It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss bridezilla behavior, threesomes, and wedding planning.
If you don’t want to act like a bridezilla then it’s as easy as not acting like a bridezilla!!! But if you honestly, seriously think you won’t be able to stop yourself from being a self-indulgent, intolerable, Grade-A asshole while you plan your wedding, then enlist a trusted friend or family member — your maid-of-honor, perhaps — to give you a little heads up when you start venturing into bridezilla territory.
Oy vey — this seems like way more drama than it’s worth. Surely, there are other interesting parties you can pursue sexual open-relationships with that won’t cause so much friction, right? That’s what I’d do…
My boyfriend of three years recently proposed to me, and I immediately said yes. He’s been absolutely key in helping me transform myself from a neurotic, unhealthy person to a happy, centered and peaceful one, and we have the utmost love and respect for each other. My family is kind of ‘eh’ towards him, mostly because I’m very different in my idea of a relationships (I’m very low-key and would always rather have a good book gifted to me rather than a ring or necklace, my sisters are a lot more about the gifts) and because they’ve seen this change in my general outlook, and don’t like it because I no longer am immersed in petty family politics, though I do visit often.
I would like to have a small ceremony, but my family has such a bad taste in their mouths over him, that it would make both me and him feel very uncomfortable — especially because they tend to be a lot more under-handed about it, and not outright disapproving. So we’re considering having a courthouse wedding instead, which would undoubtedly make my family angry despite knowing that I do not like the whole wedding process to begin with. They don’t understand it is a spiritual thing between him and me; they want to be invited to the wedding, but they don’t like him, so it’s perplexing. Ultimately, I know it’s up to us, but I want to do it with as little backlash as possible from my family while making it a positive event for my fiancé and me. — New Bride
If you want to avoid planning a wedding and you truly feel having your family there would make uncomfortable anyway, have a small elopement maybe with a handful of close friends. This could be at a courthouse or even in a forest or park or something like that — let yourself go wild! Include your family in a celebration afterward when their negative energy can no longer affect the spiritual aspect of the occasion.
*If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to follow me on Twitter.