It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
Your fiance’s ex-wife probably didn’t care if you were at the shower or not and so didn’t send an invitation or conveniently “forgot” to send one. It sounds like your fiance’s daughter would like you there (she gave your address to her mother and she texted you when she learned you didn’t receive a regular invitation), and so, if you are up for it, go for her benefit and the benefit of your relationship with her. Be cordial to her mother and try to enjoy the shower even though “showers aren’t fun anyway.”
(Update: I received a reply from the LW after I sent her my advice and she said: “I’m not going. I wouldn’t feel right. Why, when things like this happen, do we have to turn the other way and be the better person? I know I’m so much better, but I’m not doing what makes others feel good — not this time.” So mature. What a great way to kick off a relationship with her soon-to-be stepdaughter).
Um, yeah, you WERE NOT WRONG to check on your child’s suicidal father, and your boyfriend is being an immature, uncompassionate dickwad. Why on earth did you move in with him?! Honestly, if I were you, I’d re-evaluate the whole entire relationship, move out, and find someone who behaves like a civil and loving human being. But if you decide to stay with him, you need to accept that he’s just an asshole, that there’s probably another reason you haven’t met his family, and that, sooner or later, you’re going to find out the truth and it won’t be pretty.
Neither. But since you will probably ignore that advice, at the very least keep the felon away from your kid, quit relying on other people to provide for you and your child, and provide for yourself.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.