Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Merry Christmas Open Thread

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Merry Christmas, everyone! I’m going to wrap up the week of posting now so I can enjoy some down time with Drew and Jackson and friends. Jackson and I are home alone today baking Christmas cookies and wrapping gifts and listening to Christmas music. Tomorrow morning will be just the three of us (plus Miles and Simone, of course, who both have their own stockings) for gift-opening and breakfast. I’m going to make biscuits and gravy, a family tradition my mom started years ago. Around noon, our friend Matt is coming over and then we’re headed over to Mary and Steve’s a little later for Christmas dinner. Then, we’re having a little staycation for a few days, enjoying the quiet of the city while most of its residents are somewhere else and before tourists descend upon Times Square to ring in 2015. On Tuesday we’re headed to Missouri to see my family for about a week. Posting will be sporadic until I get back. In the meantime, you can always peruse and post in the forums.

Thank you so much for your support this year. In the almost four years of running DW, this was definitely the most challenging for a variety of reasons and there were a couple of times I didn’t think I’d be able to keep the site going, but with your support we have. And I think we’re finishing strong, too. Thank you for everything β€” for your letters, your Friday links, your comments, your debates, your donations, your affiliate purchases, your part in the DW community, and for helping to make this possible. May you have a wonderful and merry Christmas if you celebrate it and a festive new year. I have high hopes for 2015 and am looking forward to good things to come!! I hope you’re feeling equally optimistic about the year ahead. xox

70 comments… add one
  • avatar

    d2 December 24, 2014, 4:17 pm

    I have been tracking Santa on my computer on NORAD. Santa looks well rested and the reindeer are going strong. Things have been going well so far. πŸ™‚

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    • avatar

      d2 December 24, 2014, 8:26 pm

      Santa and his reindeer have safely made it across the ocean and are now in the western hemisphere, so I am resting easier. πŸ™‚

      Champagne has been flowing at my house. A turkey dinner is up next, then a long walk in the community to look at all the lights. I hope everyone has a nice Christmas!

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray December 24, 2014, 6:34 pm

    Merry Christmas, everyone! I’m in San Diego where the weather is SICK! I’ve been off all week but also working here and there. And let me just say that I really like working from the west coast because conference calls with the east coast start as early as 6 am (today I had a call that early!) which I like because I’m up anyway and then no one others you after 3 pm because they are all off for the evening. These are hours I could get behind! The other reason I like it out here is that when I wake up, there’s already a DW post. And ok the other reason is that sick weather. SICK! Got to go now, my mom is waving a glass of Woodbridge at me. I have to take it, it would be rude to turn down the nice gesture from my old mother.

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray December 24, 2014, 6:35 pm

      *no one bothers you…

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  • Regina Chapman

    Regina Chapman December 25, 2014, 10:07 am

    D’awww. Bless you and your family. And your website. And your thoughtful, compassionate-with-a-dollop-of-snark, advice. And your good taste in clothes, contributors and commenters. Wishing you a GREAT and prosperous 2015!!

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  • Dear Wendy

    Dear Wendy December 25, 2014, 11:25 am

    Merry, merry Christmas, everyone! I have a full belly and a full heart. Jackson has been so much fun this morning, much to my relief (I was worried we’d have a repeat of his birthday morning where he threw his presents across the room and said he didn’t want them). Luckily, he has been appropriately grateful and excited. We spent all day yesterday baking cookies (a good rainy day activity) and delivered them to our local firehouse down the street and then mud to Jackson’s delight (and mine and drew’s) the firemen let jackson climb aboard one of their truck and check it out. I think we’ll make that a family Christmas Eve tradition, as long as we spend it in Brooklyn. It was such a nice way to kick off Christmas without it being all about commercialism.
    .
    Now we’re showering up and getting dressing and about to head out for a family walk to get some fresh air and exercise before heading to our friends’ place in a little bit for a Christmas lunch/dinner. Hope everyone else is having a wonderful day, too!

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray December 25, 2014, 12:22 pm

    Merry Christmas Wendy et al!
    *
    We’ve been up since 4 am! (My nephews are early risers like me). I spent 3 hours keeping them occupied and away from the presents and quiet so all the adults in the house could sleep just a little bit longer! That was my xmas gift to them, ha.
    *
    How are you guys? Also, ahem, Lyra, come here and talk to us…

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    • Regina Chapman

      Regina Chapman December 25, 2014, 1:21 pm

      Lyra? What’s happening with Lyra??

      I know I’m mostly a lurker, but I eh…lurk. So I know Lyra. And like her. You have piqued my interest:)…you evil Santa Addie.

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray December 25, 2014, 12:40 pm

    I’m so evil. I just told my nephews there was another present from Santa that they didn’t see. They came running…. But no extra present. Mwahahahahaha.

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  • Lyra

    Lyra December 25, 2014, 3:04 pm

    Well my news is…Navy Guy and I got engaged last night!!!!!!! He asked me in front of my parents and brother and I said yes!!!! πŸ™‚ It still hasn’t quite set in yet but we are both super super excited!! More to come later, right now I’m at his parents’ house drinking a LOT of wine!! Merry Christmas!!!

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    • avatar

      TheGirlinME December 25, 2014, 3:27 pm

      Oh Lyra! That’s wonderful!! Wishing you all the happiness! I’m so excited for you!! ((HUG))

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    • mylaray

      mylaray December 25, 2014, 3:28 pm

      Oh my gosh that’s so exciting! Congrats!!

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    • Regina Chapman

      Regina Chapman December 25, 2014, 5:19 pm

      OMG I HOPED THAT WAS IT DIDN’T WANT TO JINX IT. OMG!!

      Congratulations and internet hugs! And all the wine!

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    • Regina Chapman

      Regina Chapman December 25, 2014, 5:21 pm

      NB. I forgot to mention that I love how you always talk so lovingly about him. I’m really happy for you guys!

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray December 25, 2014, 5:56 pm

      Congratulations to the future Mrs. NG!

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    • othy

      othy December 25, 2014, 6:09 pm

      Congratulations! That’s so awesome πŸ™‚

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy December 25, 2014, 7:58 pm

      Yay! Congrats!!

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny December 25, 2014, 9:25 pm

      Congrats!

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    • Lyra

      Lyra December 25, 2014, 10:41 pm

      Thanks all!!! It’s just starting to set in now. πŸ™‚

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    • avatar

      d2 December 25, 2014, 11:26 pm

      Oh wow! Congratulations!

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    • coconot

      coconot December 26, 2014, 9:58 am

      Congrats Lyra!

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    • avatar

      Mr. Cellophane December 26, 2014, 10:50 am

      Congrats! I had a feeling this was coming.

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    • Lyra

      Lyra December 26, 2014, 11:00 am

      To answer some questions that I’m sure you guys have, I had a good idea this was coming for a while. He brought up the timeline discussion a few months ago and I sent him pictures of engagement rings that I love right after that plus my ring size. He ended up buying a simple white gold band with a diamond solitaire, which of course is gorgeous as is. Staying in our budget is very important to both of us and since he is finishing up school I didn’t want him to go into a crazy amount of debt just to buy me a ring. I’m sure we’ll look at some blingy wedding bands too. πŸ˜‰
      .
      My mom had an idea this might be coming, but my dad and brother were pretty surprised. He had told his parents that he had bought the ring. Both our families are excited about it and very happy for us, as are our friends. My BFF knew about this because I told her a few months ago when our “talk” happened. I also gave him her number to get a second opinion if he got stuck.
      .
      And right now he’s making me coffee and breakfast. I picked a good one!! πŸ™‚

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      • Bubbles

        Bubbles December 26, 2014, 4:48 pm

        Oh YAY!!! What great news!! So happy and excited for you. Blessings to you and yours in the coming year πŸ˜€

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      • Lyra

        Lyra December 27, 2014, 10:09 am

        Thank you Bubbles!! πŸ™‚

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray December 27, 2014, 10:49 am

        Tell us more! Have you set a date? Who will be your maid of honor and bridesmaids? Are you going to have sex now? What will your colors be? (What!?! I tried.)

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      • Lyra

        Lyra December 27, 2014, 9:26 pm

        We are working on a date — hopefully next August or September! There are a couple calls to be made on Monday. Well, it’s mostly me, but he’s ok with handing me the reins with most of the planning. Once I get the date nailed down I will ask my 3 best friends to be bridesmaids, including my high school BFF to be my maid of honor. I think she has a good idea that I’m going to ask her…I’ve known who I wanted to be my maid of honor since I was in high school! Haha. Anyway, I may ask a college friend to be a 4th bridesmaid, but I’m not sure yet. NG will ask his brothers, and we will probably have my brother as a groomsman as well. My main color will likely be a deep purple. We’re not having sex yet no, but I think now we’re more open to experimenting — he’s just as inexperienced as me, so we’re taking things pretty slowly physically.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra December 27, 2014, 9:27 pm

        I’m an open book so if you guys (ahem, AP) have more questions ask away! πŸ™‚

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray December 28, 2014, 8:30 am

        Yay! Ok, ok … Shoot, give me the platform to ask nosy questions and my brain goes mush! … But here goes:
        *
        1. How did he propose? But, I mean, specifically, give us the details. Like, where were you? What room? What time was it? Who was present? Did he have a little speech for you and then he got down on one knee? (Or, like, did you turn around and there he was on one knee?) What did he say? What did you say? Did you cry? Did he cry? Did your mom cry? What did you do in the 5 minutes immediately after? (Yes, this is all just 1 question, ha.)
        *
        2. So I gather he did not ask your dad since you mentioned your dad was surprised. Did you expect or want him to ask your dad? Is that something pre-engaged couples talk about (i.e., “boyfriend, when we get married, ask my dad for my hand in marriage”)?
        *
        3. SEX! Are you going to wait until your actual wedding night to do it? Are you going to work your way up to “everything but” prior to the wedding night? Is that your goal? Is that his goal? Wait, *are* there sex goals? Do you talk about sex stuff other than wanting to wait until you’re married?
        *
        4. What, if anything, are your worries/concerns/fears about sex? Are you scared at all that he might not be able to have sex or that he might not like it and then you’ll have an unfulfilled sex life FOR LIFE?! It may be a silly concern but I ALWAYS have that concern when I like someone and we’ve started dating yet but haven’t done it yet. I think” “oh shit, I’m really liking this guy, but what if sex is not good, oh god, oh god, please don’t let that be the case, ahhhhhh!” (I know, kind of silly, but when things are going so well it’s like “well surely SOMETHING will go wrong.”) So when I hear people wait until marriage, my first thought is “uh oh, what if it doesn’t work?!” So I’m very impressed by your willpower – I wouldn’t last a day. But if I’m being honest, that’s my fear – WHAT IF IT DOESN’T WORK!?!?
        *
        5. Um, have you felt it hard? (Ok, I’m done!) Side story, my good friend C waited to have sex with her now husband for maybe 3-4 months – actually maybe it was longer, like 5-7 months. So naturally during those first few months we were all concerned that maybe her now husband couldn’t have sex. (I don’t know why THAT is our first concern, we’re stupid.) But C said she also hadn’t really felt a hard-on during heaving petting. (God, the phrase “heavy petting” is icky. Let the record show I am really hating myself with this whole post.) Anyhoo, we worried maybe it was SUPER DUPER TINY. Well, eventually she saw his penis and allegedly it is 9.5 inches long and 6.5 inches in girth. (They measured it, and C tells us everything, ha.) So one day for a visual we took a family-size pack of cookie dough and molded it until a penis with those dimensions and YOWZERS, the thing could kill you. So know what ended up happening? Their sex life was terrible for along time because IT WAS TOO BIG. They only had sex a couple of times over the next couple of years. So I guess let’s add that to my worries for L: that NG is too big it could puncture a lung. …
        *
        Ok, ok, I’m done! Sorry. I hate myself. Happy Sunday morning!

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      • Lyra

        Lyra December 28, 2014, 11:03 am

        Hahahaha, oh AP.
        .
        To answer some of your questions…he asked in front of my parents and brother. He had wrapped the ring as a gift and gave it to me to add to my pile. Like I said, I was 95% sure I knew what was coming, and I kept on thinking about if I should make him wait and open it last or if I should be nice and open it first. I decided to open it first. He was sitting next to me on the couch and he actually was too nervous to get on one knee (I asked him to do it later just because and he did). He took my hands (I was sobbing of course) and asked me to marry him. πŸ™‚ My mom was crying a bit, and my dad and brother were pretty cool overall through the entire thing.
        .
        He didn’t ask my dad and I’m actually glad that he didn’t. Even if he had, he said it would have just been a formality because obviously I can make my own decisions. Once my mom had an idea that this might be coming, she apparently tried to steer my dad to recognize it as well, but he’s kind of dense sometimes haha. My ex always said he would ask my dad, and quite honestly I doubt he would have received the go ahead — my dad didn’t like the ex very much.
        .
        As for sex things…we’re both trying to educate ourselves on things since we’re both super inexperienced. We talk about it every once in a while. We’ve talked about expectations and what type of sex we are looking forward to and whatnot. He’s…ummm…fairly well endowed, so no worries about being too small hah. Funny story, one of my college friends was dating this guy when we were in school and she said she reached in his pants and there was like…nothing there. So she nicknamed him “baby carrot” for obvious reasons. Now apparently he has a kid so he figured things out obviously, but it’s HILARIOUS when she tells the story.
        .
        We’re taking things one day at a time. We both have a lot of patience and I would say we are overall pretty good at communication. Plus I have friends who waited too and I’ve been talking with them to get some ideas. I’m educating myself, slowly but surely. πŸ™‚

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray December 28, 2014, 1:04 pm

        Awesome! And thanks for humoring me. Ok last question (for now): can I plan the entire wedding? I’ve got great ideas!

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      • Lyra

        Lyra December 28, 2014, 1:06 pm

        Haha Kate is already helping me with the fashion aspects of it! Message me on Facebook and let me know your ideas. πŸ™‚

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      • Cleopatra_30

        Cleopatra_30 December 28, 2014, 7:16 pm

        Oh that sounds like a really sweet way to propose πŸ™‚ I am so glad you are happy πŸ™‚ Enjoy the pre-wedding bliss!

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    • Portia

      Portia December 26, 2014, 10:42 pm

      Congrats Lyra!!!

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    • mandalee

      mandalee December 27, 2014, 2:06 pm

      Congratulations!!

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    • Classic

      Classic December 27, 2014, 6:15 pm

      Congratulations Lyra!

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  • mylaray

    mylaray December 25, 2014, 3:31 pm

    I’m in snowy St. Petersburg having a nice quiet holiday. I haven’t been back to Russia in years and my husband has never been so it was very sweet he planned this surprise trip. I hope everyone has a great Christmas and new year!

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy December 25, 2014, 7:59 pm

      How fun!

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    • Lyra

      Lyra December 25, 2014, 10:46 pm

      Surprise trip to St. Petersburg sounds so lovely!!! Have fun!!!

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  • Bubbles

    Bubbles December 26, 2014, 4:58 pm

    Did things a little differently this year. We normally spend Xmas Eve at my mom’s in L.A. and then Xmas at home with my adult kids. This year my daughter needed a ride to LAX on Xmas evening as she was heading to London for a few days and then ringing in 2015 in Dublin, so we spent Xmas Eve at my eldest son’s house with my DIL (who is 5 months pregnant with grandson!! YAY), granddaughter, son and daughter.

    Xmas afternoon we went to my mom’s in L.A. (about 70 miles west of where we live) and got to see a few of my siblings along with some nephews that also didn’t make it there on 24th.

    My counsin’s daughter got engaged Xmas night (YAY) and my daughter’s good friend also got engaged. So excited for the upcoming weddings in 2015.

    Wishing everyone a Happy weekend πŸ˜€

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  • Portia

    Portia December 28, 2014, 2:45 pm

    Lyra’s not the only one who got engaged over the holiday… πŸ˜‰

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    • Lyra

      Lyra December 28, 2014, 2:47 pm

      Ahhhhh!!!!!! Congrats, Portia!!! πŸ™‚

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    • LadyinPurpleNotRed

      LadyinPurpleNotRed December 28, 2014, 3:21 pm

      More details please!!

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      • Portia

        Portia December 28, 2014, 3:41 pm

        Lol, OK. This all went down last night. We were playing Boggle (a fairly common occurrence over here) and I was winning big. Then I was getting something (maybe a drink refill, I had made us some fancy cocktails) and Bassanio went into the bedroom. When he came out, he had already shaken up the boggle and I accused him of rigging it (I am the worst with surprises, I usually ruin them), but he said just go with it. So we started another game and he’d made it spell out “marry me.” So I looked at him and he had a ring box.
        .
        It was very sweet and pretty perfect for us (we’ve been playing Boggle since the early days of our relationship). Apparently he’s had the idea for a long time, maybe a year and a half, and told no one. He was very nervous. And the ring is pretty.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra December 28, 2014, 3:57 pm

        That’s adorable! πŸ™‚ Navy Guy wasn’t overly creative with his proposal and I think that mostly was because he was SO nervous about it. Do you keep on looking at your sparkly ring? Because I *may* do that a lot…

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      • Portia

        Portia December 28, 2014, 4:16 pm

        Lol, it’s more like I accidentally see it on my hand and I’m like, what?? oh right, cause I’m not used to anything there.

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      • Portia

        Portia December 28, 2014, 4:17 pm

        Bassanio has said “sparkly!” more than I have, I think. I’ve rolled it back and forth for him when he says that. It is sparkly…

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      • Lyra

        Lyra December 28, 2014, 4:29 pm

        Love the sparklies!!! NG felt bad that he couldn’t afford something more sparkly — which is admittedly what I wanted — but it’s more important to us both that we stay within budget. Plus, now I can look at sparkly wedding bands!!! πŸ˜€

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      • Portia

        Portia December 28, 2014, 4:49 pm

        Oh totally, go for sparkly wedding bands! And I agree that it’s way more important that he stayed within the budget, that says so much more about your relationship that something a bit more sparkly would.

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      • othy

        othy December 28, 2014, 4:21 pm

        That is awesome! Congratulations!

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      • Portia

        Portia December 28, 2014, 8:53 pm

        Thanks!

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      • Portia

        Portia December 28, 2014, 4:30 pm

        Also, I don’t know how to describe the ring because I don’t know jewelry, but I think it looks like how the Hope diamond looks in its setting. It’s a sapphire with little diamonds around it and down the side a little. I’m going to investigate this week and compare the two… Since I live in DC and the Hope diamond is right there and all.

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      • Portia

        Portia December 28, 2014, 4:56 pm

        Almost forgot! After that we drank a fancy bottle of champagne then got pizza for Bassanio (second dinner). It was delicious and fun.

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      • avatar

        d2 December 28, 2014, 9:46 pm

        Celebrate with pizza and champagne – I would totally do that! Congratulations! That was a sweet story how it happened.

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      • othy

        othy December 28, 2014, 10:51 pm

        Sounds like my after-wedding dinner on my wedding night!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray December 28, 2014, 7:11 pm

        Congratulations, Portia! Two DW engagemenrs, how exciting. Also, Portia, I love boggle! Also I’m the best ever at it…. Wanna play with (and lose to) me? Dun dun dun! Come on, let’s play Scramble with Friends….

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      • Portia

        Portia December 28, 2014, 8:53 pm

        Lol, you’re on! What is this Scramble?

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray December 28, 2014, 9:06 pm

        it’s online boggle! come on let’s play. except we need to be FB friends. hmm…

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      • Portia

        Portia December 28, 2014, 10:11 pm

        I commandeered the email address [email protected] a little while back, email me and we’ll make Facebook friending happen…

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy December 28, 2014, 7:47 pm

        Awww, congrats!! That’s so sweet.

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      • Portia

        Portia December 28, 2014, 8:52 pm

        Thanks! πŸ™‚

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    • avatar

      Christy December 28, 2014, 7:19 pm

      Ahh!!! Congratulations!! (I already congratulated Lyra on Facebook but you haven’t posted publically so I’ll avoid outing you or looking like a total creeper.)

      Yay proposals! You guys have been together so long!

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      • Portia

        Portia December 28, 2014, 8:48 pm

        Thanks! It’ll be up on Facebook tomorrow, so you’ll be able to creep then, lol….

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    • Portia

      Portia December 28, 2014, 9:20 pm

      Bassanio says thanks for all the well wishes too!

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  • something random

    something random December 29, 2014, 9:22 am

    Congratulations to both Portia and Lyra!

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    • Lyra

      Lyra December 30, 2014, 6:58 pm

      Thank you, something random!! πŸ™‚

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    • Portia

      Portia December 30, 2014, 7:46 pm

      Thanks!

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  • Lianne

    Lianne December 30, 2014, 2:54 pm

    Congrats, Portia and Lyra! What exciting Christmas gifts πŸ™‚

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    • Lyra

      Lyra December 30, 2014, 6:57 pm

      Thanks, Lianne!! πŸ™‚

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    • Portia

      Portia December 30, 2014, 7:47 pm

      Thanks! I told him not to get me anything big this year, lol…

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