Shortcuts: “Am I Stupid for Being My Ex’s Secretary?”
It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
My ex-boyfriend broke up with me the first time in 2009 and this last time in 2012. Both times he immediately moved a new woman into his house. Each time he breaks up with me he calls me and ask me to apply for loan modifications, apply for jobs, write offer in compromise for him (just to name a few things). He said he asks me because he knows that I know how to do these things and that I am only one he trusts. I am confused because how can he be in a relationship with his live-in girlfriend and not trust her? He also can’t let her know that he communicates with me. He says that he wants to kick her out of his house. He took me to court and kicked me out in 2009. Am I being stupid doing all of these things for him? — Two Time Dumpee
My boyfriend and I started dating this past January and stayed together happily and nicely for a few months. But now it’s been one month and a few weeks and he hasn’t even called me or invited me to spend the night with him. If I call him, he’s very nice with me telling me, “My love, don’t worry I will invite you or I will come visit you one day.” But I haven’t heard from him! Please help me what must I do. — What Happened?
Your math is screwy. It’s only early April; if you started to date in January — even if it was the first day of the month — and you now haven’t heard from him in a month and a few weeks, that means you were only “happily and nicely together” for like six, maybe seven weeks. This fling is over. MOA.
My boyfriend is really sick. He forced me to give him my phone number and is now using it to talk to other men who know me and ask them to meet me and just let them wait there for hours. He told me I need to prove my love and give away the past, especially this phone number which is the one many men know. I didn’t expect he wanted to take my phone number to do all of this, so I am really disappointed. We broke up once before as he cheated on me and I did move on and dated someone else. I feel really angry now. Sometimes I just want to yell at his face that he is so sick. — So Angry It Hurts
Honestly, I can’t follow most of this letter — he forced you to give him your phone number? So he could track down men you know and then ask them to meet up with you? None of this makes any sense. But I was able to infer one thing from this hot mess and it is this: you need to MOA.
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