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Reader of the Week: Meet Lianne

There was such an overwhelming response when I asked readers to introduce themselves on a weekend open thread that I decided to give you all a weekly column to do just that. I’ve always said this site wouldn’t be what it is without the engagement and participation of its readers and this column is the place to learn more about who you are what makes you tick. After the jump, lets meet Lianne.

 

1. What’s your name, age and whereabouts?

Lianne Heywood (use “Lianne” on the site), age 32, living in Boston, MA.

2. What’s your relationship status?

Single.

3. How do you spend your weekdays?

Longing for the weekend. :) In all seriousness, I work for a financial services firm bringing retirement help to 401(k) plan participants across the US. I am a Communications Manager working with various HR teams at our clients’ companies.

4. How do you spend your free time?

Avid reader – currently reading my first Stephen King book, Hip Hop Yoga, volunteering at the Samaritans, karaoke enthusiast, cooking,and Sunday Fundays.

5. What are your top likes and dislikes?

Likes: Dirty Martinis, Bloody Marys, garlic, puns, alliteration, rhyming, and illicit activities.

Dislikes: nose whistling, long fingernails on men, Mondays.

6. What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever given?

A friend had been cheated on by his s/o. He was deciding whether or not to forgive and take s/o back. I said, if you do decide you want him back, you need to really forgive and put this behind you; forgiveness means really moving forward and no throwing it back in his face with every fight you have. Six years later, they’re married and stronger than ever.

7. What’s the best relationship lesson you’ve ever learned?

Intense chemistry doesn’t necessarily mean he’s “the one”

8. Besides DearWendy.com, what are some of your favorite websites?

The Frisky, PostSecret, The Misadventures of Lil’ Miss, Huffington Post, Realsimple.com

*If you’d like to be a Reader of the Week, shoot me an email at wendy@dearwendy.com with “Reader of the Week” in the subject line and I’ll send you some questions to answer.

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{ 49 comments… add one }

avatar AKchic December 20, 2011, 12:56 pm

Nice ta meetcha!

Lianne Lianne December 20, 2011, 1:12 pm

:)

bagge72 Bagge72 December 20, 2011, 1:18 pm

Awesome, nice to meet you! Glad there is another awesome person from the Boston Area on here. If you see a large handsome guy walking towards you in downtown crossing looking for a high five, do worry it will be me!

JK JK December 20, 2011, 1:24 pm

Nice to meet you Lianne.

Sorry to threadjack, I´m really upset. I just was told by a good friend (who I´ve mentioned here a few times, that she jumps from guy to guy, declaring that each one is ¨the one”) that she is actively looking to get pregnant by her latest, a guy she´s known for 3 months. Not only that, but he is on board, and 2 friends are encouraging her. The grand plan is to live in a garage at her parents house for a year while they are building a house on his mother´s property. And she does underpaid freelance work. I honestly can not believe how people can be so unconscious. That poor baby.

avatar ReginaRey December 20, 2011, 1:30 pm

Jesus. Honestly, as much as I’m sure it frustrates you, there’s not much you can do here. If she chooses to get pregnant, you can’t exactly stop it from happening. If you two are good friends, the best you can do is logically, calmly and diplomatically inform her of the difficulties that would lie ahead. Perhaps not TELLING her, but phrasing the issues in question format. “I care about your well-being a lot as your close friend, and I wonder…what is your backup plan if this relationship ends? How might you support yourself and your child?” etc, etc.

But ultimately, what she chooses to do isn’t really your business. I know that the welfare of our friends, and children they choose to create, feels like our responsibility when THEY’RE acting with next to no responsibility…but there’s only so much you can do. Be there for her, try to make known some of the issues that may arise, and consider breaking contact with her one day if you can’t handle hearing the drama anymore.

JK JK December 20, 2011, 1:36 pm

I did tell her what I thought, and that I would prefer not discuss the subject anymore. I did ask her to please get a full checkup and stop smoking and drinking first, but apparently they´re already ttc.

Thanks for the advice, I know this really isn´t the place, but I really am so upset by this. Just last week I was listening to her saying how she still isn´t over her ex-husband, and now this.

avatar ReginaRey December 20, 2011, 1:40 pm

I’m really sorry. I understand how frustrating it is to want to shake some common sense into people…but you’ve done what you can. Emphasize that you definitely don’t want to discuss it anymore, and try to cut down on communication if you want to. Trying to reason with the unreasonable will only drive you insane.

JK JK December 20, 2011, 1:45 pm

Thanks RR, I think your last sentence is going to be my new life motto. :)

avatar 6napkinburger December 20, 2011, 2:41 pm

what’s ttc?

JK JK December 20, 2011, 2:43 pm

Trying to conceive

avatar AKchic December 20, 2011, 3:10 pm

*headdesk*

Carlos Mencia is running through my head right now… “Dee dee dee”. ‘Nuff said on that one. All you can do is smile and nod and not engage in the conversation if this person insists on talking about it. Once this child is born (unless everyone is “lucky” and she can’t spawn) and there is obvious neglect, don’t hesitate to make an anonymous call. Until then, be nice, but distant.

Sometimes, people like this can’t be helped.

avatar amber December 20, 2011, 1:25 pm

Long fingernails on men freak me out too! Thankfully the one grooming habit my husband seems to really keep up with is trimming his nails. He has nail clippers everywhere!

Nice to meet you :)

JK JK December 20, 2011, 1:31 pm

ON 1st reading I got “he has nail clippings everywhere”. I was starting to freak out a little. :)

avatar amber December 20, 2011, 2:39 pm

that would be AWFUL! and creepy, haha.

avatar kali December 20, 2011, 1:33 pm

Nice to meet you! Love me some dirty martinis too!

avatar Addie Pray December 20, 2011, 2:38 pm

Nice to meet you! I hate long nails on men too. But you know what I hate more? Listening to my secretary cutting her nails at her desk – clip, clip, clip … [someone walks by and the clipping stops] … then clip, clip, clip….

Hey, I think we can be friends. Can we be friends? Yes? Good. See how easy that was.

avatar AKchic December 20, 2011, 3:12 pm

*shudder* Anyone who clips their nails at their desk. Of course, the ones who clip their TOENAILS at their desk is worse! *laugh* I bet we could all come up with some office “Don’ts” here from our own experiences.

avatar Addie Pray December 20, 2011, 3:24 pm

W E N D Y – Office don’ts sounds like an awesome topic to me! I’ll start with the don’t:

Do not: (1) make out with the hot IT guy who turns out to be engaged (oops); (2) clip your nails at your desk; (3) throw food away in your trash can after working late at night (ie, after the cleaning people have already emptied your trash); the next day your office will be really smelly; (4) leave empty bottles of wine in your office (oops); (5) let anyone see you take the last bit of coffee and not make a fresh pot (if they see you; you have to make more coffee, you see); (6) fail to befriend the IT support guys – it is adventageous to be on good terms with them (just don’t make out with them, geez); (7) … that’s all I got for now.

JK JK December 20, 2011, 3:59 pm

7) Don´t take fish to heat up in the communal kitchen (located in a hallway) at least once a week.

avatar Addie Pray December 20, 2011, 4:34 pm

ew, good one, JK.

Here are 3 more so we make it to 10 (I hate not having nice round numbers): Don’t: (8) eat chocolate near original legal documents (they will get messy and you will be forced to blame it on your secretary); (9) same as No. 8 but insert CHEETOS (orange fingers are dangerous – you must eat them with toothpicks); and (10) … we need a No. 10!

avatar *HmC* December 20, 2011, 4:40 pm

DON’T- discuss your flavor-of-the-month diet with any co-worker that isn’t rude enough to run away from you (seriously, what’s with everyone thinking that what they consume is interesting in any way to anyone, let alone co-workers?)

DON’T- gossip about associates hooking up with married partners, or gossip about anything really. It’s so tempting, but it’s actually pretty destructive.

and that reminds me…

DON’T- confide truly secret information to co-workers unless you truly know them well outside of work. Work is boring, and work gossip is super juicy and fun to spread. If you don’t want the whole office to know, you probably shouldn’t tell anyone.

avatar AKchic December 20, 2011, 4:32 pm

(8) Do not pretend to be “on a diet” and then walk to the communal bathroom with a whole candy bar and eat it in the bathroom and leave the wrapper in there. The rest of the office doesn’t want that image.
(9) Do not clip your TOENAILS at your desk.
(10) No cleaning out your ears with the work-truck keys. If you do, please make sure all ear wax is off of them prior to turning the keys BACK IN.
(11) When you just get hired on for a temporary mining job, do not go flirt with the assistant HR person who did your background check (who didn’t really want to hire you in the first place) and flirt with her and say “I’m gonna be making lots of money now, want to go get a drink with me before my flight”, especially when you were just told that if you showed up to your flight intoxicated, you won’t be allowed on the flight.
(12) When being told you failed your mandatory drug test, do not say it “was an accident”. You didn’t slip and fall on a line of coke and inhale in surprise.
(13) At holiday parties, during the “White Elephant Gift Exchange”, do not say that women “like vibrating things” when someone opens a neck massager. (my boss did this last year, and makes a habit of swallowing his foot up to the knee)
(14) Don’t complain about the free candy that you are eating. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it.

rainbow rainbow December 20, 2011, 7:40 pm

(15) Don’t ask the IT person to help you design a coat in the middle of a busy day because you like her clothes. Specially if you’re her superior. And half the servers have just crashed.
(I was the IT person. It was the most ridiculous day of my life)

avatar va-in-ny December 23, 2011, 9:49 am

I had someone clipping their nails behind me on an AIRPLANE once… come on, people…. blech!

Lianne Lianne December 20, 2011, 3:48 pm

Hahaha – that is nasty! Thankfully, I have some pretty conscientious office mates these days. And, yes, we can totally be friends!

ScrambledMegss ScrambledMegs December 20, 2011, 4:40 pm

Ugh my boss does this all the time. And doesn’t stop when someone comes by..

MaterialsGirl Elizabeth December 20, 2011, 4:57 pm

ditto that.. or make business calls while in the bathroom

avatar AKchic December 20, 2011, 5:45 pm

*laugh* That’s MY boss. A statewide conference call he took from his home (working from home that day), and he was in the bathroom on his cell phone. *sigh* Only my boss, y’know?

avatar rangerchic December 20, 2011, 2:50 pm

I’m an avid reader as well. I used to love Stephen King and then some of his books got kind of weird so I quit reading him for a while. Dean Koontz writes similar style but is better IMO.

Lianne Lianne December 20, 2011, 3:49 pm

I just finished the Night Circus – it’s a beautiful read. The language is so captivating – makes you feel like you’re there – highly recommend it!

avatar rangerchic December 20, 2011, 4:43 pm

I’ll have to check it out. Thanks!

avatar Anna December 20, 2011, 2:56 pm

Nice to meet you, Lianne! What in the heck is Hip Hop Yoga? It sounds kinda fun. I’ve taken Zumba classes and Cardio Hip Hop but never any kind of yoga.

Lianne Lianne December 20, 2011, 3:51 pm

I have to admit, when I wrote my survey, I had just taken my first class and vowed to go every week…haven’t been once since! Ah, such is the life of a busy Boston girl ;)

Basically though, they blast the music and you do a flow. The class I went to was dedicated to Michael Jackson and it was just so much fun. There is one on NYE day that is featuring all Madonna, and I am debating going to that one…

avatar CottonTheCuteDog December 20, 2011, 2:57 pm

You can’t say your reading your first Stephen King book without telling us which one. The BEST one I’ve read was Bag of Bones. You have to read that one!

Lianne Lianne December 20, 2011, 3:52 pm

It was Under the Dome; I have been told I really have to read The Stand. I also read the Kindle sample of his new one: November 22, 1963 and I was hooked. Currently I am reading the second Game of Thrones book – A Clash of Kings.

MissRemy Ally December 20, 2011, 7:09 pm

Under the Dome was fantastic!It was one of the first SK I read too, have been hooked ever since. You really should read The Stand, it’s massive so perhaps one to get on Kindle but so good. I’d also recommend reading his Dark Tower series, while it’s quite an investment time wise, it’s so well crafted and just an amazing read :)

avatar GingerLaine December 20, 2011, 4:22 pm

I read Bag of Bones too! LOVED IT. Did you watch the A&E Mini-Movie? Loved Part 1. Part 2… well… still worth watching, but I was hopeful that since it was A&E and SK, it would be amazing. You’d think I’d learned by now that in almost every case, the movie is not even 25% as good as the book! Except for with Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil. Movie & book = good. (Book still better, but you take what you can get. Ha!)

avatar rangerchic December 20, 2011, 4:45 pm

Bag of Bones was one of my favorites by SK as well. It’s been so long since I’ve read it I would like to read it again :)

Lianne Lianne December 20, 2011, 5:43 pm

I’ll def check it out!

mandalee mandalee December 20, 2011, 2:59 pm

Nice to meet you! Glad to see another Boston person on DearWendy! Your relationship advice was spot on. Glad to hear it worked out with your friend.

Lianne Lianne December 20, 2011, 3:54 pm

Thanks – and based on other reader of the week articles, I think the question was actually supposed to be, what’s the best advice you’ve ever BEEN given, but I read too fast for my own good (thanks for revising the question, Wendy!) :)

avatar *HmC* December 20, 2011, 4:34 pm

Nice to meet you Lianna! I am also an avid reader, and I’m kind of arbitrarily snobby about what I like (HATE DaVinci code and other cheap thrill type books, love Toni Morrison, classics like Dickens and Austen, and even old childhood favorites like Roald Dahl books and Anne of Green Gables… I know, random!) Have you read Girl With the Dragon Tattoo? Obviously it’s popular, and I’d like to read something that flows fairly easily, but do you (or anyone) know if it’s *too*… beach reading-esque? Does that even make sense to anyone?

avatar AKchic December 20, 2011, 4:49 pm

I can hear you on the Dan Brown stuff. Made me want to cry because he cheapened the whole Mary Magdalene mystery. Better author for that is Kathleen McGowan. Of course, once you get to book three (Poet Prince), you really want to smack her for her obvious smarm. The Expected One was good, The Book of Love was okay. Poet Prince was obvious shark jumping.

Try ‘Year Zero’. Not quite zombie book, not quite Jesus Christ reborn, but total “what if”/end of the world/human’s bring on a type of apocalypse because they’re morons who unlease ancient virus that mutates type-thing. Or, Justin Cronin’s The Passage. Long, but you can’t put it down. And be prepared to be pissy because a sequel is coming and he kind of leaves you hanging.

avatar rangerchic December 20, 2011, 4:50 pm

I don’t think ‘Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ is beach reading-esque at all. I found it a good book but took a while to get into, I’ve also read the second but not yet the third. I don’t know if I would even say it flows easily. I usually read books pretty fast but found I was rather slow with reading this one. Lots of detail and characters. Hope that helps a little :)

Lianne Lianne December 20, 2011, 5:08 pm

Loved the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series. It did take about 150 pages to get into the first one – but quite a good series. Lisbeth Salandar, the series’ heroine, is a definite favorite character of mine!

MissRemy Ally December 20, 2011, 7:18 pm

The Millennium books are hard going in some ways but very worth reading. I agree it was a little difficult to get into and much of the subject matter is quite dark yet it’s so compelling. I fell a little in love with Lisbeth and couldn’t put them down. Really very sad that he died, he was a brilliant writer and apparently had more books planned for the series :(

avatar Rhyanshae December 20, 2011, 11:43 pm

I actually like the cheap-thrill stuff for when I’m in the mood to read, but I don’t want to spend a lot of time getting deep into a story. When I tend to do that, I don’t stop reading until I’m finished, even if it means I only get 4 hrs sleep before work.

Outside of that, I love everyone you cited. One of my favorite writers is Virginia Woolf, though it always takes me a while to digest a reading of one of her works.

avatar Jay December 20, 2011, 9:22 pm

You are so pretty!! :D

avatar Rhyanshae December 20, 2011, 11:39 pm

YAY! Stephen King reading made you awesome (and the rest of the questions helped that along). I LOVED the Stand, but it took me a long time to get into the right type of mood to trudge through it. It’s a very big book. If you’re into a little fantasy, you might want to consider his Dark Tower series…Some of my favorite of King’s writing (and I LOVE his horror, mind you), came from reading that series. The Stand and Dark Tower tie into a lot of his other books, so it’s always fun to find that little nugget of reference to another work in there too!

And, I admit, long fingernails on guys bothers me too.

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