I’ve always felt that he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend. He dated her for only a year and had no problem telling her he loved her. During the times we have broken up, he has received texts from her and seen her at events that they both were invited to. He is best friends with her brother-in-law and sister, and he went to her grandma’s funeral. It could have been to support his friends, but it also could have been to support her. Part of me feels they hooked up while we were apart. I wanted proof that he will one day feel the same way about me that he feels about her. Do you think I’m overreacting and thinking too much into the situation? — No Key to His Heart
I think you’re desperate for a sign that your boyfriend feels more strongly about you than you believe he does. He has not given you that sign and it’s been three years. Three years and multiple breakups, no “I love you”, no commitment, no trust, no hope that he sees a future with you? Oh honey, MOA. The new year is right around the corner. Make a resolution that you’ll give up this guy for good and won’t waste time on a guy who can’t clearly return your feelings after several months, let alone several years, of dating.
You’re a mother, for God’s sake, so stop with this high school-level cray and move on already. Three or four breakups in as many years, multiple cheating in which you seem to forgive without rebuilding trust, and snooping around on social media, creating fake profiles like you’re some sort of undercover special eye? No. This is not how a grown woman — and mother! — should behave. You clearly don’t trust this guy (and for good reason!). You do not seem well-matched or committed to each other. Work on being good co-parents and give your daughter the gift of stability and two parents who were mature enough to accept that they are better off not trying to force a romantic relationship that just doesn’t work. That’s the longer answer. The shorter answer is: Yes, you’re crazy for still being with him.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.