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The following essay is written by guest contributor, Gina D.

I met James during our mutual friend’s graduation party at a park the day after I finished high school in May, 2013. After everyone else at the party left, he and I hung around, talking and laughing until very late. We saw each other again a couple of days later for a proper date, and we have been together ever since.

About a month and a half ago, the two of us were sitting at a table in a park late at night. He told me, “I’m really happy with you. I don’t want it to end.”

“It’s not going to,” I responded. He gave a funny little smile, got on his knee, and asked me to marry him. Although we’d decided mutually that we wanted to be engaged, the proposal, and actually being engaged, was so exciting, especially since it was all happening with him in particular. James is honestly the best guy I know. He’s kind and generous, super smart, and wickedly funny. I often think of how unbelievable it is that someone like him loves me as much as I have grown to love him. Having James in my life makes me feel warm.

There is one little thing, though. James isn’t only James. He’s also Paul, a logically-driven worrywart, and Craig, a sexy Southern bad boy. There’s also the shy and quiet Stanley and the elusive Hector. To put it plainly, James’s brain is home to more than one personality. [click to continue…]


This week in the forums, we’re discussing:

“My Boyfriend Got Me a Cheap Gift!”

Sex and dating someone new

Finances and relationships

Is it normal for boyfriend not to call and/or text everyday?


“How Can I Win My Wife Back?”

“My Brother is Ruining My Life”

My Boyfriend’s Mum hates me

Decorating and organizing resources

On and off relationship advice needed please

Put in check by a children’s book

Emergency School/Kid Help!

Follow along on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com.



I’m only seventeen years old, so you’re probably wondering why I’m worried about relationships instead of school. Well, this boy has been my best friend for almost five years and my boyfriend for almost three. His mother and I fell into not getting along when she decided to gang up on him for spending too much time with me. His mother and I had a few words, later resulting in him dumping me. We stayed away from each other for a while and I even dropped out of high school to pursue earning my GED and beginning college early.

We’re now back together, so it seems. We are sexually active, text each other daily, and he tells me he loves me. The only thing that is different is he does not want his friends, parents, or anyone to know that we are back together. I asked him why and he claims he needs no labels and to be out of a relationship for now because he needs to find himself first. Every now and then he tells me he is not happy and tries to re-break up with me, but then decides not to and tells me he’s just confused. He is also covering his phone up constantly and acts as if it cannot be anywhere near me. It was never like that when we were official. I know things were said in our break up, but if he wants me, why is he ashamed to tell his friends? Or is he keeping his options open? He won’t even tell his parents, and he sneaks around to see me. This hurts me more than anything and I need help on what to do. — Good Enough for Him?

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Wendy’s Weekly Picks,” is a feature in which I’ll highlight stuff I like or recommend in the worlds of fashion, gift ideas, home decor, makeup, websites, entertainment, and recipes. Of course, many of the stuff I link to will be affiliate products, which means I’ll receive a commission on any click-throughs or purchases you make through the affiliate links. As always, I appreciate your support! Here are my favorite finds this week:

My best friend, Chad, came to visit over the weekend from Chicago and he brought a beautiful Patch NYC candle as a housewarming gift. The one he brought is called “Stag” and smells like “Siberian fir, cilantro, citrus and a touch of raspberry” and just might be the best-smelling candle ever. I imagine all the candles in the line are equally lovely though. What a perfect housewarming or host gift or stocking stuffer.

Over the weekend, we went to a holiday party and I wore these shoes (in the light gold). I’m not going to lie — they weren’t the most comfortable heels ever, but they looked good and were exactly the right amount of gold shimmer I was going for (after looking and looking and trying on many other shoes first). Here’s a picture of the top portion of my outfit — you’ll have to imagine the perfect amount of gold shimmer on the bottom.

In addition to the heels, I wore these pantyhose to the holiday party Saturday night. “Buff” was the right color for my skin tone, but with an assortment of shades, you can easily find one to match your own version of “nude.” They’re really soft and comfortable and durable and I like that they give a more polished look than bare legs without being thick as tights.

I put this hat (in blue) on my wish list this holiday season. I hope I get it!

Hanukkah starts tonight and since we are an interfaith family (Drew is Jewish, we’re raising Jackson Jewish, and I’m a spiritual agnostic who likes any excuse to celebrate), we observe both Hanukkah and Christmas this time of year. As a result, we hang Star of David string lights, like these, on our Christmas tree. We also have some these Star of David Christmas tree ornaments. Just don’t tell my father-in-law.

Speaking of holidays, I sent my DW cards out last week (here’s what they look like), which I had made on Zazzle. And yesterday I ordered some holiday cards from Snapfish with a couple family photos on them. But if I find I need more cards than I ordered, I’m sending out these from World Market because they’re so cute.

Also from World Market (they’re killing it on the holiday stuff), how cute are these gift tags? And these! And these!!

Fellow advice column lovers, Dear Sugar is back! In podcast form. One hour every week. You know, like church.

Finally, I can’t do a weekly picks post without mentioning the incredible performance I saw over the weekend. On Sunday afternoon, Chad and I saw Hedwig and the Angry Inch on Broadway and it was SO DAMN GOOD!! Michael C. Hall is playing Hedwig until mid-January and if you live in or near NYC or are planning a visit and have a chance to check him out, you must! He is stellar. What a talent.

What are some of the things you’re into this week?


Military love

Several years ago I met a guy in college. We were good friends for a while but eventually ended up falling out of touch. About a year ago he sent me a message asking how I’d been, and we began to catch up. He’s in the military, so our contact stayed limited to FaceTiming, texting, and Facebook. Five months ago he came home for a few weeks and we went out on some dates. We hit it off wonderfully and decided to give a long-distance relationship a shot. He came home again recently and I don’t think we could have had a better time; it’s become clear that we love each other very much.

It’s been very difficult being apart now that he’s had to return to work 1300 miles away. We’ve talked about my moving up there, but, seeing as neither of us has been in a long-distance relationship before, we are both worried about moving too fast. I can honestly say this man is the kind of man I’ve always dreamed of being with. He is respectful, motivated, caring, and has an amazing sense of humor. My question is: how should we pace ourselves in this relationship? When would be the right time to move in together, and eventually, possibly even get engaged? It’s difficult being separated from someone I feel so instantly connected with, but I don’t want to move too fast before either of us is “ready.” — Afraid to Move Too Fast

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