It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
My husband and I have been together for ten years and this mutual guy friend has been around for the majority of that time. As I was showing him a picture on my phone recently, he by accident saw a revealing picture that I took for my husband. He told me I looked good because I’ve lost like 60 lbs. Later, he told me I looked hot in the photo and he had to go sit down after seeing it. He also said that, since I have his number, I could send him the photo (not happening). Do you think he thinks about that photo? Or thinks about my body? — Revealing Photo Fail
Uh, duh. I hope if you haven’t already, you’ll delete the revealing photo from your phone. I’d also suggest losing this guy’s number and explaining to your husband you are uncomfortable remaining friends with him since he has a clear lack of respect of personal boundaries. (For the record, the appropriate response to seeing a photo he should not have seen would be to never speak of it again, NOT to ask you to send more to his personal number).
I made my husband some cute, but not totally nude, pictures of myself for Valentine’s Day and put them in his truck — like one he sees on his viser when he pulls it down, one on his steering wheel, one for when he opens his glove compartment, one in his cup holder — along with cute “thinking of you and waiting for tonight” type notes. He got mad and called me selfish and conceited! Why would he do that? — Cute But Not Totally Nude
Maybe he wasn’t the only one to see these cute but not totally nude photos of you that you placed in easy-to-find spots in his truck. Maybe a friend (or two or three) saw them and teased him or made some other inappropriate remarks that bothered him. You probably won’t give him revealing photos again, but, if you do, keep ’em private and out of public view (I mean, a steering wheel, really??).
I’ve been dating this guy on and off since 2012. In 2015 we hooked up on New Year’s and we split ways after that. He ended up back in a relationship with another girl. #nohardfeelings. But now we’ve come in contact again and he tells me they have a baby on the way but don’t want to be together. They don’t talk unless it’s regarding the child. I have been pregnant by him before and had a miscarriage, and she’s been pregnant by him before and had a miscarriage and now she’s pregnant and keeping it. What should I do? — On and Off and On and Off
Start using some damn birth control. Multiple kinds of birth control. Or better yet, move on and leave this guy with all your drama and history in the past where he probably belongs. But, still use birth control. Lots of it.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.