay

      Lindsay January 20, 2014, 4:01 pm

      I agree with the sentiment, but I question whether most of the women who tune in consider themselves feminists. Most of the people I know who watch are the type who say stuff like, “I’m not a feminist, but…”

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark January 20, 2014, 12:58 pm

    Parting shot on sherman… NEWSFLASH: People who ACTUALLY are the best at something never have to run around shouting that news to the rest of the world.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 1:10 pm

      Amen.

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    • meadowphoenix

      meadowphoenix January 20, 2014, 5:31 pm

      Studies about the positive correlation between egoism and genius are many. Read about people who are culturally considered geniuses; most of them are assholes.

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    rachel January 20, 2014, 2:06 pm

    Today is technically a holiday, but I have a web-conference in an hour and a half, so I came into work for a few hours. I haven’t actually DONE any work though. Not sure if I’m gonna.

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  • GatorGirl

    GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 2:12 pm

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 2:17 pm

      Really interesting. I am very happy for the change in views. But I do have to roll my eyes at the timing. He seems to only agree with things once they can make him look good. He would have never said these comments 6 years ago. It’s like he’s riding on the coattails. BUT whatever, overall it’s a great thing. Colorado is killing it in tax revenue. And his point about how the people that are jailed for marijuana use is extremely unfair is so on point. To put pot heads in jail is RIDICULOUS. So yeah I’m glad he’s speaking about it. Now if only he would push for it to be federally legal. Eyeroll at his timing.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 2:20 pm

        Yeah, I have no strong feelings about the timing (I just don’t care enough). But I do think it’s a good step! We might be coming to Colorado this summer, so it will be interesting to see legality in place.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 2:23 pm

        We’ll have to have a meet-up. The legality is really weird. I haven’t gone yet, but there’s easily 6 stores within walking distance of my house. The thought that you can just walk down the street and get a bag is really cool. I wish it was federally legal and then I would walk my happy little ass down there.

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        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 2:24 pm

        How are there already 6 in walking distance?! That was fast!

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 2:46 pm

        Well most of them were already there but were selling as “medicinal marijuana” meaning you could only walk in and purchase them in you had a medical marijuana card. Many have certainly popped up and opened on January 1, 2014, because now you can purchase for recreational use, i.e., you wanna get high.

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        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 2:47 pm

        Oh, duh.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 2:32 pm

        Yes! I was going to try for a meet up but we’ll “technically” be on our way late honeymoon so I’ll have to see. Federal legality would make me a heck of a lot more comfortable with it. Plus edibles intrigue me.

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        Bethany January 20, 2014, 2:40 pm

        So how does that work, being legal in the state, but not federally? If I bought some in one of those stores could I still get in trouble?

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        rachel January 20, 2014, 2:44 pm

        From what I understand, someone correct me if I’m wrong, the feds have said they would basically let people do their thing in Colorado, and only interfere if it crosses state lines.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 2:48 pm

        Well I don’t think that’s completely accurate (although someone can correct me if I’m wrong). In Colorado if you have a Colorado I.D. I believe you can buy up to an ounce, whereas if you have a drivers license or I.D. from another state you can only buy 1/8th. So it is assumed that you’ll only be consuming in the state. It would be really difficult for them to regulate who brings some across state lines, but it is still illegal in other states, and once you cross a state line with it you can be prosecuted in that state.

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        rachel January 20, 2014, 2:51 pm

        Interesting. I didn’t know that about the ID’s. But yeah, that’s kinda what I figured. Like, if you get busted with some in Nebraska, they’re not gonna accept “well I bought it in Colorado” as an excuse.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 2:55 pm

        Exactly.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 2:51 pm

        It’s really weird when I answer a question you didn’t ask. So disregard my entire comment above.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 2:49 pm

        Basically the government said it’s a waste of their time to try to police recreational users in states with legal weed, and will only go after people who try to take it across state lines. Basically the feds have bigger fish to fry.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 2:50 pm

        So to answer you Bethany, no. You can be from out of state, and buy some in Colorado, you just can’t take it across state lines. The legality for someone like me who lives in Colorado is that I have a license that states I can’t commit crimes. So although it is legal in Colorado, it is not legal in the U.S. and my license could still be suspended, or I could still be sanctioned, if I got caught. So to me it is still a career risk to participate, which is dumb. It’s like dangling candy in front of a baby.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 2:56 pm

        I was guessing it was because of work you couldn’t. Bummer.

        Bethany this is for you
        http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2014/01/02/marijuana-pot-legal-colorado-questions/4288289/

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 3:20 pm

        Yeah I mean I probably could because I work at a private firm (btw this conversation and details I’m sharing are giving me hives, I should really try to be more anonymous) and private firms in Colorado couldn’t really care less, which is crazy because I have an attorney friend in Alabama and he smokes but says that if his firm found out they would assume he was also snorting heroine and probably make him go to rehab or something crazy. I find the different views, and how far on the opposite side of the spectrum they can be, fascinating. I *think* government attorney’s still have to take drug tests, but I’ll have to ask my friend about that. If they’re government attorneys for the state of Colorado, not federal attorney’s, I could see the state not wanting to waste money drug testing you, when it’s state-legal. Hmmm, so many fun questions.

        So I guess the only reason I don’t is because it is federally illegal. It’s not a big deal to my firm, but if the Supreme Court, who regulates me, somehow found out in some crazy way (lets be honest, probably from a disgruntled client sending them a letter or something) I could probably get in trouble. Maybe it would only be a slap on the wrist, but I’m not willing to risk it. Colorado has one of the highest ethical standards for attorney’s in the nation. Ironic.

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      • Guy Friday

        Guy Friday January 20, 2014, 4:43 pm

        Are you talking about the CO Supreme Court or the US Supreme Court? Because if you’re talking on a federal level, they wouldn’t touch it, and on a state level they would apply the same standards as alcohol (i.e., they’d have to prove that your work was materially impaired by your use of the substance.) I get that your license says that you can’t commit crimes, but in Colorado it’s not a crime. If you came to Wisconsin to visit me and were caught in possession of marijuana THEN your license could be at risk (since you committed a crime in Wisconsin and reciprocal action would be taken). But as long as you stay within the borders of Colorado, your license isn’t at risk any more than it would be if you had wine or beer.

        I don’t know if I missed this comment above, but it’ll be interesting to see how the legalization of marijuana affects DUIs in Colorado. Is it going to be like other medications, where you actually have to take it to trial to show you were within therapeutic levels? Have therapeutic levels even been established? If you have prescription medication AND marijuana in your system, are they going to make a “cumulative effect” argument?

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 4:50 pm

        While I don’t know, obviously, how it will play out in cases- apparently there is a device that can detect how high you are at a given moment via a blood draw.

        http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/12/31/colorado-recreational-marijuana/4261981/

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        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 5:00 pm

        Interesting GG. I didn’t know anything existed that can measure how high you are RIGHT NOW. So I guess its quite easy then to determine DUIs.

        This made me wtf – Q. Can you have marijuana in your car?

        A. Yes, it may be carried but not in an open container, and it cannot cross state borders. It is illegal to use it in your car.

        How can pot NOT be in an open container?

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      • Guy Friday

        Guy Friday January 20, 2014, 5:15 pm

        How can pot NOT be in an open container?

        “Open container” here is the same definition used for alcohol. Put another way, much like you can transport alcohol in your car but can’t have an open beer in the cup holder and drink while driving, they’re saying you can’t smoke a joint while driving but could have a sealed baggie in the backseat or in your trunk. Technically you could probably have a baggie in your front passenger seat, but it’s like having a bottle of vodka there: you might not get in trouble, but the cops are going to make your life hell before clearing you.

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        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 5:19 pm

        Right, but I wouldn’t consider a sandwich baggie a sealed container really.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 5:40 pm

        So they’ve actually been prosecuting weed-dui’s in Colorado for at least as long as I’ve been in the field (so starting law school). It’s actually not that hard. For someone that smokes everyday you will have a “base” level of THC in your system at any given time, and then right after you smoke, it spikes, and then goes back down. So even if you’re a heavy user they can still tell how recently you smoked. That’s obviously a very un-scientific summary, but you get the gist. Of course defense attorney’s argue against it’s credibility, but it’s just as effective as an alcohol blood draw or breathalyzer.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 5:41 pm

        Oh and I remember from reading transcripts (oh the joy of being an intern) that it’s about 2 hours. So you can’t drive up to two hours after smoking. I don’t however remember if that was for a heavy user or regular user or light user. But I remember two hours. So put that number in your pipe and smoke it.

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        sarita_f January 20, 2014, 9:18 pm

        @IWTTS – YASSSSSS

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 2:54 pm

        And I have to say at first it was a little weird seeing stores openly advertising the sale of marijuana, but you get used to it really quickly. I don’t even really notice them anymore. They aren’t hidden, or shameful, or only in sketchy areas. They’re just everywhere, and it’s a part of life, like liquor stores, which I think is really really good.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 3:00 pm

        This is what I’m excited to see. Also, I’ve read a bit about it and the technical restrictions on where you can smoke are extensive it seems! Basically only in private residences is what I got from it.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 3:03 pm

        Yeah I mean it’s sort of like cigarettes in that sense. You can’t smoke cigarettes in bars either (thank god). You can walk around downtown though and smell it outside, similar to cigarettes. Although who knows maybe that’s technically illegal, but if so what’re they going to do about it? You’re allowed to buy it, smoke it, etc. and you’re outside – so whaddatheygunnadoaboutit?

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl January 20, 2014, 3:09 pm

        I’m sure the local police have taken a similar stance on that as the government…it’s silly to bother trying to police so long as people aren’t being total dicks about it.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson January 20, 2014, 3:14 pm

        Yeah exactly. I mean police don’t bother me when I’m drinking outside at a park or anything. It’s kinda like the golden rule, if you’re not being a dick we’ll leave you alone.

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    • bittergaymark

      bittergaymark January 20, 2014, 2:19 pm

      And VERY true.

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        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 2:20 pm

        What do you think about the whole Madonna thing in the news – calling her son the N word and taking pics of him underage drinking?

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark January 20, 2014, 4:29 pm

        Eh, it was stupid and I wouldn ‘t have done it. But then it is so used in the hip hop community where its all you’re my N… Still… Honestly? Why she would call Rocco that — I dunno. But most of the outrage over this rather silly. Now if she had — say called Kanye this, or hell, one of her own adopted kids, it’d be a whole different story…

        The underage drinking thing. Eh… Kids drink in Europe legally, don’t they? And the pics were shot in Switzerland — so really? I don’t get all the fuss. Hey, if she posted the pics she was there supervising. Lord knows I’d drank by his age. Everybody had. Everybody has.

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        lets_be_honest January 20, 2014, 4:36 pm

        Oh I didn’t realize that about the booze pictures.

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      • meadowphoenix

        meadowphoenix January 20, 2014, 5:38 pm

        I’m still pissed about her SPIN article years ago, so I’m not really here for giving Madonna the benefit of the doubt here.

        I don’t care about the booze pictures, but she was clearly trying to be provocative as usual, so I’m always a little annoyed when she gets defensive for getting exactly the reaction she wanted.

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark January 21, 2014, 12:09 am

        What SPIN article.

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      • meadowphoenix

        meadowphoenix January 21, 2014, 6:52 am

        The ’96 one where she decided to shit on black men, black women, and wonder rather ignorantly why black people weren’t here for her when as a women she was a minority too and therefore understood. All in the same paragraph.

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        lets_be_honest January 21, 2014, 9:18 am

        I think its rather lame to use your children as a prop when trying to be provocative.

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