It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
I’m 21 years old and my boyfriend of a year is 24. My best friends in the whole world whom I’ve known since I was 14 are planning to travel to Vegas for spring break this year. I’ve never done anything for spring break and this is my senior year of college. But when I brought it up to my boyfriend, he said, “No.”
At the time, he planned a trip to Virginia for us two, and his father gave us his condo to stay in for four days. The night before we left for Virginia I brought Vegas up again and he’s said: “If you’re going to Vegas, tell me now because we’re not going to Virginia at all.” I told my friends I’m not going to Vegas, then went to Virginia with my boyfriend and we had so much fun. The day after we came home I kept thinking about Vegas and how my two best friends were going to go without me, so I decided to tell my boyfriend that I’m going and he completely flipped on me, calling me a lying, shady bitch.
He thinks I’m going to sleep with guys, and he says that him taking me to Virginia was a mistake and he regrets it and that I fucked him over and he could have used that money to go somewhere with his friends but he wasted it on me. I’ve been crying every day for weeks. Am I wrong for wanting to go to Vegas with my friends? — Vegas Bound
Your boyfriend is a manipulative, controlling douche bag and you need to dump him immediately and never, ever again date anyone who makes you think you have to ask his permission to spend time with your best friends. You also need to own up that you were manipulative, too, when you told your boyfriend you weren’t going to go to Vegas and then as soon as your trip to Virginia was over, you back-pedaled and said that, oh wait, yes you were. Douche move.
You don’t trust him, you have different core values, and your lives are moving in different directions. What do YOU think you should do? Sounds to me like this relationship has run it’s course and it’s time to MOA.
I don’t know, maybe he just wants his Enya CDs back from you.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.