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It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
My boyfriend is 34 years old and his mother goes in the bathroom when he is taking a shower and sniffs his boxer shorts and bed sheets. She tells him he’s only allowed out till 10:00 PM, runs me down behind my back, and told us to use protection so we don’t get pregnant. She said that, if I do I get pregnant, I have to get rid of it. She listens to us behind the bedroom door when we are sleeping. We can’t get our own place as don’t have the cash. I’m pregnant. My boyfriend has had enough, and it’s breaking my heart. Please help. — Pregnant and Over His Mom
Your boyfriend’s mother sounds like a creep, I’ll grant you that. But it seems like she’s probably right to worry about her son. If you’re 34 and can’t afford your own place, how are you going to afford to take care of a baby? And where do you live in all of this? Unless you have a home that is a healthier environment than the one your boyfriend lives in and you have the emotional and financial support of at least one sane and loving parent/friend/family member, I’d suggest you seriously consider not keeping this baby. Raising a kid in a home where Grandma sniffs boxer shorts and neither parent has money to move out sounds like a nightmare.
Last June I moved from my hometown in CT to Texas. I don’t have family here, but, after I got here, I started dating my cousin’s boyfriend and we have been together ever since. There used to be a group of people I would hang out with, but we sort of went our separate ways. My boyfriend still sees them when he goes to his sister’s house, and I am left here in my apartment alone with nothing to do. I really miss my family and decided that I want to go back home. I am having major anxiety here. I fear that my boyfriend will not want to come back to CT with me even though we both have all of our family there. I mentioned that, if I were to ever have kids, I would want to be with my family, and he said that, if he were the father, he would end up paying child support because he wouldn’t be moving with me. I fear that he will not want to come with me. My lease is up at the end of May and no progress has been made to look for a place here. Either way, I need to be with my family back home and not be alone here in a place with no one. Thank you for any advice! – Ready to Go
Um… your boyfriend told you he wouldn’t move with you, so you saying that you “fear he wouldn’t move” is like saying you fear there’s going to be a bill at the end of your meal when you go out to a restaurant. Quit living in denial and quit being so passive. If you aren’t happy in your life, freakin’ do something about it instead of sitting around your apartment feeling sorry for yourself. Seriously, this is an MOA situation in every sense.
I would like to know what you would do if your boyfriend told you that he was dating another girl and that he wanted to take a break with you and and that he doesn’t want to talk to you over the phone anymore, he only wants to Whatsapp you? I still love him. — LW3
I’d Move On Already.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.