It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
Honestly, I think you should break up with him and let him get his exploring out of the way. He wouldn’t have told you after seven years together that he was bisexual if he wasn’t curious about what else is out there. If you can’t handle opening your relationship, which is totally understandable, you should end your relationship before growing resentment ends it for you. And by the way, his sexuality is almost beside the point (with the exception that there’s a possibility he may not be bisexual at all but, in fact, gay): What if he wanted to “explore” his heterosexuality with other women? If you wouldn’t open the relationship up for that, you shouldn’t be opening it for anything.
Someone’s sexuality generally doesn’t matter at all unless, of course, you have a romantic or sexual interest in him or her. It sounds like that could be the case for you, but the situation is complicated by the guy being your roommate. If you offend him or make things awkward by asking him, you still have to live with the guy. And if you “explore” with him and things don’t end well (like, if one of you develops feelings that the other doesn’t reciprocate), you still have to live with him. If you really want to explore your sexuality, do so with someone you don’t share a room with for the next nine months. Your roommate may not even be sure himself about his sexuality, so let him share with you what he wants when he wants, and don’t ask questions that will put him on the spot.
First of all, if you don’t like her doing something, you shouldn’t do it either. Making comments about other women for the sole purpose of making her feel bad or giving her a taste of her own behavior is passive-aggressive and a waste of time. You’ve told her how you feel and she’s laughed in your face. Maybe she doesn’t take you seriously because you’re participating in the behavior you say bothers you. See if she takes you more seriously if you actually stop and if you ask her to stop. If she doesn’t, then you need to decide if this is a deal-breaker and, if it is, MOA.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].