This story sounds ridiculous, but it’s all true. We were married in an outdoor wedding chapel that was covered but had columns instead of actual walls. Apparently, because we were not indoors, my BIL thought it would be acceptable to light up his tobacco pipe. This was about 25 minutes before my wedding ceremony, when guests were being seated. My DH told him to take it out of the chapel because he didn’t want the smoke triggering my asthma. His brother, while lacking the good sense to not smoke in the middle of a group of people in a wedding chapel, agreed and took it outside. My MIL then started yelling at DH, telling him that BIL needed to come back up for “family photos” and he could keep the pipe if he wanted to. DH once again told her about my asthma and that his brother could rejoin them when he was done smoking. She then yelled back that she “deserved to be included” and, again, told BIL to come back up for the photos. (Besides the smoking and general stupidity, he had no part of all of this and stayed put). DH responded that she was included, but just because she didn’t get to plan our wedding like she wanted to, this last minute power-grab wasn’t going to happen.
At this point, for SOME reason, BIL’s fiancée jumped in and started screaming at DH, too, about how they deserve to be treated better, how he’s an asshole, and other profanities. His sister jumped in, too, and they were all yelling at him. BIL didn’t do anything either way. It escalated to his fiancée yelling “the c-word,” at which point DH threw her out of our wedding and told her not to come back until she could keep her mouth shut. MIL left then, too, with DH’s sister, but they came back before anything started. BIL stayed outside and watched the ceremony with his damned pipe. (At this point, I was with my bridesmaids and our photographer. I had no idea any of this happened.) The best part of this, for me, is that MIL was trying to take all the family photos without me. I had the photographer, and we requested family photos after the ceremony, as is customary when someone joins your family.
I didn’t know any of this until later, because DH asked everyone to let me enjoy my wedding and not let his family’s drama ruin it for me. His mother did come back for the ceremony, as did his sister. BIL and his bitch fiancée never made it back, and they skipped our reception and after-party (not that she would have been welcome without apologies to us and to our friends for acting like such a gigantic ass). I realized something was off when I only saw his sister at the cocktail hour, but I was told that I would get details the next day or two. MIL came back later, and SIL apologized for her behavior. MIL apparently felt bad for BIL’s fiancée because, well, “she’s under a lot of stress planning her own wedding,” which is why people apparently yell the c-word at other people’s weddings. The truth is that my husband is her least favorite out of all of her children, and she doesn’t even try to hide it.
Here is my problem: besides the fact that these trashy assholes tried to ruin my wedding and humiliated DH and me in front of our “chosen family,” they’re blaming DH for everything that they did! He is the family’s scapegoat because he was the only one who would ever apologize for or own negative behavior. Now, whenever there is a situation, it’s always DH’s fault, even if he’s not involved whatsoever (which is GREAT for his anxiety disorder, which I’m sure these people caused).
His sister tried to get him to talk it out with his mother because she’s “family.” I am trying to be more mature than BIL’s 32-year-old fiancée, who posted negative crap on Facebook right after DH threw her out, but honestly, I can’t take the “high road” with these people and forgive them anymore. I’m obviously going to support my husband in what he wants to do, which is ban them from our lives, but a large part of me is just so pissed off that BIL and his fiancée are going to get their picture-perfect wedding without the family erupting into the Jerry Springer show. I’m actually irate thinking about how they get to have their “special day” after ruining ours. How can I let these people know that what they did was fucked up, and that they need to take accountability for it? — Irate Bride
Hmm, you know, something tells me their “special day” isn’t going to be without its own family drama. But if you really want to make an impression, you could send the happy couple a wedding gift of his-and-her pipes with a note that says: “Holy smokes, you two make quite a pair!”
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