In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
Needless to say, I got sucked back in and believed him when he said she was nothing. Then, I started to realize he was going through my cell phone! So, I decided to save my own number into my phone (under a guy’s name) and text myself dirty messages so that he would confront me. Well, the dirty texts from myself made him look at my phone constantly. And I finally confronted him and he cried and begged me to stay with him and he told me he loved me.
Fast forward three or four months. He still wanted to be with me all the time, but he was kind of distant while we would hang out, saying rude things here and there and not being very affectionate. I had a conversation with him, he said he’d change, but then he never did. Fast forward another three months and he is saying terrible things to me, but when I get upset he tells me they are “jokes.” He once said I was going to be an alcoholic when I get older (because my mom is) and that I was too stupid to learn Spanish (his first language). And one day, I was talking about a slutty friend who had wronged me. He said, “You were probably like that before too, don’t put yourself on a pedestal.” It broke my heart, he apologized and for some stupid reason I forgave him.
I continued to be unhappy and kept telling myself I must be a horrible person if my boyfriend is treating me this way. Now, come to find out he is blaming all this on ME. He brought up all the dirty texts and I realized that he never figured out it was me. He had harbored all this hurt for months and calls me a liar now. I feel like I turned a potentially good relationship bad. He agreed we could try to get past it, but he still didn’t trust me.
I felt so mixed up and lost. So, a few weeks ago, I went out with my friend for her birthday, got way to drunk and kissed somebody else. I didn’t even remember, because I hadn’t eaten anything that day and decided to drink my worries away. My friend’s brother saw this happen and told my guy, even though they hardly know each other. So, he broke things off for good and I feel like the worst person on the face of the planet. What happened is totally NOT ME, but apparently he thinks I am some kind of slut. It was just a kiss! And I feel like I was taken advantage of! I was too drunk to know what was going on! I have apologized a million times, but he just keeps saying I am a liar and I broke his heart. I can’t help but feel like I am a horrible person for everything that has happened and I’m not sure how to get over this. Help1 — Out of (Con)text