It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
A man I dated was living with his girlfriend of ten years when he started pursuing me. He knew that I was in a bad marriage at the time and he kept persisting we be together. His girlfriend moved out. He promised me happiness, love, security, etc. and I believed him. Out of the blue one day, he told me he met with his ex-girlfriend and still had feelings for her. She moved back in with him. That was a year and a half ago. He recently called me when he was away from home one night at 11:30, saying he “Just wanted to see how I was doing.” What does this mean? Could he possibly miss me and want me back? — Ex, Not His Ex
Chances of him missing you: highly likely (especially alone, late at night, away from home and his girlfriend).
Chances of him wanting you back: Eh.
Chances of him ever leaving his girlfriend and/or committing to you: Highly unlikely.
I have a friend who, no matter what I am eating, ALWAYS asks for a bite. Just yesterday she asked for one of my five mozzarella sticks, one of my animal crackers (which I tried to explain to her I was saving for later) and one of my garlic knots at dinner. At this point it’s just annoying that I cannot eat food around her without her taking (what is sometimes a large) part of it. We live in the same sorority house and she could walk ten steps into the kitchen and get one of whatever it is I’m eating for herself for free. I just don’t know how to say no in a nice way and I’m really sick of having to give up food when I’m hungry. Am I being ridiculous, should I just get over this or is there something I could do to solve this? — Sick of the Food Mooch
Oh, for God’s sake, just tell her to you’re hungry and she should go to the kitchen and get her own. OR, for God’s sake, if she’s around and you know she’s going to ask for whatever it is you’re eating because she always does, grab MORE before your sit down. Instead of five mozzarella sticks, grab seven. Or do what I do with my toddler and make her her own little snack pack before you sit down to enjoy your own.
I’ve had this friend, “Jake,” for four years. He’s an older man, and our mutual friends think he likes me, although I have always made it clear I am not interested in him like that. I went up to the city to visit another friend, “Kevin,” and had an extra day so I suggested to Jake that we go out to dinner. Well, Kevin (a potential boyfriend) said he could meet up with us after he got off work and would take me back to his place where I was staying. Jake then proceeded to ignore me the whole week after finding out, and I haven’t heard from him since. It’s been about 2 weeks which is really unusual. I am really irritated at this point (two weeks, so far). Do I even bother trying to mend it? Or do I just MOA? — Friend Zone
MOA. This guy isn’t interested in being your friend; he’s been holding out in hopes of dating you (or just sleeping with you). P.S. Same with Kevin.
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