Today you get three letters in one — kinda like shortcuts, but a little bit longer (and you’ll still get regular shortcuts tomorrow, because this week is awesome like that!). I’m going to start incorporating more of these kinds of columns — collections of letters that don’t warrant entire columns on their own, but work well grouped together. Ideas for a name for this feature??
I expected to pay for a hotel the weekend of the wedding, but not for the planning weekends leading up to it. Every other time I have visited her in our seven year friendship, I have always stayed with her. Should I say something to her or just do my best to understand and let it go? — Bridesmaid on a Budget
Call up your friend and explain that since you have only budgeted to pay for a hotel once for her wedding, you’ll have to help her pick out dresses and make other wedding plans long distance. Fortunately, a little something called the internet makes that a lot easier, as does a phone. If she has a problem emailing links to you of dress contenders and would rather get your input in person, she can either invite you to stay in her spare room despite her fiancé’s fear of “awkwardness” or offer to pay for your hotel.
I don’t think we’re going to be able to change their minds so my real problem is how do I keep my folks from feeling snubbed or slighted? I’ve planned all kinds of activities for the weekend, but I’m pretty sure they’re going to notice that the point of their trip bailed on them. — Snubbed Bride
I would hope that spending time with their daughter and enjoying the many activities she’s planned would be a bigger draw for your parents than spending an entire weekend with her unsocial, future in-laws. And why is it necessary to force a friendship between the two sets of parents anyway? They’re not getting married to each other — their kids are! One meal together will give everyone the opportunity for face-time and small talk, and if your parents really feel like they need more than that, well, there’s always the rest of their lives to come visit.
What’s a good way to bring up this guy’s divorce in an email with him? I feel like I should broach the topic before I end up dating him for awhile only to get hurt if he gets back together with his ex-wife. — Not a Rebound
Slow down! You haven’t even met the guy and you’re already talking about a future relationship AND break up? If you like the guy, go out with him. Have dinner and see how you feel then. Ask how long he’s been divorced if you’re still really curious. But if you want to avoid taking any risk in dating, then you probably just shouldn’t date, period, because any time you go out with someone, divorced or not, you put your heart on the line, and no amount of questions in an email beforehand is going to protect you from that.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.