Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

The Paul Ryan and the dirty GOP are wasting no time screwing over women as much and as quickly as they can in this new year: GOP to ‘defund’ Planned Parenthood in Obamacare repeal — “The defunding measure would take away roughly $400 million in Medicaid money from the group in the year after enactment, according to the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office, and would result in roughly 400,000 women losing access to care. One factor is that being enrolled in Medicaid doesn’t guarantee access to a doctor, so women denied Medicaid services from Planned Parenthood may not be able to find replacement care.”

Here’s how to help:

1. Donate to Planned Parenthood (even without defunding, they need your financial assistance to provide health care to women, many of whom cannot afford it on their own).

2. Call Speaker Ryan now at 608-752-4050 and demand that he back down from his assault on Planned Parenthood and women. Sample Script:

“Hi, my name is ____________ and I live in _____________.

I’m calling to ask Speaker Ryan NOT to hold a vote on any attempt to defund Planned Parenthood.

We see through your blatantly political attempt to do whatever it takes to attack women’s health and rights and take health care away from the people who need it most. If Congress cuts funding to Planned Parenthood, millions of people will be left without access to birth control, lifesaving cancer screenings, and other basic care. Many of them will have nowhere else to go for the health care they need.

I’m counting on Speaker Ryan to do the right thing and stand up for the Planned Parenthood patients in our community and across the country who rely on those health centers.

I stand with Planned Parenthood because [insert your own story, if you like].

I expect Speaker Ryan to stop any attacks on Planned Parenthood and the vital health services they provide.

Thank you for your time.”

Oops: The Washington Post Uses Male Symbol to Announce Historic Women’s March

Great tips here for going to the Women’s March in Washington, as well the importance of protesting and how to participate even if you can’t get to DC.

If You’re Planning to Attend the Women’s March on Washington, Here’s How to Register

Both Sides of a Breakup: Their Open Marriage Still Makes Him Want to Vomit

Rockette Management Tells Dancers to “Tolerate Intolerance” in the Wake of Inauguration Backlash

In case you aren’t completely over 2016 yet: “Behind the Lens: 2016 Year in Photographs”

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.

I met this guy on the internet and he was really sweet and caring and I soon felt like I loved him. Two weeks later we started going out. But when we went on our first date, I got disappointed because he’s just two inches taller than I am. Usually, I date tall, buff guys. But this guy is really skinny and average height. I do like him and all, but I just don’t know. It breaks my heart because he’s an amazing guy and I feel bad for feeling like this. Please: I would like to hear your opinion. — Shorter Than Expected

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Three years ago I sought out-of-state treatment for alcoholism. While my family supported my recovery, they didn’t want much to do with me afterward, and, with no money after treatment, I couldn’t afford rent in my hometown. But their lives improved so greatly without me around, not to mention their relationships with each other, that I was happy being alone. So I threw myself into my work and began making a decent living through self-employment. After two years, I was finally making enough to move back to my home state. Then everything fell apart.

See, while my brother has always been the responsible one, he’s arguably been as entitled as I. When my mom received inheritance after a death in the family, almost all of it went toward his student loans. When her business achieved success, she used a large chunk of the profits to buy and renovate a house for him. But there was a catch. The house had two units, and she wanted to move into the second unit when she got older. Until then, he would rent out that unit for extra profit.

Now the two of them will not speak because my mother feels that he stole the house from her. He doesn’t want her moving into the other unit because of her turbulent relationship with his fiancée, but she turned down his offer to give her the entire house outright because he refinanced it last year and she can no longer afford the mortgage. (I think that’s the issue, anyway. I know nothing about real estate.) She feels he’s reneging on an agreement, whereas he says the house was a gift. I wasn’t there when they bought it, so I have no idea. The only part I understand is the fiancée bit, which even my mother admits would make for an uncomfortable living arrangement.

Here’s what I do know: The situation is making life tense for all of us, and I feel stuck in the middle. What’s worse is that I find myself resenting both of them. It makes me angry to hear him complain about the woman who paid off his student loans, especially when I’m still struggling to pay off my own. It makes me angry to hear her call him names and threaten to destroy his business out of malice. No matter whose side of the story is true, they’re still family. They’re all I have, and I should be allowed to love both of them without taking sides.

They’re now threatening court against each other, and I’m worried that my refusal to testify on behalf of either one will result in my losing both. I already lost them once because of my own screw-ups. I cannot lose them again. At the same time, I’m starting to feel like I was happier when I lived farther away from them although I know that’s an awful way to feel. Please tell me how to fix their relationship. I’ll do whatever it takes. — Clowns to the Left of Me

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The election of Donald Trump as the next President of the United States is a scary and horrific thing for many of us. He and his cabinet, full of unqualified and unsuitable candidates, threaten civil rights, voter rights, climate control, health care, public education, social security, the first amendment, foreign relations, free press, and the values of most good and decent people everywhere. We must resist his actions to destroy the fabric of democracy and the security of our citizens. In an effort to do that, each week I share some acts of resistance and steps of activism you can take. Here are this week’s:
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This week in the forums we’re discussing:

What are you willing to struggle for?

Friend in Bad Marriage/Not Caring for Kids Pregnant Again

“Is My Husband Bi?”

New Year Resolutions

His way or no way!

Found a used Bra and several used underwear in my husband’s drawer

My girlfriend is making me so unhappy

I know he is

Update – “how to let go”

How to deal with GAMBLING Boyfriend???

I can’t come to terms with something she did before we were together

My boyfriend is broke but I’m not

Any products you would recommend?

Anyone going on awesome dates?


Toronto – Ice Skating Jan. 21/22?

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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at