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I’m finishing up my vacation visiting family in Missouri and heading back to Brooklyn this morning, so I’m leaving this one up to you guys:
I have been struggling for the last five years with feelings of jealousy and inadequacy when comparing myself to my sister-in-law. She looks great, has a great sense of style, and always has lots of friends. Her life has been held up as an “example” by my husband’s family because both my husband and I are introverts and don’t really have any social life. I am decent looking (I’m trying hard to shed some pounds), but am not stylish at all. Secondly, we have been married for seven years and are childless. We only started trying a year ago (due to professional instability, a long-distance marriage for two years, etc., etc.) and we have realized I have serious medical issues. We are starting IVF this month but have kept this a secret from everyone. She has a kid (she got pregnant within one month of trying) who is the first grandchild of the family and so is the center of attention.
My jealousy has become obsessive recently. I deleted my Facebook account because I can’t deal with everyone else having beautiful families and successful lives, but now I have started stalking her online through my husband’s account. Publicly I have tried to always be stand-offish and prevent them from visiting us. This feeling is completely destroying me, it is sapping all my energy, and I am unable to sleep sometimes at night. Please help me. — Jealous of Sister-in-Law