I started wondering about his need to express his anger in a physical way like that. I know it was a small thing to spray me in the face with water but it was the whole idea of it being a physical expression of anger that worried me. Is this something I should address? The whole thing honestly felt very childish but it made me wonder if this had been an actual argument if he would have felt the same need to do something to physically express himself. Or maybe he really is just being childish and knew no other way of expressing his anger than a petty act. I also don’t want to read into something that’s not there. Should I talk to him? Watch for other signs? — If You Have Something to Spray, Spray It Nicely
Yes, spraying you in the face with his shower head — especially in an angry way — was incredibly childish of your boyfriend. And while his act isn’t one I defend, I can understand where his frustration and anger stemmed from. You treated him like a child. You told him not to eat candy before dinner — something a mother would say to her eight-year-old son. No wonder he acted out like a little kid. You made him feel like one. And do you really think a few pieces of candy is going to ruin his appetite (which, I’m assuming is the reason you prefer him not to eat it before dinner)? I know grown men. I live with one. I can’t imagine my husband, for example, being unable to eat a meal simply because he had a few M&Ms before dinnertime.
But, back to your question: Yes, I’d suggest you look out for other signs that your boyfriend has an anger problem or that you have something to worry about in terms of him expressing his anger in a physical way. Spraying you in the face with water and then stomping off isn’t grounds for breaking up or moving out, but if you — someone who hopefully knows this guy really well — feel genuinely concerned, that’s definitely worth expressing to him. Let him know you were disturbed by his behavior, found it out of character, and hope in the future if he has an issue with you, he won’t resort to expressing his frustration in a physical way. I would hope he’d apologize to you, but you can grease the wheel of that apology by offering up your own for treating him like a kid.
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