“First offense” or not, your new husband violated your under-aged daughter during one of the most personal and private of moments. And you’re going to allow him to continue sharing a bed with you? Continue living under the same roof as the young person he violated? I am sure you must be in shock right now, so I’ll spell it out for you clearly: this is not a man who should be allowed around your daughter, period.
Can you ever imagine having to share a home with a man who took photos of you against your will as you were climbing out of the shower? Your job as a mother is to provide a safe and loving home for your daughter and making her live in a home where she’s been violated is not doing that. Kick out your husband, seek some therapy, talk to a lawyer, and consider having your marriage annulled.
I know those aren’t the words you want to hear, but they’re the words you need to hear. I don’t care if you’ve known this person since high school and this is out of character for him, a man who would violate a young person — well, any person — like that even once is not a good or healthy man. He’s not a man a nice woman would want to call “husband.” And he’s definitely not a man a loving mother would make a step-father for her children. Please do not subject your daughter to this person. Protect her. It’s your job.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.