Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Poll: What Would You Do To Get Your Significant Other to Propose?

By now, many of you have read or heard about the woman who is making 300 sandwiches for her boyfriend to get him to propose to her. I’m sure her effort probably has as much, if not more, to do with gaining some publicity for her writing than getting a ring, but whatever. Good for her, I guess. Then I started thinking about what else people might do to get a proposal. Lord knows I get enough letters from women wishing their boyfriends would pop the question already. So, I’m curious, is there anything you would do to persuade your significant other to propose? (Poll after the jump).

[polldaddy poll=”7427947″]

75 comments… add one
  • avatar

    GatorGirl September 26, 2013, 1:39 pm

    I picked the last two, because I think it’s important to at least know your SO’s family before taking the marriage plunge. Not necessarily like them, but at least know what you’re dealing with.

    Reply Link
  • JK

    JK September 26, 2013, 1:40 pm

    Get pregnant obvs! It´s what worked for me!!! 😛

    Reply Link
    • JK

      JK September 26, 2013, 1:43 pm

      Just in case some people don´t actually know me. We DID decide to get married after I got pregnant with our 1st, but we´d already been living together for several years, decided to have a baby, and were planning to get married anyway.
      This is in no way a one size fits all solution.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        jlyfsh September 26, 2013, 1:55 pm

        HAHA back two days and JK is advocating getting pregnant to get a husband! 😉

        Link
      • avatar

        Christy September 26, 2013, 8:14 pm

        Yeah, JK, I’m so glad you’re back. (To all the regulars who lurk for a while without posting – we (I) miss you! It’s always great when you return. I’m thinking of you too, honeybeenicki!)

        Link
  • avatar

    lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 1:46 pm

    Would you quit smoking for an engagement? My old secretary’s boyfriend said he won’t propose unless she quits, and she did! I’m torn on stuff like that. I mean, you knew what you were getting yourself into when you began dating a smoker…

    Reply Link
    • Miss MJ

      Miss MJ September 26, 2013, 2:04 pm

      I guess if quitting is something she wanted to do anyway, then an engagement is as good a motivator as any. I can understand not wanting to marry someone who smokes long term because of the health effects, etc., but beginning to date them when they smoke, depending on when you meet them. A lot of people I know who met in college or law school smoked then, but don’t anymore and it was sort of a common understanding that they’d quit after school or once they had kids or whatever. But if you meet a life-long smoker who is happy being a life-long smoker, I don’t think it’s really fair to start dictating to them that they must quit to be with you.

      Reply Link
    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson September 26, 2013, 2:29 pm

      LBH just quit smoking already. Get over it. I bet you smell bad. And you’re a shitty parent for orphaning lilbehonest.

      If shame doesn’t work I don’t know how a ring would. So how do you feel about your life now? Tempted to quit?

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 2:32 pm

        stfu.

        In all seriousness, wtf is wrong with me that even shame doesn’t work?

        Link
      • Fabelle

        Fabelle September 26, 2013, 2:35 pm

        Eh, shame never worked for me either (my ex tried to warn me about “third hand smoke” —I never smoked inside, but third-hand is what comes in on your clothes & stuff—with my pets, & all it did was make me wash my hands before petting them & not let them sleep on my coats.)

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 2:43 pm

        Same here.

        Link
      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson September 26, 2013, 2:46 pm

        Well I tried.

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 2:50 pm

        Thanks 🙂

        Link
      • honeybeenicki

        honeybeenicki September 26, 2013, 4:15 pm

        Shame doesn’t work for me either. Smokers are just terrible people in general, I guess 🙂

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 26, 2013, 2:33 pm

        yea and her mouth is gonna get all shriveled up and her voice will sound like marge’s sisters. who sound kind of hot actually.

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 2:34 pm

        I sort of love that voice too. You’ve just negated all of Iwanna’s comments.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 26, 2013, 2:35 pm

        whoopsie, back to what iwanna said about death and shit.

        Link
      • avatar

        Addie Pray September 26, 2013, 2:34 pm

        you know the wringkly smoker mouth – there should be a name for that. know how you can just tell smokers by their mouths? it’s even easier when there is a cig in the mouth, but still

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 2:48 pm

        Yup. Its nasty. Plus aging is so sped up with everything. I saw a picture from like 3 years ago and its disgusting how much older I look now. I tried one of those e-cigs the other day. Not horrible. Maybe I’ll make an effort to only have those.

        Link
      • avatar

        DesiDad September 26, 2013, 2:56 pm

        @lets_be_honest: You should switch to Nicorette. It totally works! At least it helps me to resist buying a pack. Then what are you gonna do? I have been thinking of the e-cigs too. Might also work, and might be cheaper. Nicotine may also be harmful, but I believe the main benefit is from no longer inhaling the black smoke particles.

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 3:19 pm

        I tried the patch a couple years ago and did pretty well (3 months I think?). I think I’ll try it again, in unison with the e-cig. Thanks!

        Link
      • avatar

        Nadine September 26, 2013, 5:34 pm

        My fiancee uses the e-cig and loves it! Do it its great.No smell which is a big plus for me. And if you don’t mind looking like a wanker, you can puff away in pubs!

        Link
      • Fabelle

        Fabelle September 26, 2013, 3:10 pm

        yeah, e-cigs are cool— I find I’m not addicted to the nicotine (I go weeks, months without lighting up), I just like the hand motions & the exhaling smoke thing.

        Link
    • avatar

      lemongrass September 26, 2013, 7:40 pm

      Nope. Back when I smoked I asked Mr. Grass if it was a deal breaker for him. He said no and meant it BUT it would be a deal breaker if I smoked while pregnant. Fair enough! I smoked until I got the positive test and haven’t had one since.

      Reply Link
  • Dear Wendy

    Wendy September 26, 2013, 1:53 pm

    If I were still single and really wanted to get married, I would totally eat 300 sandwiches, fyi. Totally.

    Reply Link
    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy September 26, 2013, 1:55 pm

      I mean, I would do that even if I didn’t want to get married. Or, I’d do that in exchange for not talking about marriage for a whole year. Like, a sandwich a day to keep the wedding away, you know? But, they’d have to be good sandwiches. Like, the kind of sandwiches fancy cafes sell for nine bucks a pop. That kind of good.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 2:04 pm

        One of our wedding-hating readers is going to start sending you sandwiches now! You just wait and see!

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 2:05 pm

        *your

        Link
      • avatar

        Taylor September 26, 2013, 2:41 pm

        I like “our” =)

        Link
      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson September 26, 2013, 2:45 pm

        Is it weird that I’ve already ordered one for her?

        Link
      • avatar

        GatorGirl September 26, 2013, 2:09 pm

        I would eat 300 sandwiches to avoid wedding stuff on DW too. It stresses me out.

        Link
      • avatar

        bethany September 26, 2013, 2:15 pm

        My husband made me promise to make him 2 sandwiches a month before we got married.

        Link
  • Miel

    Miel September 26, 2013, 2:02 pm

    Traveling 300 miles is nothing. Luckily my boyfriend didn’t propose after I flew 3,000 miles to meet his dad, 5 months into the relationship. (I know, LDR makes you do crazy things). I’m going to finally fly 700 miles to meet his mom next month. Hopefully that still doesn’t trigger the ring popping !

    (On a side note, this makes me think I should get some American Air miles thing… or something… Anybody here can tell me if it’s worth it ?)

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 2:06 pm

      I don’t have anything like that, but my brother travels a lot and rarely has to pay because of miles. Its worth looking into for sure.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Kate September 26, 2013, 2:25 pm

      It’s sort of worth it. I have used the miles for domestic tickets (within US) before. It’s kind of a hassle because usually your flight options include as many stops as possible, and if you want more convenient flights you have to use a lot more miles. But if you travel a lot and use the same airlines, you should do it.

      Reply Link
    • katie

      katie September 26, 2013, 2:36 pm

      If you travel with any kind of frequency (or if you want to) I think it’s worth it. And anyway, you don’t pay to be a part of the programs, so who cares anyway, you know?

      I have sooooo many miles now. And I’m so close to the highest tier of rewards I actually want to travel just to get it, haha

      Reply Link
    • katie

      katie September 26, 2013, 2:39 pm

      Oh but I will say only get it if you will be using a particular airline consistently. It’s really only worth it for that.

      I have southwest if it matters.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Taylor September 26, 2013, 2:42 pm

      Totally worth it. It’s very little work with everything being online, plus if you don’t have enough for tickets, you can often use them for upgrades, or boarding earlier etc.

      Reply Link
    • othy

      othy September 26, 2013, 4:23 pm

      Considering it is free to get a frequent flyer card, totally. When I was in LDR, I started saving my miles. A few months before I finally moved back to him, I used a free ticket to buy him a trip out to see me. And that *DID* trigger a ring (and a happy marriage!).

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Joanna September 26, 2013, 2:23 pm

    I don’t get it. Women talk about how they want to be equal and all that jazz, then why don’t they just propose to their boyfriends. People are all “DOWN WITH STEREOTYPICAL GENDER ROLES!” But women are all like, “But he has to propose to me.”

    Reply Link
    • honeybeenicki

      honeybeenicki September 26, 2013, 2:28 pm

      When my husband and I first got serious, I told him that he had until I was (insert specific age here) to propose and if he didn’t, I would propose to him. He proposed 18 months later (well before the date that I wanted him to do it since the limit was about 5 years out). He often says he thought about waiting just to see how I would propose to him. We’re planning on doing some kind of party/renewal thing at probably 10 years and I’m going to propose to him then.

      Reply Link
    • theattack

      theattack September 26, 2013, 4:57 pm

      In my experience, men are much more like that than women. Stealing their special project and stuff.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 5:03 pm

        I would totally agree with that.

        Link
    • avatar

      Nadine September 26, 2013, 5:37 pm

      I actually agree with wondering why many more women don’t propose. But without the inflammatory language about wanting to ‘be equal and all that jazz’.

      Reply Link
  • Fabelle

    Fabelle September 26, 2013, 2:23 pm

    I chose the last one, & sex. Because I would have sex almost every day of the year regardless 😉

    But no, there is nothing I would do to “get” my S/O to propose to me; in fact, I’d be pretty PRETTY startled if he proposed anytime soon? Like, startled in a, “oh no” kind of way?

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Anna September 26, 2013, 11:07 pm

      Same here. My reaction was “only 300 times a year? You’re missing 65 days completely and what happened to rounds 2 and 3?”

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Addie Pray September 26, 2013, 2:25 pm

    Speaking of sandwiches, how do you feel about eating a sandwich WITHOUT chips? I can’t do it. For every bite of sandwich I NEED a bit of crunchy chip, you know? I need to put chips in the sandwich, on the sandwich, around the sandwich, and a chip should be the first and last bite when I have a sandwich. I just had a sandwich and I had no chips. It felt so weird. I couldn’t fully enjoy the sandwich – and pretzels and gold fish can’t make up for it.

    I feel so dramatic about food today.

    Reply Link
    • Fabelle

      Fabelle September 26, 2013, 2:28 pm

      I need fries with my sandwich. Or if not fries (since I’ve been trying to eat lighter, grumble grumble) then AT LEAST a few pickle spears.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      cdobbs September 26, 2013, 3:26 pm

      try the ruffles jalapeno popper chips! amazing!!!! (hopefully they are available in the US?)

      Reply Link
    • rosie posie

      rosie posie September 26, 2013, 3:37 pm

      II’m not a chip person but I like the crunch. When I was young my favorite sandwich was ham and provolone with lettuce and plain potato chips on a deli roll. Mmmm so good. You may have inspired me to make one tomorrow for lunch.

      Reply Link
    • MaterialsGirl

      MaterialsGirl September 26, 2013, 3:42 pm

      i totally agree on the chips! i also put fritos in my chili

      Reply Link
    • othy

      othy September 26, 2013, 4:25 pm

      Depends on the sandwich. If I’m eating a caprese sandwich that’s been melted under the broiler, the bread often has enough of a crunch that it don’t need a chip. But, with your basic sandwich, definitely. And I will even add chips to the sandwich, which is heaven. But PB+Js don’t need chips.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    MW September 26, 2013, 2:38 pm

    Ummm. . . or I could just propose to him! And I did. And we’re celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary next month.

    Reply Link
  • niki

    Niki September 26, 2013, 2:53 pm

    I did something REALLY crazy when I decided I was ready to be engaged. I asked HIM to marry ME! Totally crazy, I know. I mean, a desperate woman will do just about anything. Btw, we’re getting married May 17th.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 2:58 pm

      Details!

      Reply Link
      • niki

        Niki September 26, 2013, 3:13 pm

        About the proposal? It wasn’t anything special. We were home one afternoon and we got talking. I told him that I thought a Spring 2014 wedding would be nice. He said he thought so too. So I said we should do it, let’s get married. And he said ok.

        A couple weeks later we went shopping and picked out a nice engagement ring and wedding band. I knew if I waited for him to ask me I would probably still be waiting. Not because he doesn’t want to marry me, but because he’s a procrastinator. I was ready, so I took the bull by the horns, initiated the conversation and asked the question. I don’t regret it one bit.

        Link
      • avatar

        GatorGirl September 26, 2013, 3:17 pm

        I tried to do that. GGuy insisted he needed to propose.

        Link
      • niki

        Niki September 26, 2013, 3:38 pm

        I think FI was just glad he didn’t have to do it himself. He’s a typical Libra and very indecisive. Picking out a ring and deciding on a proposal spot would’ve been a little overwhelming for him I think. He has said that he feels guilty that he didn’t do the whole proposal thing, but I like that our story is so different than everyone we know.

        Link
      • othy

        othy September 26, 2013, 4:27 pm

        Hey, us Libra’s aren’t indecisive. We’re just waiting to get all of the facts before we make a decision! (Although, we’re also quite skeptical and don’t often believe in astrology).

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 3:26 pm

        Makes total sense to me! Good for you.

        Link
      • avatar

        Nadine September 26, 2013, 5:43 pm

        I love it. I think its crazy what people will do to get engaged, besides actually ask!
        I didnt propose, but thats because my fiancee is very into gifts and really wanted to pick me out a ring and surprise me with it. we knew we were getting married anyway, we just didnt plan anything or tell anyone (no one believes you without a ring anyway). Then the ring arrived in the post, he waited till I got home from work, gave it to me and we got drunk on champagne with our friends. It was great.

        Link
  • avatar

    GatorGirl September 26, 2013, 3:01 pm

    Has anyone else seen the guy? He was on the Today show today and had very peculiar eyebrows.

    Reply Link
  • MaterialsGirl

    MaterialsGirl September 26, 2013, 3:44 pm

    I made him come with me when I booked the location and the photographer. a month or two before he finally proposed…

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    lets_be_honest September 26, 2013, 3:54 pm

    This would be a good time for everyone to share their proposal stories! I loooove hearing them.

    Reply Link
    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson September 26, 2013, 4:02 pm

      She is being sarcastic. Don’t do it. I’m going to guess the proposal was about love. There. Now you know, LBH.

      Reply Link
  • bittergaymark

    Bittergaymark September 26, 2013, 4:20 pm

    My field research indicates a great number of women despise oral sex. God knows men complain about this often enough and act like its some great holy grail… (Real reason for homophobia? Jealously at both the ease and enthusiasm of blowjob access. Seriously, I kid you not.)

    Wanna get married?
    Wanna book deal?
    Wanna shitty chickflick based on you with some huge star/shitty actress in it?

    Start THIS website.

    3 0 0 B L O W J O B S

    Sample text… After finally sucking off my most perfect boyfriend ever. He patted me on the head and said — “Wow! Sweetie! Bravo! Blowjobs = delicious love!! You are now only 299 blowjobs away from that ring!!”

    Hearing this, my mother said! “Darling! Blowjobs! You? Your not even remotely interesting sexually…”

    “I’ll learn!”

    Only my gay bestie was confused. “Wait. 300 blowjobs? Hasn’t that happened already? You’ve been together damn near six months…”

    Reply Link
    • Astronomer

      Astronomer September 26, 2013, 5:34 pm

      THAT explains why my husband wanted to marry me. Lord knows it wasn’t for my shitty personality or god-awful sense of humor.

      Reply Link
    • Nookie

      Nookie September 27, 2013, 7:07 am

      I love this.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    llclarityll September 26, 2013, 4:23 pm

    Did anyone see this dude on the Today show? He was sooo creepy.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    cdobbs September 26, 2013, 3:25 pm

    i don’t really want to get married….but i did find this story amazing: the man walked with a sign asking for a kidney for his wife…..love stories like this 😀

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    HmC September 26, 2013, 4:28 pm

    I would DO everything on the list because I love someone. I wouldn’t do any of them to GET a proposal.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    SpaceySteph September 26, 2013, 5:49 pm

    When my husband and I had been dating for about a year and a half he invited my parents (in FL) up to his parents (in VA) for thanksgiving (we live in TX) “so they could meet before the wedding.”

    We were not engaged yet, but I got it in my head that he was planning some elaborate proposal thing in front of all the families (even though a. that’s so not something I would want and b. that’s so not something he would want).
    When it occurred to me that we might be getting engaged that weekend I did a little soul searching about whether I wanted to marry him and was I ready to say yes. And I decided that I was and then… started to get kind of excited and comfortable with the prospect.

    Well of course the long weekend went by and he didn’t propose and I was really kind of mad even though this was a problem entirely in my head. But anyways, I guess in a way I did fly 1000 miles to get a man to propose to me. Only he didn’t. Until 5 months later, in historic Apollo mission control without anyone watching. You know, the way I actually would have wanted it.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    AliceInDairyland September 26, 2013, 6:29 pm

    I’ll have to get Benjamin an engagement fruit tree or something… And we all know that this will become mine: http://www.southsidestables.com/miniature_jersey_calf_child_large.jpg

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Emily September 26, 2013, 8:21 pm

    If I wanted to get married that bad I WOULD PROPOSE TO HIM. so stupid.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Christy September 26, 2013, 8:26 pm

    I promised gf I wouldn’t think about moving in together until we survived a full hockey season together. I didn’t promise no complaining, but still, that’s close to 300 hours of hockey. Especially between this season and last.

    Reply Link

Leave a Comment