It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
Your boss pinched your partner’s ass and the only recourse she’s taking is to forbid him from touching your baby? Oh, and she gets moody and depressed when you mention him? Maybe that’s because she can’t believe what an asshole her partner is to act like SHE is the unreasonable one for not wanting her ass pinched by some sleazeball who thinks any woman’s body — or at least the partner of one of his subordinate’s — is his for the goosing.
Count your blessings that your partner isn’t insisting you quit your job (which you should do as soon as you find another, which should be priority number two right after your top priority of apologizing to your partner for being so insensitive).
He doesn’t want to be your friend. He wants to keep you on the back-burner in case he changes his mind somewhere down the line and decides to pursue you again. And if he ever does decide to pursue you again, the last thing he’ll want is for you to be privy to all the relationships that he’s had since you were last together. Honestly, you need to move on. Your relationship is long over, you don’t have a friendship, and you’re dating someone else now. What’s the point in keeping lines of communication open at this point?
You’re being silly if you trust your fiancé and have an otherwise stable and healthy relationship. If you don’t have those things, it’s understandable why you’d feel suspicious and hurt that he wouldn’t qualify your relationship when introducing you (especially to another woman). What is not understandable, though, is why you’d marry someone with whom you have an unstable and unhealthy relationship and whom you don’t trust. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate that plan…
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.