Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Thanks for your tips on this post. I want to finalize our vacation plans in the next week or two, but Mercury is in retrograde and I’m afraid to make plans I can’t cancel before it goes direct in early May. Laugh all you want, but I’ve learned my lesson the hard way. So, I think I might book a place with a casual cancellation policy and hold off buying plane tickets until May 4 (when Mercury goes direct). And now you probably think I sound like this LW. (Whatever! Ok, I kind of do.)

What do you have on tap for the weekend? I organized two Easter eggs hunts in the park — one on Saturday and one on Sunday. Jackson has a Little League game tomorrow, and we’ve been invited to our friends’ on Sunday for an Ecuadorian Easter feast where we will eat fanesca, a traditional Ecuadorian Easter soup. Also, my friend, Matt, just texted me this morning and said he got a last-minute ticket to NYC tomorrow morning for a 28-hour visit with us. Back when I lived in Chicago, Easter was kind of our thing — not because either of us is religious or necessarily cares about the holiday, but mostly because out of happenstance or coincidence we spent a few Easters in a row together and then decided to make it a more deliberate date. Since I moved to New York (nearly ten years ago!!), there have even been a few Easters where he happened to be here by chance for work or on his way to somewhere, and so we got to spend the day together. And now he’ll be here again. I hope he likes kids’ Easter egg hunts. (I’m especially excited about Matt’s visit because he is a professional actor and singer, and this week Jackson wants to be an actor and singer when he grows up, so he should be duly impressed with Mom’s good friend.)

Anyhoo… hey – just a friendly reminder as you go about your spring shopping and what not that I earn a commission on any purchase you make from my Amazon affiliate link, which you can access by clicking that widget over there in the sidebar. And while you’re shopping, you may be interested in the 40% off flash sale over at Modcloth (I get some version of this dress every other summer.) Gap, as usual, is having a big sale (up to 75% off select items, and 40% off store-wide with code HOPTOIT (I love this top in blue — it’d make a pretty beach coverup, too.) And Anthropologie is having a 25%-off sale. (How pretty is this jacket??! And a steal, at $37 down from $178!)

Happy Easter to those who celebrate!

I have been in a relationship for a year and a half now. I believe I have never loved anyone like I have my boyfriend, and he’s great to me. For just over a year he has stopped doing things with me though and stays home leaving me to hang out with my girlfriends, which bothers me. So in the meantime and not on purpose, I have made friends with a guy who has a solid career at his father’s business. He has promised me that if we were together, he would provide for me and treat me better than I’m treated in my current relationship. I would be able to go home and see my family, who lives 1700 miles away, a lot more than I do now. I could even go home in the summer and spend a couple months on the family farm. I would also be able to quit my very fast-paced government job and work at his father’s business. All of this sounds amazing to me, of course. The business he has is something I have always dreamed of working at. So do I throw away my current relationship, with someone who I feel is my best friend, for a different lifestyle? What if this other guy and I don’t get along as well as my current boyfriend and I do? What if I spend my whole life wishing I had picked my current boyfriend? Or what if I will be happier than I am now? — Undecided

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Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

“Here’s how much the average single American spends on their dating life”

This doesn’t seem to be satire… “Why I won’t date hot women anymore”

Twitter Responds Accordingly To Dude Who Says He ‘Won’t Date Hot Women Anymore’

Millennials, hoping to find real connections, ban the booze

5 Signs Dating Apps Are Affecting Your Well-Being & How To Fix It

Some brides say yes to selling their wedding dress online

This Guy Wrote Down All the Reasons His Wife Cries, and It’ll Crack You Up

Fuck Trump: “Trump Gives States The Okay To Defund Planned Parenthood”

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram.


Last summer kind of blew, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that we didn’t really go anywhere or do anything fun (save for a long weekend at a lake house with friends). Joanie was still a baby and difficult to travel with (not that she’s that much easier now, but last weekend we were able to take her to a restaurant for Drew’s birthday without her totally freaking out and ruining the experience, so that’s an improvement), and we were having some challenges with Jackson that made the idea of “family vacation” sort of an oxymoron. Things are better on all those fronts, and I feel optimistic that traveling together this year could be fun and, at the very least, a way to break up what would otherwise be a long, hot summer in New York City (and anyone who’s spent an entire summer in NYC can attest that you really need to break that shit up little bit).
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My fiancé of four years is a captain in the Air Force and just deployed. While using his laptop for schoolwork, I ran across emails and multiple nude photos of women. After searching a little deeper, I found that these photos came from Craigslist ads that he had responded to. Not only did he respond, he gave out his number and had them text him these pictures which he then forwarded from his phone to his email. I’ve discovered that he has been doing this for years. He has responded to ads about sexual massages and even tried to set up a meeting (I can’t tell whether the meeting actually happened or not). He was also sent on a TDY to Las Vegas on the military’s dime and used the Craigslist there to meet up with women for “happy endings.” What makes it worse is that he flew me out a few days afterward to spend time with him. I then ran across multiple emails from dating sites he was registered on. I know most of his passwords and was able to log into the accounts and read the messages, and I saw that he even got about forty phone numbers. I actually took it upon myself to deactivate all of his dating accounts and message the women to let them know the truth.

How can someone live under the same roof as you and your son and do these kinds of things behind your back while carrying on like everything is fine? Is this some kind of psychological disorder than can be treated with therapy? This is just a shock to me, but I can’t exactly bring it up while he’s deployed overseas and has other people’s lives in his hands. I could bring it to his dad’s attention in hopes that as a team we can get him some help. And he blames me for us not being married yet! Now I know why we aren’t married and it isn’t my fault at all. — Captain’s Girlfriend

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