Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Reader of the Week: Meet Anna

There was such an overwhelming response when I asked readers to introduce themselves on a weekend open thread that I decided to give you all a weekly column to do just that. I’ve always said this site wouldn’t be what it is without the engagement and participation of its readers and this column is the place to learn more about who you are what makes you tick. After the jump, let’s meet Anna.

 

1. What’s your name, age and whereabouts?

My name is Anna, both in real life and on the site. Very original, I know! I am 27 and live near Cleveland, OH.

2. What’s your relationship status?

I have been in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend for eight years. By the time this is posted, we will probably either be engaged or broken up (discussed this on the site a couple times)…will update.

3. How do you spend your weekdays?

During the day I have to sleep because I work third shift at an insurance call center. On Thursdays and Fridays I am off and usually just take care of all the little chores I didn’t have time to do on the days I worked.

4. How do you spend your free time?

I love hanging out with friends, drinking, eating, and especially cooking/bartending for people. I also have a 4-wheeler and a couple guns I like to play with. I’ve been trying to write more lately as my initial dream was to be a writer but it’s hard to do that while working a full-time regular job. My website is here. Oh, and of course I regularly read DearWendy and a few other sites.

5. What are your top likes and dislikes?

Top likes: operating motorized vehicles, cooking, having real conversations.

Top dislikes: People who are fake, Republicans, Onions

6. What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever been given?

Wait until he’s fully committed before giving him the whole “wife package.” My family was right, but for the wrong reasons. For them, it is a moral issue. In reality, it turns out that men just decide not to commit if you give them too much too soon.

7. What’s the best relationship lesson you’ve ever learned?

I will never again move in with a man who has not put a ring on my finger.

8. Besides DearWendy.com, what are some of your favorite websites?

CNN.com, The Huffington Post, The Frisky, The Stir, and of course www.damnyouautocorrect.com. That one is so funny, it has me busting up laughing at 3 am in the nearly empty office.

*If you’d like to be a Reader of the Week, shoot me an email at wendy@dearwendy.com with “Reader of the Week” in the subject line and I’ll send you some questions to answer.

129 comments… add one
  • avatar

    *HmC* December 13, 2011, 11:29 am

    Hi Anna! So we await with bated breath… what happened with you and the bf?

    I’m also someone who has decided that, for more practical/realistic reasons than moral ones, living with a romantic partner prior to marriage is not for me. (Don’t really want to get into a big debate, but I have shared my feelings about this issue on here before.) Thankfully I did not have to have a bad experience in order to learn this about myself. But I hope it works out for the best for you, whatever that may mean!

    Oh… but I just noticed you don’t like onions. We can’t be friends after all.

    :/

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    • avatar

      honeybeenicki December 13, 2011, 11:38 am

      I don’t understand what people have against onions. Personally, I like them in/on everything. I eat them by themselves sometimes.

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      • EscapeHatches

        EscapeHatches December 13, 2011, 11:39 am

        It’s like cilantro. I ADORE cilantro. It’s on/in everything at home. But there’s a woefully misinformed camp of people who claim it tastes like soap.

        Must be hard to be wrong everyday. 😉

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      • landygirl

        Landygirl December 13, 2011, 11:43 am

        Blech!!

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        Kristen December 13, 2011, 11:50 am

        I love cilantro so much. I’ve never understood the soap thing, either.

        I also love onions, especially raw green onions dipped in salt.

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      • Firegirl32

        Firegirl32 December 13, 2011, 2:31 pm

        Right out of the garden! I love table onions with salt. Mmmm

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      • avatar

        mcj2011 December 13, 2011, 3:41 pm

        I roast potato’s with garlic and red onion and sometimes I leave out the potato and just roast the onion and garlic. It’s so good 🙂

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      • avatar

        Marie December 13, 2011, 12:04 pm

        There is actually a genetic basis for having cilantro taste so drastically different.

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      • EscapeHatches

        EscapeHatches December 13, 2011, 4:00 pm

        Genetic flaw! (kidding, obviously)

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      • avatar

        Morgan December 13, 2011, 12:07 pm

        That’s genetic. Either you have the gene that makes it taste good, or you have the gene that makes it taste like soap.

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      • avatar

        va-in-ny December 13, 2011, 12:18 pm

        Weird! I never knew that!

        Cool

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      • avatar

        Taylor December 13, 2011, 12:34 pm

        I’ve heard that! There’s an article here…

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest December 13, 2011, 12:37 pm

        I’m still going to judge people that don’t like cilantro.

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      • landygirl

        Landygirl December 13, 2011, 12:52 pm

        As I will judge people that do!!! It is eeeeeeeeeevil.

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      • EscapeHatches

        EscapeHatches December 13, 2011, 12:55 pm

        I cosign this.

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      • caitie_didnt

        caitie_didn't December 13, 2011, 1:06 pm

        That is so cool! I don’t think it tastes like soap, I just find it overpowering. Funny, I’ve always thought cilantro was an all-or-nothing thing! Guess I was right!

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      • ScrambledMegss

        ScrambledMegs December 13, 2011, 2:31 pm

        Interesting…I love cilantro but I’ve always found pickled ginger (the stuff with sushi) tastes like soap to me!

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      • avatar

        Splash December 13, 2011, 12:14 pm

        There is NEVER too much cilantro…which makes sharing homemade salsa with a cilantro-hater very difficult =(

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      • dabbler

        dabbler December 13, 2011, 12:53 pm

        I feel the same about garlic. 🙂
        I really have to watch it when I cook for other people. I’m wondering if there is a similar genetic/whatever thing about garlic, because I just really don’t seem to taste it the same as everyone else. Not a big fan of cilantro though.

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      • avatar

        Splash December 13, 2011, 2:21 pm

        I like garlic, but I end up smelling like it for a week if I have any significant amount…like when I work out I absolutely reek of garlic =(

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      • avatar

        cdubs December 13, 2011, 8:16 pm

        I love garlic. A lot. I practically dump it on my pizza, and I try to cook with it whenever I can.

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      • EscapeHatches

        EscapeHatches December 13, 2011, 4:01 pm

        I had an ex-boyfriend that hated tomatoes.

        We never had a chance.

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      • avatar

        va-in-ny December 13, 2011, 4:39 pm

        I used to hate tomatoes, now I love them. Apparently, your tastebuds change every 7 years or so..

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      • rainbow

        rainbow December 13, 2011, 11:41 pm

        I used to hate tomatoes too. All fruits, actually. Then I started dicing them really small and adding them here and there, and I can tolerate them now.
        I still hate every other fruit, though. Blame my crazy grandma who used to chase me around the house trying to convince me to eat them.

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      • avatar

        amber December 13, 2011, 11:40 am

        smell, taste, the texture. i’ve seen my grandfather eat them like an apple and it sends chills up my spine.

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      • JK

        JK December 13, 2011, 11:47 am

        Thank you for the texture part!!! There are several things I don´t eat because of the texture (onion and unmelted cheese at the top of the list), and when I explain that people look at me like I´m crazy.
        When I have to eat onion I make sure iut´s chopped really finely and well cooked. The only exception to this is Quarter¨Poundrs, recently I eat them onions and all, but if the pieces are too big I´ll take them off.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow December 13, 2011, 12:10 pm

        I can’t eat mushy stuff unless I take teeeeeeny-tiny bites! And if it’s something that’s mushy-plus-lumpy (like some mashed potatoes), then forget it. Also, watching people take giant bites of mushy stuff (yogurt, for instance), makes me gag.

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      • avatar

        va-in-ny December 13, 2011, 12:20 pm

        I just can’t seem to come around to yogurt. I think it might be the texture as well.

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      • JK

        JK December 13, 2011, 12:27 pm

        I hate yoghurt too, but because of the taste (I like puddin cups, so I dont think it´s the texture there)

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      • dabbler

        dabbler December 13, 2011, 1:04 pm

        This could be a fun open thread, all our weird little quirks…
        Like for me, the sound when you fold a piece of paper and crease it with your thumbnail? Drives me UP THE WALL. like nails on a chalkboard. No idea why, i know it’s weird, but it makes me stabby. Haha.

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      • JK

        JK December 13, 2011, 1:08 pm

        As long as there´s enough space for mine… I have several quirks. I find them adorable though. 🙂

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      • avatar

        Kristen December 13, 2011, 1:30 pm

        The sound that creeps me out the most is the scraping/clicking of teeth (like someone biting their nails). I involuntarily shudder every time.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest December 13, 2011, 1:43 pm

        Ha! I had a secretary that used to have the same problem…so much so that she refused to fold paper to put in an envelope. Clearly not a good job to have for her and it didn’t work out.
        I know someone who will only eat if the fork is 3-pronged. WTF. There’s def some weird ones out there, I know I have a ton. Good thread idea!

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      • avatar

        cdubs December 13, 2011, 8:18 pm

        The sound of someone digging their nails into a napkin. Ack just runs right up my spine.

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      • avatar

        Anna December 14, 2011, 1:42 am

        I love the idea of an open thread for our weird little quirks! I have two that stand out to people the most: I can’t stand most white sauces because they look way too gross to put in my mouth. So I don’t eat mayonnaise, miracle whip, ranch, sour cream, etc. The only one I will eat is alfredo. Also, I can’t stand anything between my toes so I don’t wear flip flops in the summer. All of my sandals have to be regular sandals with nothing between the toes.

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      • avatar

        Splash December 14, 2011, 8:25 am

        OMG! You sound like my b/f! He won’t eat anything that falls in the nebulous category of “too creamy” – that includes mayonnaise, sour cream, cream cheese, and any type of creamy dressing like thousand island, bleu cheese, ranch. However it does not include ricotta cheese, or creamed soups (cream of mushroom, cream of chicken or pumpkin soup). I totally don’t get it. Salad dressing is put on top of salad so it’s mostly crunchy! Whereas the soup has no texture besides the creamy.

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      • avatar

        GillianCate December 14, 2011, 8:50 am

        Are you me?

        I am also 27 and from near Cleveland.

        And I also hate all white sauces.

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      • avatar

        Anna December 14, 2011, 11:54 am

        Too creamy, that describes it perfectly! I also don’t have a problem with creamy soups because they are still thinner than a sauce. Perhaps it’s a rare DNA sequence that only some people share 🙂 Obviously GillianCate shares it too! And apparently she’s my genetic Ohio twin. Does my mother have a secret? Maybe I was actually twins but she knew she couldn’t handle two of me!

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      • JK

        JK December 14, 2011, 12:02 pm

        I always hated flip flops, then I tried Havaianas, and I find them really comfortable (I pretty much live in them from october through april). Some are so pretty, as well

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      • beenice

        Savannah December 14, 2011, 1:37 pm

        the sound of a pencil with no eraser scraping a piece of paper… yeesh!!

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      • avatar

        honeybeenicki December 13, 2011, 1:24 pm

        I don’t eat anything mushy either. I love the taste of bananas but can’t handle the texture, so I dehydrate them and eat them. I don’t eat pudding or yogurt or applesauce either, but for some reason I do like mashed potatoes and when I was a kid I loved tapioca pudding.

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      • avatar

        Splash December 13, 2011, 2:22 pm

        Try them frozen maybe? LOVED frozen bananas as a kid! (Just peel them first and freeze them in a baggie)

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl December 14, 2011, 11:00 am

        Omg banana’s freak me out. Seriously. I haven’t eaten one in years. I wouldn’t eat them as a baby. The texture and the stringy things and the smell. Ew ew ew.

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      • avatar

        Allison December 13, 2011, 11:28 pm

        I don’t like crunchy things. Particularly when they are in mushy things. For example, no pickles or onions or other crunchy things in tuna salad or egg salad, or whatever. No peppers on pizza. Stuff like that.

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      • avatar

        LennyBee December 13, 2011, 1:51 pm

        I love mushy things! It’s my favourite texture. Can’t stand slimy things though.

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      • landygirl

        Landygirl December 13, 2011, 1:12 pm

        I feel that way about cilantro, I can’t stand it. I am a fan of the I Hate Cilantro page on Facebook.

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      • avatar

        Anna December 13, 2011, 8:52 pm

        Ugh! My brother used to do that too. So gross!

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      • avatar

        silver_dragon_girl December 13, 2011, 12:09 pm

        Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

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      • avatar

        bethany December 13, 2011, 12:10 pm

        If an onion has been cut in my house, I can feel the effects of it for HOURS, even if we open all the windows. For this reason, I hate onions and do my best not to put them in anything. That said, if I go to a restaurant and they’re cooked into my meal, I’m generally ok, but a raw onion will basically always ruin my day.

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    • avatar

      atraditionalist December 13, 2011, 1:10 pm

      Agree 100% about the moving in thing! I’m sorry you had to have a bad experience Anna. I have never lived with a boyfriend before and I do not intend on doing it – not for moral reasons either but for practical realistic ones. I understand that a lot of people feel you need to really understand what you are getting yourself into before marriage but for me I think you can figure that out without living with someone for years. Also – if you break up then you’re left looking for a place – not a fun experience

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      • Budj

        Budj December 13, 2011, 1:19 pm

        Same here. Seems like such a pain in the ass if it breaks off. I like having my “me time” or the ability to have my own pad and get my own space too. I’ll consider sharing a living space when I would get engaged.

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      • avatar

        ForeverYoung December 13, 2011, 4:25 pm

        Ugh I am married and have been trying to figured out a socially acceptable way to have as much “me” time as possible. There is nothing more soothing than a day alone with a book and a crock pot.

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      • avatar

        cdubs December 13, 2011, 8:19 pm

        Bath time

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      • avatar

        iseeshiny December 14, 2011, 12:13 am

        I’ve been living with my SO for four years after having been living alone for about a year and a half. It was so hard adjusting at first since we were a brand new relationship (totally jumped into getting an apartment together after about three months) and we both lived and worked together. While we were both fully able to sit in the same room and do our own thing without it having to be ‘couple time,’ after the first month I thought I was going to go insane. I didn’t want to break up, but I really, really wanted to read my book without having to hear him typing, or knocking around in the other room, or getting up to go to the bathroom. Or, yknow. Breathing.

        But then, the most wonderful thing happened. Winter turned into spring. And it turned out my boyfriend likes to golf. And fish. On his days off he would disappear. I would politely turn down his invitations to join him and putter around the house, quietly recharging my ‘dealing with human contact’ batteries. Now when I need some time alone I just tell him I need to be alone and he gets it (or pretends to – he’s more of an extrovert) and leaves me alone, or goes to visit his sister, or if the weather’s nice he goes fishing.

        Anyway, that was a long story for some short advice: get your spouse a hobby. My friend got her husband hooked on Warhammer, the tabletop game. He spends hours in the basement painting these little figurines, and then every Thursday night he goes off to play with his friends.

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      • avatar

        Splash December 14, 2011, 8:27 am

        Speaking from personal experience, flying radio-controlled airplanes is a fantastic hobby to get a guy interested in. Hours off flying, charging batteries, doing repairs or mechanical/structural upgrades to the planes, researching the next plane he wants…

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      • avatar

        bethany December 14, 2011, 9:38 am

        Try to get your husband to take up an outdoor sport. Mine surfs, snowboards and mountain bikes. That equals a lot of time to myself!! (they’re also all really expensive hobbies though)

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      • avatar

        LennyBee December 13, 2011, 1:54 pm

        I always felt that way before, but now I’m in the relationship that’s different! Which I know is ridiculous, but we plan on moving in together anyway, despite both having been against the idea in the beginning. We spend all our time together anyway, alternating between our places, so it’s gotten to the point where it’s annoying all the time (do we have milk at your place, or mine? I know we’re out of milk somewhere!).

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      • avatar

        Eagle Eye December 13, 2011, 2:19 pm

        Well, as someone who lives with her bf and is quite happy about it…I just think that it really depends on what you and your S.O. are looking to get out of the arrangement.

        For us, I’m not jonesing for a ring and neither is he looking to get married anytime soon – Some day, sure, but as of right now its not in the cards which means that in the meantime I get to live and hang out with my boyfriend, and really, at the end of the day, its just nice falling asleep next to him every night and waking up with him there every morning. Its looking forward to his return from work in the evening and having someone to groggily sip coffee with before we run out the door.

        It may all fall apart, sure, but in the meantime, idk, it’s pretty fantastic and we get to have it without so much outside pressure that a marriage or even just the cost of a ring would put on our relationship. It just lets up “be” I guess.

        Anyways, that was rambling…sorry about that…although I guess the moral of the story is communication – we talked about what we wanted ahead of time and we’ll talk again if anything changes…

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      • avatar

        Anna December 13, 2011, 8:56 pm

        I understand, and it’s wonderful if that works out for you! In my case, I have a goal of having 2 kids by the time I am 35. When we were 19 and 20 I wasn’t concerned about getting married, but 27 year old me is starting to hear the clock tick. I require marriage before I throw away my birth control pills, so the marrying has to start happening soon or I’ll end up an old cat lady or something…

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        SpaceySteph December 13, 2011, 10:41 pm

        I’m 25, and I would really like to be done having kids by 32 so they will go to college when I’m 50. But I think you and I both are putting too much pressure on ourselves… who cares if we have kids at 35 or 36 or 40? It can be done.

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        Anna December 14, 2011, 1:27 am

        That’s the same reason I want to be done by 35…so I’m not still parenting when I’m a senior citizen. Also, it is much higher risk to be pregnant after 35 and I’d just as soon avoid that.

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      • avatar

        Splash December 13, 2011, 2:25 pm

        I agree with you and I am in this situation now where my b/f wants me to move in, and I just don’t see the point before we are engaged. Personally, I am ready to get married and just don’t see the purpose in pretending to have a life together like a married couple when we really aren’t. I know different couples have different things that work for them, so that’s just my personal stance on it.

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      • avatar

        Anna December 13, 2011, 8:58 pm

        You are so right, and I wish I had been that wise!

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      • avatar

        bethany December 13, 2011, 2:38 pm

        I was also against living together until I was in my current relationship. We talked about it for about a year before we moved forward with it, and we both agreed that it was in our plan to be engaged within 2 years of moving in together. It ended up working out great for us (as we are married now), but I think it is different for each person/relationship.

        Having the same long term goals is key though. To move in together without discussing that is foolish, in my opinion.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest December 13, 2011, 2:57 pm

        I think that’s the trick with moving in together–same long term goals. If you move in with someone you want proposing to you but you haven’t even discussed marriage, timeline, etc., it seems like the kiss of death.

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      • avatar

        Eagle Eye December 13, 2011, 4:47 pm

        Well, I think, as is the case for anything dealing with relationships – It’s all a matter of communication so that all members are on the same page and (at the same time) there is no one right way for any couple – it all depends on whose in the relationship and what they want out of it

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      • katie

        katie December 14, 2011, 3:26 am

        i definitely agree.

        i also think that same principal can and needs to be applied to everything- because even if you are “mismatched” in the sense of one wanting to marry and the other not, what happens after you marry and then if one wants kids? then you are exactly right in the same spot you were before you got married. i didnt even notice, but i think that is why my boyfriend and I have worked out so well living together before we get married. we both knew what we wanted, we talk about it all time, and somehow we always seemed to be on the same page….

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        Anna December 14, 2011, 11:57 am

        That’s the odd thing with us. We completely agree on kids. We’ve already decided we want two and started picking out the different toys we will buy them. But he thinks it is ok to just decide to be together and have kids whereas I require a ring before I open the baby factory.

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      • Imsostartled

        Imsostartled December 13, 2011, 3:27 pm

        This is weird because about 6 months ago I was about to write to Wendy about a very similar situation to Anna’s. My boyfriend was just happy to go along as things were and after four years of dating and 1.5 of living together I thought it was time to move things to the next level. We started talking about getting engaged, but then BAM he started to freak out about committing to one person forever. We almost broke up over the issue, but luckily after recognizing that we were not communicating well and going to a few sessions of couples counseling (which I would highly recommend, it made us really see the other persons point of view and we both felt heard) we’re happily on the way towards engagement. He’s actually pushing the issue now saying things like …. I looked at rings today…We should get married in your parent’s backyard next Oct… etc. etc. (Which is a bit weird that he did such a 180 in 6 months but I know he’s sincere).

        I hope things worked out for you, Anna! If they didn’t know you have the support of the DW community! 🙂

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      • avatar

        Anna December 13, 2011, 9:00 pm

        Thanks! I love this community! Your story gives me hope that it really is possible for them to change 🙂

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      • avatar

        cporoski December 13, 2011, 4:26 pm

        I didn’t live with my husband before I got married and it was the right choice for me. There is no question, you find out odd things when you get married that you wouldn’t know otherwise so I can see where people would want to. I also will say that we went to Sandals for our honeymoon along with a ton of other couples and we were the only ones who didn’t live together and we didn’t seem any more or less happy.

        The hard thing is when it drags on and gets “embarassing” that they took so long. At two weddings we went to, every speech was “its about time!” that makes me feel bad for the girl.

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        atraditionalist December 13, 2011, 5:11 pm

        Exactly! I worry about the dragging on part too. I never want to be the girl that wanted to get engaged years before the guy did but waited around for him to be ready. I always feel embarassed for the girl that lives with a guy for years expecting marriage and gets nothing

        Moving in with a guy before engagement/marriage would make me worried that I would be in the position where he’s comfortable with me and living with me but not comfortable making a commitment to me (ie: you can be my girlfriend wife but not my wife-wife) – and I would have wasted a lot of time/money not to mention emotional stress for something that was never going to happen

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      • katie

        katie December 14, 2011, 3:29 am

        i have a question about the comforable thing- what is the difference between getting comfortable while living together and not being married, and getting comfortable living apart and not being married?

        i just see both situations as the same- one partner is hoping for more, while the other is comfortable. i guess i just dont see how living together would change that…

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      • avatar

        cporoski December 14, 2011, 7:26 am

        My philosophy is this and it is not popular. Men need to love you to propose and also need another reason. Most of the couples I know, it was two reasons. One is that they didn’t want to travel to the girl, and wanted a wife. The ones that lived together, the guy proposed because he was ready to have kids. Everyone that I know who lived together first, had kids right after the wedding.

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        cporoski December 14, 2011, 7:27 am

        so it tends to be much longer for the guy to want to be a dad

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        atraditionalist December 14, 2011, 9:45 am

        The difference is this: when you are already acting like a wife he sees no point in actually making you one – you’re giving someone everything for nothing – you’re not getting teh commitment you want but he is getting the life he wants without giving anything up. There is a difference between being married and just co-habitating – that’s why people tend to stall marriage or see it as a much bigger deal but moving in together seems like no problem. If he’s comfortable living apart from you then you at least have your own space when you guys break up and don’t have to look for a new place

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      • katie

        Katie December 14, 2011, 3:28 pm

        ok, i think i get what your saying…

        i guess i was thinking that in either scenario (living together vs. waiting to get married to live together), you are already doing “married” things, like sex, cooking dinners together, sharing finances (only a little if your not living together), ect…. so i am assuming you would not be ok with that kind of relationship either, then right? you wouldnt be having sex, sharing finances, things like that until marriage. right?

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        Anna December 14, 2011, 1:45 am

        Once upon a time, I believed the myth about seeing what it’s like to live together before making it official but my own experience has changed my mind. If this relationship ends and I have to start dating again *shudder* I definitely won’t make this mistake again. It makes for a breakup almost as messy as a divorce, just less expensive.

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    • avatar

      Anna December 13, 2011, 8:43 pm

      Oh wow I am missing my own party here! Damn my 3rd shift schedule that makes me sleep all day! Anyway, for the update…

      Nothing significant has happened thusfar. The boyfriend and his family haven’t been able to move yet because they haven’t been able to sell their house in Ohio. For anyone who hasn’t heard the whole story, they were supposed to move to NC in the fall because his dad got an awesome new job down there. I decided I’m not moving out of state for a boyfriend, especially after 8 yrs of status quo…that kind of life-altering decision can only be made for a fiance or husband. So for now they are still here at least through the holidays, possibly longer depending on when they sell the house.

      On the bright side though, things have been noticeably improving in my relationship. Instead of continuing to push the issue, I just made sure he was aware of my decision and stopped talking about it. At the same time, I ramped up my domestic goddess game when I am home (husband bait anyone?) and started being more independent. I started going out without him more often and even went on vacation by myself to St. Louis, MO to visit my best friend. He noticed. After a serious lack of romance for a couple years now, all of a sudden he’s sending me cute texts when I’m at work all night and changing his usual statement of “when I move” to “when WE move.” And he bought me snow tires for my car 🙂 We’ve even had exactly one conversation about how cool it would be to have a wedding at Bosco Beach (in NC). Surprisingly, that was a conversation he started. So, while I really try not to hope too much, it seems like he might be coming around. And Christmas is right around the corner…who knows what could happen? And even if he doesn’t, I needed to become more independent anyway so that was a good change to make.

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      • kare

        Kare December 14, 2011, 1:50 am

        This may have been discussed on the site or maybe I’m just missing something but why is your boyfriend moving? Even if his parents move, he doesn’t have to move.

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        Anna December 14, 2011, 5:18 am

        Of course he doesn’t have to move but he is very close to his family and doesn’t want to be far away from them. Also, he has no attachment to Ohio because he’s not even from here. He moved here from upstate NY 10 yrs ago the last time his dad changed jobs. I understand his reasons for wanting to leave this area because they are the same reasons I want to leave. We are both stuck in dead-end jobs we hate due to the crappy economy here (around 11% unemployment) and the weather sucks 75% of the time.

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        Jess December 14, 2011, 6:26 am

        you will just LOVE the north carolina weather (if you move there). I moved from Pittsburgh to NC and it was like… heaven. It’s really amazing. Its a sunny beautiful day EVERY SINGLE DAY. The cars all look brand new bc they don’t have any salt damage.

        Now I live in a cold/bad weather city again and I was so spoiled from NC- it would be nice outside and my boyfriend would be like “WE AHVE TO DO SOMETHING OUTSIDE! we have to take advantage of the weather!!!” and I was always like, so what? We’ll do that tomorrow. I learned my lesson!! We get like 6 nice weekends a year here 🙁

        anyway, love love LOVE north carolina!

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        Splash December 14, 2011, 8:35 am

        Anna, just sayin’ but my brother is in Cleveland just finishing up his latest Coast Guard tour. Good looking, tall, and totally in shape…and single. just sayin’ =)

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        Anna December 14, 2011, 12:01 pm

        lol. Is he into not-so-totally in shape women who like to smoke the gange? 😉

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        Splash December 14, 2011, 1:47 pm

        lol! Well he not so recently wasn’t in good shape, but then decided he wanted to get into shape…and through just watching what he ate and moderate exercise lost 30 lbs. He could get you in shape? 😉 you know…again, just sayin’

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        Amy December 14, 2011, 5:12 pm

        If Anna doesn’t want him – you should send him to Colorado.

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  • avatar

    Kristen December 13, 2011, 11:34 am

    Anna, I’m so glad you’re being featured! I love having another northeast Ohioan on this site 🙂

    I’m crossing my fingers so tightly that your boyfriend proposed.

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      ChemE December 13, 2011, 12:56 pm

      Second that from another fellow northeaster Ohioan!!

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        Kristen December 13, 2011, 9:49 pm

        Where in NEO are you from, Chem?

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      Anna December 13, 2011, 8:47 pm

      Well, no, that didn’t happen. But the move has been delayed by the lovely Ohio housing market. Apparently it’s very difficult to sell a $300k house in this area right now. A full update is above!

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        Kristen December 13, 2011, 9:52 pm

        The housing market here has been a blessing in disguise for me, too. My boyfriend’s family has been trying to sell their house, but I’m not ready to let it go.

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        Anna December 14, 2011, 1:31 am

        Same here! I go to his parents’ house to do my laundry and use their big screen TV and hot tub 🙂

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    amber December 13, 2011, 11:38 am

    Onions are also at the top of my dislikes. I have tried so hard to like them, tried different kinds, cooked, raw, etc and I just hate everything about them.

    Hope that whatever your update to your relationship status is, you’re doing ok!

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      Anna December 14, 2011, 1:33 am

      I will always be ok but so far no change in relationship status due to the crappy Ohio housing market…more details are elaborated below.

      As a fellow onion hater, do you completely avoid onion rings or just remove the onion part and eat the delicious fried coating? I like to remove the onion and just eat the fried part 🙂

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        Kristen December 14, 2011, 10:59 am

        See if you can explain this to me: My boyfriend hates onions because he thinks they’re slimy and gross. BUT the only kind he will eat is onion rings. Does that make any sense to you?? I think the onions inside onion rings are super slippery. But apparently having them coated in breading makes them okay (as long as they don’t slip out, then he won’t eat it).

        I always give him a hard time about making it hard for me to cook anything because so many recipes start out with, “saute onions in olive oil until translucent.” Oh, well. I just use more garlic instead!

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        amber December 14, 2011, 11:07 am

        he’s not a real onion hater if he can eat onion rings 😉

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        Anna December 14, 2011, 12:07 pm

        No, he’s not a true onion hater. I don’t mind a little onion flavoring in food but I can’t stand chunks of onion…the texture of it is just creepy to me. That’s why I can eat the fried coating off of onion rings but not the onion.

        I am lucky that my boyfriend will basically eat anything I put in front of him. And he’s lucky that I like cooking so much and I’m good at it.

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        amber December 14, 2011, 11:07 am

        i can’t even eat the fried part, it still smells and tastes like onion. the dip they usually serve with onion rings at restaurants however i LOVE 🙂

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  • landygirl

    Landygirl December 13, 2011, 11:42 am

    I’m ready for an update!

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      lk December 13, 2011, 12:08 pm

      me too – i’m viciously curious : )

      thanks for the 6) & 7) – i copy-pasted them into my relationship note archives

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      • landygirl

        Landygirl December 13, 2011, 12:24 pm

        You’re welcome though I’m not sure what 6 & 7 are!!

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      Anna December 13, 2011, 8:49 pm

      I haven’t had my morning coffee yet so I clicked a reply thing and put my update above…instead of putting it as the last comment which would make sense.

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  • FireStar

    FireStar December 13, 2011, 11:49 am

    My best friend teased me about being all or nothing but damn – engaged or broken up – that really is all or nothing! I hope you are happy, however it turned out. I wasn’t a fan of living together without at least an engagement either, given my personality. Circumstances had me quickly buying a house with my boyfriend though – but the night the deal closed he proposed in our new home…so I ended up buying property with a boyfriend but living with a fiance (for just over a month until we got married). My catholic mother didn’t lose too much sleep.
    Would love an update!

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      lets_be_honest December 13, 2011, 11:52 am

      Love your story.

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      • FireStar

        FireStar December 13, 2011, 12:10 pm

        🙂

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      Anna December 13, 2011, 9:02 pm

      Aw! I love your story! We actually were planning to buy a house together before the whole moving thing came up. A full update is above!

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest December 13, 2011, 1:07 pm

    Is it just me or do all the Reader of the Week columns turn into food debates…chick fil a anyone? You out there Addie?

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      AKchic December 13, 2011, 3:11 pm

      *giggle*

      It made me read up a bit on Chick Fil-A. I wouldn’t doubt there’s a fan club somewhere in Anchorage, just begging for someone to open a franchise here. Although, I doubt anyone with the money would pass their requirements!

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      Addie Pray December 14, 2011, 5:38 pm

      Whoa, here I am! I missed this. Mmmm, Chick-fil-A! … I said I’d hold off on commenting on Chick-fil-A for a whole week and I think it was a success. Chick-fil-A, Chick-fil-A, Chick-fil-A. (Just making up for lost time.)

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark December 15, 2011, 3:51 am

        I like Chick-fil-A’s product, but their politics are atrocious sadly. So as of late, I won’t go there. 🙁

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    *HmC* December 13, 2011, 3:27 pm

    I came back expecting to find a riveting debate about co-habitation (that I just wanted to read, not participate in, because I feel like that issue is so personal and I always come across sounding all judgy when I try to explain my position). Imagine my surprise to discover that the comments are dominated by discussion of onions! Lol.

    For the record, I love the flavor of onions, but I can see how their uncooked texture is bothersome in certain foods. 🙂

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      lets_be_honest December 13, 2011, 3:34 pm

      Even when discussing your love of onions, you manage to not be judgey. Adorable!

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        atraditionalist December 13, 2011, 5:13 pm

        haha I was expecting that too. I love onions though.

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      AKchic December 13, 2011, 5:24 pm

      cohabitation is a personal issue, and it’s social stigma is becoming less and less as people are allowing less of their lives to be ruled by the church (in my opinion).

      Onions on the other hand, it’s a love ’em or hate ’em relationship. I can’t eat them without throwing up. So, I can’t help but be biased.

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  • avatar

    cporoski December 13, 2011, 5:40 pm

    Anna: Why did you choose this picture? It is kind of a sexy look. just curious on why that one. I feel like in these introductions the pictures are very different and I wonder why this one. That should be another wendy question from now on.

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      Anna December 13, 2011, 8:24 pm

      To be honest, I picked this one because I took it when I just got home from the salon with my new highlights and thought my hair looked awesome. I don’t treat myself to a salon day very often due to finances but when I do it makes me very happy!

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      • avatar

        WatersEdge December 13, 2011, 8:50 pm

        Anna! Answer the question! Engaged? Broken up? Still waiting?

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        Anna December 13, 2011, 9:03 pm

        Still waiting. A full update is posted above. I haven’t had my morning coffee yet so I accidentally posted it as a reply to something else instead of a new comment!

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        cporoski December 14, 2011, 7:28 am

        Your hair does look really pretty 🙂

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        Anna December 15, 2011, 2:38 am

        Thanks! The highlights are grown out now and I am planning to dye my hair the same color red as the vampire Victoria in Twilight Eclipse.

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    vizslalvr December 13, 2011, 8:59 pm

    I live in University Heights. Hello fellow NE-Ohioan.

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      Anna December 13, 2011, 9:06 pm

      Wow another one! I really didn’t know we were so well represented on DW 🙂

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  • avatar

    Anna December 13, 2011, 9:04 pm

    I guess I should just c&p this down here so everyone can see the update….wow I need some caffeine.

    Oh wow I am missing my own party here! Damn my 3rd shift schedule that makes me sleep all day! Anyway, for the update…

    Nothing significant has happened thusfar. The boyfriend and his family haven’t been able to move yet because they haven’t been able to sell their house in Ohio. For anyone who hasn’t heard the whole story, they were supposed to move to NC in the fall because his dad got an awesome new job down there. I decided I’m not moving out of state for a boyfriend, especially after 8 yrs of status quo…that kind of life-altering decision can only be made for a fiance or husband. So for now they are still here at least through the holidays, possibly longer depending on when they sell the house.

    On the bright side though, things have been noticeably improving in my relationship. Instead of continuing to push the issue, I just made sure he was aware of my decision and stopped talking about it. At the same time, I ramped up my domestic goddess game when I am home (husband bait anyone?) and started being more independent. I started going out without him more often and even went on vacation by myself to St. Louis, MO to visit my best friend. He noticed. After a serious lack of romance for a couple years now, all of a sudden he’s sending me cute texts when I’m at work all night and changing his usual statement of “when I move” to “when WE move.” And he bought me snow tires for my car 🙂 We’ve even had exactly one conversation about how cool it would be to have a wedding at Bosco Beach (in NC). Surprisingly, that was a conversation he started. So, while I really try not to hope too much, it seems like he might be coming around. And Christmas is right around the corner…who knows what could happen? And even if he doesn’t, I needed to become more independent anyway so that was a good change to make.

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  • katie

    katie December 13, 2011, 9:12 pm

    i have to say i think its interesting that you think moving to NC is a life altering decision… but thats coming from a girl who lived in three states the first year of college- and two of them i had never been to before and knew no one. it was fun though! lol

    i am also anxiously awaiting the final decision in the move vs. not move story… every time you talk about it i get all excited that ill find out. and so far nothing! lol. i will share, that in my experience, when my boyfriend and I moved in together, the act of that “life altering decision” kind of thing- the new adventure-ness of it- really solidified that he would be the perfect guy to spend the rest of my life with. we went through a lot together our first year, it was all new experiences to both of us, and that helped my decision that i will marry him one day. he is even hinting that there is a ring under our tree this year…. oh god. lol. it still scares me though! i wish i was as confident as you are in knowing that you want a ring, and you want it now, damn it!!

    its good to hear that he sounds like he is coming around though!!

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      Anna December 13, 2011, 9:33 pm

      Well, I’m a girl who’s lived in exactly one state for 27 years! The other 49 are scary unknown territory to me…

      And you think you’re anxious? I’m the one living the anxiety attack! I will definitely email Wendy when something happens one way or the other and hope she is kind enough to update the community.

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      • avatar

        savannah December 13, 2011, 9:51 pm

        Moving for a relationship feels very different than moving for other reasons. As someone who has lived across the globe and back I’m pretty terrified/anxious/excited about moving just to the next state for my man.

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      • katie

        katie December 13, 2011, 9:53 pm

        haha… well if you do end up moving, just try not to think of it as scary- just think of it as new and exciting!

        and, anyway, NC is awesome! i was just there visiting friends in november, and its freaking beautiful, full of really, really nice people that have the cutest accents, its nice and warm, its near the beach, there is the most epic farmers market outside of raleigh and of course AMAZING BBQ!!

        ahhh i love the south.

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        Anna December 14, 2011, 1:39 am

        It does sound awesome. I’ve lived in Ohio my whole life and we don’t have the best weather here. Living in a warm place would be a dream come true for me! And I love farmers markets and BBQ 🙂 Another advantage is that Raleigh area is full of opportunities for a young professional such as myself. Since I graduated college, I haven’t been able to actually get a job in my field because they are so few and far between here in Ohio. There’s no such thing as entry level here. If I do end up moving south, I could make a lot more $$$ and find much more enjoyable work.

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        Zepp December 14, 2011, 6:36 am

        ahh this stuff is making me homesick! I am from Raleigh and currently living in Vienna Austria (weather equivalent of ohio). I have been SO homesick lately because the fall is so different here, and christmas coming up. Luckily i am flying to raleigh TOMORROW 🙂 🙂 🙂 can’t wait!

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