It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
This guy and I have been dating for seven months and he just told me he prefers women who have small waists, flat stomachs, and big butts. I’m tall and slender and I have a butt, but it’s not big and, while my stomach is flat, it isn’t a washboard. He told me he likes me a lot and wants to move forward with our relationship, but he prefers I wear a sexy gown to bed instead of my sexy boy shorts and a tee shirt. I really like him, but I’m thinking I need to dump him. I’m offended that he would tell me something like that. I’m an attractive woman and can have any man I want. I’ve had five children, and he’s the first guy I have dated since I got divorced. Do you think I’m being too sensitive? Should I listen to him and change my sleep wear? I don’t like being put in this situation, and I think I should just cut my losses. — Flat But Not Washboard Flat
You’re probably being a little oversensitive, but, since this is the first guy you’ve dated post-divorce and you’re an attractive mother of five who thinks she can have any man she wants, why commit to just one dude? I say play the field a little, wear what you want when you want, and, if someone says something that offends you, say something about it. If he continues offending you, MOA.
I started dating this guy a few months ago. My mom found him. He’s very kind and polite. His license was revoked due to a DWI, but he’s supposed to get it back anytime now, so I was able to accept that. He lost a good job and switched to the glorious industry of an Italian Restaurant out in Rural Country. I accept this as, once he drives, he will grow in his personal life. I am 4 1/2 years older. I have two small children. My issue is that he has a guy “FRIEND” whom he allows to come to my street, and they talk and I can’t meet them. It’s my house — he doesn’t live there. I have two small girls in my house and I’m a single woman living there alone, and he’s telling strangers where I live and won’t let me meet them! Why would he be protecting their privacy and not mine? I told him not to have that person on my street, yet they said I’m not seeing eye-to-eye! What in the world am I not seeing? Other than the man’s face who knows where I live? Am I wrong? I’m not caving in on this. He can meet the guy at his parents’ house or elsewhere. If I don’t want people at my house I don’t know, don’t I have that right? — It’s My House
I can barely follow your letter, but it sounds to me like your shady boyfriend is doing shady stuff with shady guys in front on your house. Why your house? Because he doesn’t want the shady people he’s meeting or the cops knowing where he lives and he doesn’t want his parents in his shady business. Cut your losses and MOA. You have two young daughters who don’t need to be subjected to all this shadiness.
I cheated on my boyfriend of two months with his best friend. The boyfriend, “Mark,” left me the next day. I still talked to his best friend, “Tate,” whom I cheated with, and we soon began dating. It’s been four months and, although I love him, I still have feelings for Mark and wish we could still be together. I wish I could explain that it was a rough time for me and I didn’t know what I was doing, but it’s too late now that he has moved on. Now I have both of them on my plate, so what should I do? — Full Plate
Actually, you do not have both of them on your plate. You have one on your plate. If that seems like too much to handle, then it’s probably a good time for you to clean your plate and focus on yourself for a while.
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