Now I understand wanting to feel attachment to your wedding ring, but my girlfriend won’t go pick one out for me to purchase and she won’t get online to even design one of her own. She also does not want to change her Facebook status to engaged or announce any engagement until she receives a ring, yet, when we began to get serious, she insisted that I change my status to “in a relationship.”
I should also point out that I got your email from a link she had sent me where a woman had written to you about her fiancé purchasing a drum set rather than an engagement ring after they were engaged for eight months.
I would welcome your input on this matter as I am very confused. — On a Ring and a Prayer
Fortunately, unlike this morning’s column, I think I can answer this one successfully despite my utter lack of sleep for the past six weeks. LW, this really isn’t so complicated. Surely you can understand why your girlfriend wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing a ring that, until very recently, she saw on your daughter’s hand and that now symbolizes, at least in her mind, a failed marriage, right? But it sounds like she DOES want to marry you — she simply wants a different ring, and, since she doesn’t want to pick it out or design it herself, you have to take the responsibility of picking one out for her yourself. Does she have a good friend or sister or mom you can ask for advice (or maybe to even go shopping with you)? If not, you could ask her what style she prefers and then do your best to please her. I bet she’ll be happy with whatever you choose as long as it isn’t your daughter’s ring. Speaking of which: You should ask your daughter if she wants to buy back her former ring, and, if not, sell it yourself and use the money for the new engagement ring you’ll be buying.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.