In the recent article, “Moving for Love: The Modern Relationship Milestone,” the author asserts that: “With employment prospects for twentysomethings in short supply and more couples delaying marriage, people are facing [the dilemma of moving for a partner] at a younger age, usually before they’ve made a legal commitment to one another. In fact, the decision to pack up and leave together could probably even be considered a new relationship milestone, falling somewhere between ‘cohabitation’ and ‘engagement’ on the seriousness scale.” I’d also add that in this era of online dating and the ease and convenience of long distance communication (texting, emailing, FaceTime, Skype, etc.), more and more people are meeting and dating across bigger distances than ever before and are ultimately facing decisions about whether to move for love.
I myself have experienced the moving-for-love scenario twice. The first time was when I was 24 and my then-boyfriend moved with me from Missouri to Chicago. We’d been dating less than a year, hadn’t lived together yet, and didn’t really have any illusions of being together forever or anything. I mean, I don’t think either of us was thinking we were necessarily destined to not be together; we just weren’t really thinking further ahead than moving to a new city and having an adventure. I was already planning to move when I started dating him, and he said he was up for a move, too, if our relationship was serious enough by the time I left to entertain the idea of us going together. And it was and we did. The relationship didn’t last though.
But then a few years later I met Drew, who lived over 800 miles away in New York. We did the LDR thing for a year and a half, and then I moved for love. I was seven years years older than when I moved to Chicago, wiser, and more invested in the future of my relationship. This time it worked out — we’ve been a couple for eight years next month and married for 4 1/2 years now.
Anyway, I was curious about how many of you have experienced — or have considered — moving for love. I get so many letters from people asking whether they should move for love, and I know many of them do. So, if you have, are you glad you did? Did the relationship(s) last? Did you like where you moved? What kind of effect do you think building a new life in a different place had on your relationship? For me, it was such a test — at least the second time around. I sacrificed a lot to move to NYC, where I hardly knew anyone and didn’t have a job. It was a really tough transition and it took a toll on my relationship at first. But committing to a certain amount of time here and relying on — and getting — great support from Drew brought us a lot closer and helped solidify our bond. But, what was YOUR experience? Poll below:
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