It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss being ready or not for marriage, a long distance online boyfriend whose phone always goes to VM, and a woman catching her boyfriend “in the act.”
Marrying someone you aren’t ready to marry — for whatever reason — simply because you’re afraid you’ll lose him if you don’t is one of the worst reasons to get hitched (it’s right up there with moving in together so just you can save on rent). Wear a promise ring if that helps you feel more committed and wait until you’re actually ready for a husband to get married. If you lose your boyfriend because you aren’t there yet, then he wasn’t good husband material for you anyway.
I think he’s probably doing something on Saturday night that he doesn’t want a phone call to interrupt. What that something is, I have no clue — maybe he’s sleeping or maybe he’s at the movies or maybe he plays D & D with his buddies, or maybe he’s out on a date. I’d say that if you haven’t even met the guy in person yet, it’s really none of your business what he’s doing every Saturday night and you’re in no place to start making demands that he be available to talk on the phone all night long.
Why on earth do you need to ask him what he was doing? He probably was jerking off, but what difference does it make? If you’d rather he not do that while lying in bed next to you, then next time finish what you start and don’t give him a reason to take matters into his own hands, so to speak.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.