It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
My hubby’s friends are taking hubby out for dinner this Friday night. I’m sure their wives are going also. My hubby didn’t say I was invited and doesn’t want to ask if he could bring me. I’m embarrassed that he does not invite me or ask his friends if I can join him. Should I just accept it and not say anything? I’m hurt and offended, but it is his birthday dinner and his friends. (We usually go out to events with these friends, too). I guess hubby really couldn’t care less if I’m not invited. — No Invite from Hubby
A birthday isn’t carte blanche to be a dick, and not inviting your wife to your birthday dinner when your friends are inviting their wives is being a dick. But maybe the friends’ wives aren’t invited and this is just a guy dinner. Since Hubby can’t be bothered to ask his friends what the deal is, I suggest you call one of them up and ask. And if you can’t get a straight answer from any of the guys, try their wives. And if NO ONE will tell you whether this dinner is just guys or wives too, I’d take that as a sign that perhaps Hubby is a bigger dick than this one dinner slight might suggest.
I have been dating this guy for five months now, and the beginning was great. He chased me for three months before I finally agreed to go out with him. I slept with him on our second date, and thereafter the sex was great — he said I was the best he had ever had. Recently he has been cancelling our dates and has been avoiding my texts, and I don’t know what to do. At one time he said I was “it” for him and that he likes me a lot, but he hasn’t said anything like that in a while. I fell fast for him and am deeply in love. When he was still texting me, he was mean and cold — and yet he won’t break up with me. I appreciate any help that you can give. — Missing Him
He won’t break up with you because that actually takes some effort and thought. It’s much easier for a person with no conscience to simply cancel dates, stop answering messages, and stop showing up. In addition to ghosting you, he stopped saying that he likes you a lot and instead became cold and mean. Take a hint and MOA–and don’t waste another minute worrying about this jerk.
I dated my ex-boyfriend for 2-1/2 years. He went out of town with a friend and ended up in a relationship with another woman; they are now having a baby. The new girlfriend calls my phone to ask me why he keeps calling me and to let me know that, when he comes to the city, he only comes to visit me. My ex keeps calling me and telling me he loves me and he wants me to have a baby for him. He also told me he would move in with me. Why is he telling me all of this when he chose to leave me? Why does the new girlfriend keep calling me? She helped him cheat when he was with me, and, now that he is cheating on her, she wants me to feel sympathy (which I don’t). — No Sympathy From Me
You’re no better than she is if you’re sleeping with a man who’s in a relationship. Look at you two grown women fighting over a two-timing loser like your ex. Getting pregnant with his baby would be the worst thing you could do. The best thing would be to MOA and count your lucky stars you’re not the one who will be spending the next 18 years fighting him for child support and and begging him to spend some time with his kid.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.