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It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Missing Hello Kitty” the woman in Germany whose military boyfriend moved back to the states. She visited him a few times and bought lavish gifts for him, as well as some products to keep at his place, such as “some clothes, an xbox, and a Hello Kitty toaster with matching microwave.” He asked her to come visit for their 2-year anniversary, but then, just a few days later, he told her he’d met someone else. Aside from being upset that he dumped her and moved on so quickly, she wanted to know how to get her stuff back without seeming just desperate to talk to him. Keep reading to see if they ever talked again and whether Hello Kitty is safely back in her possession.

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I recently got engaged to my boyfriend of eight years. We started dating freshman year of college when, at the time, he had just broken up senior year with his HS girlfriend, whom he also claimed was his best friend. They had broken up with the mutual agreement that they were both going off to college and it couldn’t work. I should note that, prior to their dating, his ex seriously dated one of his friends whom she later got back with in college and broke up with a year or two ago.

Initially (eight years ago), I was very uncomfortable with their friendship. This was a girl who would reach out to him all the time saying publicly on Facebook that she loved and missed him. He assured me it was nothing and insisted I meet her to get to know her. I met her and had an instinct that this girl was not one I could trust. I told him carefully how uncomfortable I was with their friendship, and, after much quarreling, he finally told her she needed to cool it with the messages.

Throughout the years my boyfriend has been extremely committed to me, but I have always mentioned that, if he planned to keep in touch with her, I would just like to know. Twice before he has hid going to see her: one time at her house and now, two weeks ago, she reached out on Facebook to wish him congratulations on our engagement and he asked her for her number and started texting her to meet up and catch up. He deleted all of his messages and I found out.

My problem with this whole scenario is that he claims she means absolutely nothing to him but he has consistently hid meeting up with her over the years. I know they don’t keep in touch on a regular basis, but this lack of trust I have in him is not good. He is extremely apologetic and understands the seriousness of how upset I am with him.

Am I crazy? Is he still not over her? Or is this just innocent old friends wanting to catch up? — Crazy Fiancée?

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Yesterday was Drew’s and my fifth anniversary and we had plans to go out tomorrow night to celebrate, but I wanted to do something special for him and celebrate on our actual anniversary, too, so I surprised him with a night out and we had such a good time. In the morning, he gave me a beautiful bracelet and a gift certificate for a massage, which was all a surprise since we don’t usually do anniversary gifts, and I told him that his gift “hadn’t arrived yet,” which was true. Then, that evening, our sitter arrived at about 6:30 and he said, “Oh, I think there’s a mistake?” And I said, “No! your gift has arrived!” And I whisked him away for some drinks and dinner. It wasn’t super grand or anything — we actually ended up just hanging out at a neighborhood bar we like a lot that has a little patio where we sat and watched the sunset and had cocktails and sandwiches — but Drew seemed to appreciate the little surprise and it felt so luxurious to get a night out knowing we’d be going out again in two days. Plus, there were oysters.

Tomorrow night, we’re going out again — this time to a real dinner and then to listen to music. Other than that, I don’t think we have any solid plans for the weekend. Maybe we’ll take Jack to Coney Island. When we took him last year, he didn’t care for it but a year makes a big difference in the life of a toddler. Which reminds me: Jackson has hit a couple milestones this week; he is finally riding a trike with finesse, AND he’s going to the bathroom multiple times a day, usually without any prompting from us (he just says he has to go and that’s it). I’ve been bribing him with dinosaur gummis and they seem to be doing the trick. Very exciting stuff in the Condellberry household.

Anyway, happy weekend! What are you all up to?


Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

Guy records his mom and aunt’s conversations, then lip syncs them with his cousin. Hilarity ensues. [via 22 Words]

“Multiple Lovers, Without Jealousy” [via The Atlantic]

“The Wisdom of the Moving Man” [via NYTimes]

“My fertility envy: Watching other women get pregnant stirs insane jealousy in me. And I already have a kid” [via Salon]

“The Modern American Man, Charted” [via NPR]

“I’m Estranged From My Mother — But I’m OK With It” [via XO Jane]

“Liminal Mother: On Nannying and Love” [via The Toast]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
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