I would love to have a new column for you to read right now but the truth is I haven’t been receiving many letters lately that I find interesting enough to publish. I even went through my “hold” file, filled with several hundred letters I haven’t published and none of them spoke to me either. So I’m going to post a letter from a recent Savage Love column that reminded me of this letter from a couple months back. That will give you something to read and discuss for today, but please, if you have some drama in your life you want some insight on, email me! Bonus if your drama includes toothless groomsmen.
Ok, here’s a letter Dan Savage recently tackled:
Number one question: I texted my sister the only date I wasn’t available in the next two years, which is Columbus Day weekend 2013. I have my 10-year college reunion, which I’ve been organizing. My sister texted me back that they picked this Columbus Day weekend for the wedding even though they have no idea if the places they want will be booked up. It quickly came out that they didn’t check with anyone about potential conflicts. She wants me to be the maid of honor, and I’m not sure what to do. She’s really upset with me. Columbus Day weekend is of no significance to them (it’s not the anniversary of the date they met or anything), and I can’t reschedule the reunion.
Number two question: I was born female but do not identify that way. I’m genderqueer and do not look like a girl. I have not worn a dress in 10 years and feel like I’m in drag in one. In the past, my sister said she would consider putting me in a pantsuit-ish kind of thing at her wedding, which would be great, but I am worried that now I’m rocking the boat too much with this Columbus Day thing and I don’t know if I should just leave it alone. My girlfriend, who is very pretty and feminine, said if I had to wear a dress, she’d go in a suit and bow tie.
Dan, help! If for some reason my sister can’t get her weekend, it will be because they’re rushing and everything is booked, but I have already caused trouble! Is it worth it to fight for the pantsuit thing, or should I just leave it alone and do what she wants? — Thank You So Much
I second Dan’s advice to this woman and would tell her exactly the same thing, especially the part about skipping the sister’s wedding since she didn’t care enough to check date conflicts with her immediate family.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.