It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
Shortly after, I learned they were still sleeping together three weeks before we got together. He promised to cut ties, which I think he has, but every time he tells me something about their past relationship I feel so insecure. I mean, this girl is just the most carefree person ever. She had a threesome with him and went to a prestigious school, was always fun and exciting. I feel like I can never compare to what they had. I am a single parent.
I have talked with him about this and he says he is happy and loves me, but I can’t get over this. I don’t feel like myself anymore, I am sad and feel like I am no fun. This is the only thing we fight about, but it is becoming more frequent. Should I cut my ties and mend my heart or work through this with him and hope I can move past it? — Sick of Being the Consolation Prize
Word to the wise: never date someone who still has photos of him/herself on Facebook kissing someone else. LW, trust your gut on this and, if you feel like your boyfriend is still hung up on his ex, then he probably is and you should MOA. You’re a parent, so quit it with the drama and stick with relationships that don’t make you an insecure mess.
Oh, my Pete’s sake! Practice saying “no” in the mirror or to your pet or to the television or to a good friend if you have to. Then say “no” to your boyfriend’s mother the next time she pushes her old leftovers onto you — which, by the way, isn’t really my definition of “extremely generous,” but whatever — and, if she won’t let up, say, “I really appreciate you looking out for me, but I won’t be home to eat this and I’d rather it not go to waste.” And if she still won’t accept your refusal, take the damn leftovers and pitch them when you get home. As for the crap she finds in her attic or whatever, just take it and put it out on the curb the next day. This is what I do when I get hand-me-downs I have no use for. IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.