It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
Yeah, he probably is embarrassed to call you his girlfriend because you share a home with another man whom you also have a baby with. If you already “do everything a boyfriend and girlfriend does,” then quit making an issue where there isn’t — because, honestly, is sounds like you already have your hands full sharing a home with a man you are no longer romantically involved with while dating someone else and, oh yeah, taking care of a 1-year-old. Slow down and enjoy the companionship you have with this man and quit trying to force an insta-family. Your relationship and his role in your daughter’s life will sort itself out eventually. What’s the rush?
From the forums:
I was supposed to help him in regards to the car yesterday morning. I called twice and never got a call back. I texted him last night and he finally responded that he had been sick in bed all day. I offered that if he needed anything to let me know and he just kept apologizing. He texted me this morning wishing me a good day. I asked him if he needed anything from me. No response. I said,”Maybe like some soup or something.” No response. I told him I was there for him if he wanted company this evening and that I didn’t mind driving. No response. I haven’t said anything more and don’t plan on offering anymore. I feel like my being too nice is pushing him away. Is there any damage control I can do now and what advice would you give to help get things back to where they were before all this? Thanks! — Texts-a-Lot
Jesus, quit loaning him money after only three weeks of dating and back the eff off. One single “Hope you feel better, let me know if you need anything” text is enough at this point in your very short relationship. The best damage control you can do now is NOT to text again. When/if he reaches out again, you can ask if he’s feeling better and he will likely tell you he is and you can say, “Glad to hear it.” THE END. And then give him some breathing room and a chance to pursue you a little bit. It sounds like you’re kind of suffocating the guy.
He says he doesn’t see you getting married. If what you want is marriage eventually, thank him for being honest and MOA, ’cause it ain’t gonna happen.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.