It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
Take the damn money and get an abortion!!! He doesn’t need to know that’s what you’re doing. Ask a friend to go with you and then erase loser sugar daddy from your life and practice smarter choices moving forward. Do NOT let this guy talk you into keeping this baby. You’re 20 years old and pregnant by a married man who has zero intention of being a reliable co-parent. An abortion will be far cheaper than raising this child on your own. Also: MOA!
Tell him you appreciate the gift he gave you and you hope he appreciates the thought you put into the gift you selected for him, but in the future, if spending an equal amount on gifts is so important to him, you should stick to an agreed-upon price range that you’re comfortable spending on a gift (like $50-$75). Alternatively (or in addition to a gift), you could celebrate special occasions in less commercial ways, like making dinner together, going on a weekend getaway, and planning a nice date. But if your boyfriend’s truly keeping a tally on financial investments you’re making in the relationship, I’d consider that a red flag and discuss with him all the other ways you’re investing in the relationship that he should also consider.
Six months into your relationship the sex “died,” and yet you not only continued dating him another two and a half years, but you also MARRIED the guy??! And you want to know what your uncontrollable tears through your wedding ceremony meant? Um, how about that somewhere deep inside you know marrying this guy was a big mistake? I’m not sure how all the issues could be your fault, but I am sure that, if you think that’s true, you need to seek therapy immediately, and please consider annulling your marriage or getting a divorce. It’s clear that this is not a happy marriage.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.