Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Me, too.

After Alyssa Milano suggested on Twitter on Saturday night that women share their experiences of sexual assault and harassment using the hashtag #MeToo, social media was flooded with their stories. Seeing my own Facebook feed filled with “me, too’s” as well as detailed accounts of sexual harassment and abuse, in addition to support from men (“I believe you,” wrote one), gave me the feels. I’ve been harassed with your regular run-of-the-mill comments on the street more times than I can even begin to remember — hasn’t every woman? — and I was also harassed in junior high and high school school by male teachers (and, of course, by my classmates). In my college internship my “mentor” would not stop inviting me to his home for a private lesson until I finally agreed to go, and then he asked if I’d be interested in dating him. When I said no, he gave me a B- for the semester when I definitely deserved an A. When I was 15, a stranger in an elevator assaulted me, groping me everywhere and twenty-five years later we elected to our highest office someone who bragged about doing that very thing to women. This isn’t even an exhaustive list. But it exhausts me.

18 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Leslie Joan October 16, 2017, 12:45 pm

    I figured it’d be easier if only women who HADN’T been harassed replied, because I honestly don’t know any female who hasn’t been.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      TeacherNerd October 17, 2017, 12:20 pm

      I haven’t, but I’ve hesitated even saying anything because I’m not sure anyone would believe me anyway. (The irony…)

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    MissDre October 16, 2017, 12:51 pm

    Me too.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    LisforLeslie October 16, 2017, 1:27 pm

    @ Leslie Joan – as much I understand where you’re coming from, if you were to carry out your idea, you’d only feed the non-believers.
    “See !? Look at how many women haven’t been assaulted! That means all the women who said they were assaulted are lying or deserved it!”

    And yeah – me too.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Leslie Joan October 16, 2017, 2:46 pm

      Oh, I get it – it’s a very acerbic thought. Because, yeah, me too. And every other woman I know. And it gravels me.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    AmokAmokAmok October 16, 2017, 1:31 pm

    Me too.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Boo Berry Waffles October 16, 2017, 1:57 pm

    In a weird way, it reminds me of the culture around miscarriage. It’s such a closeted and taboo thing to speak of that most women have been socialized to internalize it…right up until another woman speaks about their experience with it. And then the stories come. It’s like permission to speak has been granted. There’s probably a lot of woman oriented topics that have that strange sort of social gatekeeper mentality. That we’re not supposed to burden others with our trauma.

    While it’s horrific that this happened at all to these women, let alone to this magnitude, I’m thankful that there’s a chance for us to speak up about our assaults. Too many people have an idea in their heads about what a victim looks like to them and the reality is that there is no standard for how this looks because it’s just so widespread.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      LisforLeslie October 16, 2017, 2:59 pm

      I’m glad that it’s all coming out – but I have to wonder why? Why now? We’ve been talking about this for decades. Anita Hill springs to mind. So why, even though people have been talking about HW for years are people only taking it seriously now?

      I’m truly curious.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Kate October 16, 2017, 3:08 pm

        Honestly? Probably because it gives conservatives a moral weapon against liberals. They love being able to call out liberal hypocrisy. That and, it’s so MANY huge-name actresses speaking out. But truly, this kind of thing with actresses and young actors has been going on since the dawn of entertainment. I’m sure it pre-dates Hollywood by centuries, if not millennia.

        Link
  • avatar

    K October 16, 2017, 1:58 pm

    Me too.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Anonymousse October 16, 2017, 3:08 pm

    Me, too. I’m not sure I know many women who have never experienced harassment, assault or rape. The thing is, for every single event, there was a perpetrator. I hope those people are reflecting on their behavior, actions, and even those of their friends.

    Reply Link
  • Portia

    Portia October 16, 2017, 3:26 pm

    It is exhausting.

    I appreciated a Facebook friend posting this quote from Lindy West: “I wish women didn’t have to rip our pasts open & show you everything & let you ogle our pain for you to believe us about predation & trauma.”

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Boo Berry Waffles October 16, 2017, 4:01 pm

      That reminds me of Rose McGowan being challenged for proof of her assault and her response “I AM the proof.”

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Keyblade October 16, 2017, 8:45 pm

    #Me too

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    ecwashere October 17, 2017, 7:34 am

    Me too. I hate the fact that as victims we have to vocalize it. As Lindy West stated, we have to rip open our wounds for people to believe us.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Anonymous October 17, 2017, 12:44 pm

    Quick point of order. The woman who actually started the original Me Too campaign is named Tarana Burke. http://metoo.support/

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Sarah October 18, 2017, 8:09 am

    I must be a minority. I haven’t (that I can recall, anyway). This campaign has made me realize how pervasive the problem is.

    Reply Link

Leave a Comment