It really became apparent for me when others noticed too. My family and friends have privately told me that I am “too pretty” to be with him, and although it hurts, I see truth in their words. This is the first guy who has really put so much effort into me; yet, I still look for more attractive guys. This guy talks of marrying me, and I am scared the feelings I have will never go away. I want to love and be loved, but I can’t seem to overcome the fact that he doesn’t complement me in the same ways I do him.
On the other hand, am I too blind to see what I am giving up, is he truly the right one for me? I make my own money, have a full-time job, and am almost finished with school. I feel like my life is finally coming together, but I just feel as though this one aspect is missing in my life. I want to have a deep sensual love that I believe everyone deserves. Please, please help me. — A Shallow Bitch
You don’t sound like a “shallow bitch” so much as you sound sort of not so bright. Why would you think this guy is “truly the right one” for you when the thought of kissing him repulses you? Why does it “hurt” to hear the “truth” that you’re simply “too pretty” for your boyfriend? What does that even mean? Too pretty for what? Do you think if you were less pretty, then you’d enjoying kissing and having sex with your boyfriend? Maybe, instead of your being “too pretty,” the problem is actually that you don’t have chemistry with your boyfriend. Does that sound plausible? Maybe?
Look, if a “deep, sensual love” is what you’re looking for — hell, if sex that doesn’t feel like a nightmare is appealing to you — then you have to break up with your boyfriend. But don’t blame your incompatibility — or nightmare sex! — on your being “too pretty.” Unless you’re an actress auditioning for the role of the mousy third sister in a period drama on PBS, there’s probably nothing you’re truly “too pretty” for.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.