The other item he mentioned was that he was interested in much younger women, and that older women held no attraction for him. He hates haggard older women, especially if they’re no good in bed. I happen to know that he was friends with a girl 20 years his junior, and that he had rejected her mother. Over time, I found out he had multiple sexual partners. Safe sex seems unlikely from what he has said.
We were on a cruise once and had an argument because he mistakenly thought I was phoning another man. I was not; I was listening to a message from work. He went completely mad, accusing me of being disloyal to him. He then told me he was going to F*%# very woman he could lay his hands on.
After this, he flew into tempers frequently. I am still seeing him when he calls me and that is usually during the week, when his real girl is at work (although I work, too), and in the evenings.
The whole thing has ruined my self-esteem. I feel obsessed with him and unable to move on.
Are there any good books you could recommend for self help? — Obsessed with an Asshole
You’ve spent six years with a man who says terrible things to you all the time, sleeps with God knows how many women while exposing you to countless diseases, and has regular temper tantrums. You are beyond the stage of self-help books. You need real, psychological help and possibly some sort of 12-step program. You’re addicted to this man who you KNOW is no good for you and yet you keep going back for more and more. There’s really not much I can tell you or that you can read in a book that is going to undo whatever damage there has been to your self-esteem over the years to bring you to this point. You need someone who will meet with you on a regular basis over many weeks/months/years to get to know your story, help you unpack some of your issues, and give you the tools to move on from this awful relationship and live your life to its fullest potential. And until you make the commitment to make your emotional and mental health a priority, this man will continue to take advantage of you, chiseling away at your self-esteem until there’s nothing left and you’re but a shell of the woman you could be. Come on, love yourself better.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.