It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
Sorry, you made your bed here. If you end your affair with your married boss/landlord before you line up a new job and a new place to live, there’s a good chance he’ll throw you under the bus by firing you and kicking you out. He’ll just tell his wife you came onto him and they can’t have someone like that living under their roof and working for them. Find a new job and a new place to live and get out. And next time, don’t screw a married man… even if you DON’T like his wife.
Good God, please do not bring a baby into this dysfunctional clusterfuck. Just, please, don’t.
continues his conversation with them and I feel invisible. Not once has he introduced me to these other women. They watch me and I watch them. I feel as if I am being mentally abused. Should I consider ending our relationship? We have been living together for 14 years. He will turn 60 soon. Is male menopause part of his problem? — Feeling Invisible
No. But have you considered that regular menopause could be part of yours? To feel mentally abused because your boyfriend isn’t introducing you to people is… well, it’s not healthy. Also, why wait for your boyfriend to introduce you to these women? You work with them, too. So go up to them and, “Hi, I’m Jane and I work in HR. I think you’ve met my boyfriend, Rick, who works in receivables, but you and I haven’t been formally introduced yet.” Do that a few times and I promise you won’t feel invisible any longer.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at email@example.com.