After a brief hiatus, His Take is back! Let’s see how the guys handle this one:
You can text through the game and that’s what we did. Every so often he would send me a text to my phone talking about the game. This started to really annoy me, so I resigned from the game and told him I couldn’t bare to beat him again. He took himself off match that night and never responded. I took the game off my cell and didn’t think twice. Ten days later I get a text from him asking me if I was really going to leave him hanging on Words with Friends. We texted back and forth for a while and I eventually accepted his new game request and we started playing again.
He would text me to my phone and actually talk to me about other things. I started to feel good about stuff. And I found himself liking him again. But now we still haven’t hung out. It’s been a month and half since I last saw him and I think we’ve played six games on Words with Friends. He’s driving me insane. I don’t understand why he went off Match and I don’t understand why he keeps playing me in this stupid game. If he had such a great time why isn’t making plans to see me? — More than Words, More than Friends?
JAREK: I’m house hunting right now. It’s actually a lot of fun, but it’s also easy to get frustrated fairly quickly. For example, my girlfriend and I will attend an open house and absolutely fall in love with what we see. The layout is perfect, cool kitchen, awesome design, etc. We then get excited about the idea of having a house together, so we start mapping out all the rooms, figuring out what will go where, and envisioning our future there. We get a certain scenario in our head and it just plays over and over. The frustrating part comes when we realize other things, like how high the taxes are, or how bad the neighborhood is, or worse, someone else puts an offer down and takes it off the market. We feel let down. We feel like this was our house, our future, and it turns out it’s not what we thought it was or is no longer available. We created a certain expectation for that house to live up to, and it didn’t. But the reality is, if we never got ahead of ourselves and emotionally invested so quickly, we could realize this wasn’t the house for us and walk away not feeling any different.
So I think you may be creating a certain scenario in your mind with your ex. You appear to be putting a lot of emphasis on small things he does, like texting, and then convince yourself he means more. And when you find he isn’t living up to the scenario in your head, you get frustrated and feel let down. But if you step back and look at what he is doing or the actions he is taking, you may find he is not as romantically interested as you thought. Most of his communication with you could be done from the comfort of his own toilet. If his passive communication pains you because you can’t physically be with him, then just stop communicating. If he really wants to see you, he’ll make more of an effort than signing in to Words With Friends. In the meantime, you shouldn’t mistake informal and convenient interaction with emotional interest.
ANDREW: And they say seduction is a lost art! Sure, your old flame could have wooed you back through poetry, song or simply by buying you a gin and tonic. But no! Interacting with the outside world is for brutes! He is a sensitive man. He has a decent vocabulary. He reveals his true feelings through Words With Friends. What a romantic! On any given Friday night I’m sure he can be found nestled away in a darkly-lit room achieving his high score on Fruit Ninja. After all, only fools rush in. Why take unnecessary risks like meeting a woman face to face when he can comfortably stare at the rectangular screen of his plastic telephone all night long?
Yes, he is beguiling, this mysterious ex of yours. But you must resist him. Resist the rakish way he’ll invite you to play FarmVille. Start over — someplace where no one knows you, someplace where adult men establish eye contact for longer than three seconds. Start over, and never look back!
* If you’d like to ask the guys a question, simply email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with “His Take” in the subject line and I’ll pass your question along to them.