Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Juan Pablo Bachelor Guessing Game

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The newest season of “The Bachelor,” starring Juan Pablo, kicks off tomorrow night and it’s basically all Drew can talk about. He is crazy about “The Bachelor.” The TV show, I mean, not Juan Pablo, although I think he’d agree with me that Juan is the best bachelor they’ve had in many seasons, and both of us can’t wait to see what kinda crazy is thrown his way. Drew has a buddy at work, Tony, who is “Bachelor”-obsessed, too, and the two of them routinely text through episodes like sorority sisters and then have Tuesday morning post-show pow-wows that can apparently last as long as the episodes themselves.

This year, Drew and Tony created a game that all of you at home can play, too. I don’t think they have a name for it, but for convenience sake, let’s call it The Bachelor Premiere Guessing Game. What you do is: you go to “The Bachelor” official website and check out the cast of bachelorettes and try to guess who will fit what role this season. The big roles are: The Winner; The Crazy One; The One Everyone Hates (this is usually the one the other girls think is there for the “wrong reasons,” but not always necessarily). Supporting roles include: The One Who’s All “Fuck This shit” And Bails on The Third Episode; The One with a “Big” Secret (you know, like, she’s divorced or she has celiac disease or she’s saving herself for marriage) She Reveals in a Weepy One-on-One Scene in the First Episode; Most Embarrassing Entrance (tells idiotic joke or trips over). You can also create your own categories! Go ahead, it’s fun.

Here are my picks:

The Winner: Victoria

The Crazy One: Lucy

The One Everyone Hates: Cassandra

The One Who’s All “Fuck This shit” And Bails on The Third Episode: Sharleen

The One with a “Big” Secret (i.e. divorce or celiac disease or virgin): Lauren H.

Most Embarrassing Entrance: Amy J.

Most likely to be the best Bachelorette: Andi

Bonus:

Final four: Victoria (winner); Andi; Clare, and Alli

Join me in the forums Sunday evening at 8/7c for live blogging of the season premiere!

15 comments… add one
  • avatar

    TECH January 4, 2014, 4:35 pm

    It’s so funny that Drew is a big “Bachelor” fan! I’ve never been able to get a guy to watch The Bachelor with me (and for that matter, any other trashy, female-centric reality TV shows.) I guess it’s proof that there are guys out there who would watch it!
    I remember when Drew would post some videos on here. I think it would be hilarious to see his Bachelor commentary.

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle January 4, 2014, 6:30 pm

      You’d be surprised the shit dudes watch— my boyfriend made a One Tree Hill reference to me actually yesterday (he was using one of the characters as a parallel to somebody we were talking about), & I was like, “uhh I don’t know what you mean… because I’ve never seen that show…unlike you, who watched it religiously. bahahaha.” AND my dad is another one—when my mom isn’t influencing the channel choices, he’s either watching Lifetime, The Hallmark channel, or cooking reality shows (& he’s like, a big manly man? Works with cars, doesn’t say much unless he’s angry, etc. so it’s just more hilarious to me)

      Anyway, I’ve only seen The Bachelor when my one friend still lived around here, & we’d watch it together, but it is that good kind of “guilty” pleasure, so this DW game makes me want to get back into it!

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      • Cassie

        Cassie B January 5, 2014, 2:48 pm

        Yeah, if you ask him, my husband would say that he doesn’t like those types of shows. And, if I ask him to watch them with me, he’ll say no. But I’ve found that if I just happen to turn it on, he’s more glued to the screen than I am– although he’ll deny it afterwards. We just watched Secret Princes not too long ago, and now he’ll get a chance to tune in to the Bachelor!

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray January 6, 2014, 5:55 am

      No silly it’s a joke, Drew’s not the crazed fan, Wendy is. (Am I the only one who read it like that?)

      Also hi from Argentina! I am having a meet up with JK. This has to be the furthest away (most far away?) meet up ever right?

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  • avatar

    Emily January 4, 2014, 4:44 pm

    “the One everyone hates” can be identified by her war-cry: “I’m not here to make friends!”

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  • avatar

    haggith January 4, 2014, 5:43 pm

    yeah, i think victoria may be the winner because of their similar background (not saying that venezuela = brazil, but as a south american myself i have more affinity with people from the same side of the continent). however, if i were juan pablo, i’d choose sharleen: come on, she likes the royal tenenbaums, spirited away and match point!!!

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  • avatar

    rachel January 4, 2014, 6:00 pm

    I’ve never watched the Bachelor before, but one of the women on this season is a friend of a girl I went to high school with, so I’m kind of curious.

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    • katie

      katie January 4, 2014, 10:33 pm

      Geez I’m 3 degrees separated from reality tv? Kill me now. Lol

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  • Roxy_84

    Roxy_84 January 4, 2014, 7:30 pm

    One of my friends (who is Norwegian) made it to the final four on the Norwegian Bachelor in one of the first couple of seasons. I’ve never really gotten into the show, although a couple of friends who are into it are loving this Juan Pablo guy. So sounds like it might be a good one.

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  • Cassie

    Cassie B January 5, 2014, 2:52 pm

    I went to the page, but I can’t keep any of them straight! Same hairstyle, same makeup, same smiles…

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    • Bubbles

      Bubbles January 5, 2014, 4:39 pm

      Yep it’s hard to keep them straight and didn’t make it past the A’s but I like Alexis so far.

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  • Northern Mermaid

    Northern Mermaid January 5, 2014, 6:39 pm

    I think we should all do DW bachelor contestant style interviews. Complete with matching hairstyles and half smiles.

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  • bittergaymark

    Bittergaymark January 6, 2014, 3:42 am

    Egads, that dude looks as gay as a picnic basket in that production photograph. No wonder he just “happens” to still be single. 😉

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  • Jess

    Jess January 6, 2014, 12:13 pm

    I’m jealous! My husband refuses to be in the same room if this show is on.

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