It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
Tell your boyfriend — he’s your partner of nine years (and possibly the father of your child/children?) and he should, at the very least, provide you some emotional support. But if he’s in a position to help you financially while you look for a new job, it would be a hell of a lot better if he did so willingly rather than you trying to steal money from him again. I’d also suggest you speak to a financial advisor as well as a career counselor or headhunter or someone who can help you find and keep a steady job.
I’m so sorry, but it sounds like you’re heading toward ending a second marriage for similar reasons. Had you never suspected your husband of this kind of behavior before you got married? Did his sex obsession only start once you tied the knot? Either way, I’d look into an annulment and, in the future, date someone (locally, not long distance) for at least a year before getting married (you don’t specify, but I have a feeling yours was a very fast courtship…).
How could he be stringing you along if he broke up with you? Clearly, he wants his freedom to do what he wants when he wants. If you think he won’t “mess with other women” the second he has a chance to, that’s on YOU not him. The only person stringing anyone along is you stringing yourself along by pretending you’re in a monogamous, committed relationship. You’re not. And if that’s what you want, tell the father of your children he doesn’t get to keep acting like you’re a couple unless he commits to you. If he won’t, you need to MOA (and also see a family lawyer about a custody arrangement and child support).
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.