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I just came back from a vacation in Singapore and was very sad about something I discovered upon my return. When I entered my apartment, I saw that it was quite a mess with glasses all over and the cushions all out of place. I knew that my boyfriend, who has keys to my place, had some of his friends over for those crazy video games, which honestly I didn’t mind at all. What really bothered me was when I got to my bedroom and noticed that it was in a bit of dissaray and that there were some hairs on the floor.

I immediately made an inspection on the bed and saw that there are some strands of long hair in the pillow and in the bed sheet. I know those are not my hair for the following reasons:

1. I have short hair.
2. Before I left my place, I had cleaned it thoroughly.

I immediately phoned him and asked if there was a girl who came to my apartment – which he denied. He got upset with me, saying that I have judged him in this regard. I wanted to believe him, but I can’t shake the feeling that I am right to think that he did bring a girl into my place and had sex with her.

I don’t know what to do. Should I insist on what I feel is the truth? Should I break up with him? — Short-Haired Girl

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unnamedDear Wendy readers are some of the most intelligent, stylish, super cool people around (it’s a proven fact), so, when a commenter suggested I create a regular feature for them to recommend some of their favorite products, it was a no-brainer and Reader Recs was born. Today’s recommendations come from Rickipedia, who lives with her fella, “the Comedian,” in Pittsburgh, along with a noisy little Finch. To unwind from her insane job, she makes quilts, drinks wine, and reads a lot about the salaciousness of Elizabethan England and the history of the Papacy. She sings in a garage band, has officiated a bunch of her friends’ weddings, and she likes booze, comedy, and yoga. Fall is her favorite season and she’s happy it’s here. Because for some reason she didn’t want a picture of her splashed on a random website, she is sharing instead this photo of some giraffes she got to pet and feed over the summer. Keep reading for some of her favorite recommendations.

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I’m a 22-year-old gay male in Illinois who has recently ended a short-term relationship that lasted about two months. “Ken” and I met online and things moved pretty fast. He has two younger daughters, and I found out early in the relationship that he is still married to the mother of his children. He said he was getting a divorce. Before him, I was with my former partner, “Keith,” for four years. We had been split for about a year before I met Ken.

My relationship with Ken was fine until one day he decided to break up with me through a text message. The night before this event, we didn’t argue, but he seemed very nervous and edgy. He was drinking and smoking, which he never did. He broke up with me because he said he thought I wasn’t over my ex. A week later, which was a month ago, we met up to exchange the rest of the belongings. When I saw him then, he looked like he wanted to cry.

A week later I texted him to check up on him, and he confessed that he broke up with me because people were telling him to give things another try with his wife. We agreed that we did move a little too fast and that we would try and move more slowly. We agreed to meet up and catch up, but that never happened because there is an excuse for everything to not see me. He has leukemia and now he’s saying that he’s too sick to talk to me, yet he’s going out to functions. When I caught him in a lie, he said that he’s feeling better. I know he does really have leukemia, but that’s not the only excuse. He said he’s busy at work and now it’s his daughter getting her tonsils removed.

Is it me or are there too many coincidences going on? He won’t even call or text me back. We only talk on Facebook. He did admit that he was making excuses to not see me, but he won’t explain why. He said he is not back together with anyone. I don’t know whether to call it quits or what. It’s just terrible for me because, as a gay male, it’s very hard to find the right guy and I wasn’t ready to let this one go. What should I do? — Not Ready to Call it Quits

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After two years of checking the real estate ads religiously (like, on a near daily basis) and sending Drew links of all the different places I could picture us living and daydreaming of the next place we’ll call home, I finally convinced him that our lives would totally be perfect if we moved, and over the weekend, between dodging rainstorms and hosting a birthday party for 12 toddlers and their families, we signed the lease on our next apartment. We move in a few weeks. The new place isn’s far at all — just 2 1/2 blocks from our current spot, and we aren’t buying it (just renting), and, really, our lives won’t change that much (and in some respects, we will be sacrificing comforts and amenities we love, like our terrace and a second shower we don’t have to share with a young child who could poop in the tub at any time, not that he has or would ever do that, but it’s a CHANGE and it’s a move forward and it’s something I have been wanting for two years and I’m so excited. [click to continue…]



This week in the forums we’re discussing:

What are the good parts of having kids?

“My Long-distance Girlfriend Dumped Me. Should I Surprise Visit Her??”

Anyone on Etsy?

Just a General Gripe/Observation – Re: Other Peoples’ Hobbies

“My Boyfriend is Useless Since Our Baby was Born Prematurely”

Losing my best friend to a girl

Affordable bedroom furniture?

Puppy advice/help

The Real Dangers of Telling Girls They’re Pretty

Pinocchio Update!


Boston/NH/New England: Friday, Oct 24th

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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com.

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