It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
This guy and I have been dating for a year now and I still haven’t met his parents, which is it’s starting to affect our relationship. He mentioned to me that he’s still with his child’s mother and doesn’t want to lose both of us.
The question is must I stay or move on? — Not His Baby Mama
MOA!! He’s in a relationship with someone else — the mother of his child. He won’t introduce you to his family. Honey, you are the other woman and you’re not going to be more than that. Have some self-respect and MOA.
In January my boyfriend and I started having problems in our relationship. There was a lot of arguing and trying to work things out, but by Feburary it just was not working. He kept saying he wanted space, so I started getting a feeling that he was cheating on me. Come to find out he was, and he had been dating this girl since our issues starting arising. He has constantly been at her house and going on dates with her. I broke up with him and decided not to talk to him. Two weeks after the break up he started contacting me every day. I responded but never made the effort to contact him. He poured his feelings out about how he misses me, we should be friends, and he felt like in our relationship he was holding me back. He keeps claiming he wants me, yet he is still with that other girl. I refuse to have sex with him because it will only make things worse. I feel like a fool because whenever he needs me I am always there, but it just isn’t fair because he is still with that girl. But he keeps acting as if this girl does not matter. I’ve never experienced this before, and I do not know what to do. Can you please help me? — Missing Him
MOA. You know how he acts like the other girl doesn’t matter? That’s how he acts about you with her. And the truth is that neither of you matters anywhere near as much as he matters to himself. Plus, he cheated on you. Get a backbone and tell him to back off. He lost his chance with you.
My boyfriend and I broke up several months ago as a result of my uncle who does not want us to be together. Three weeks ago he sent a message to me telling me he missed me and that I have become more beautiful. Before then I had noticed he changed his Facebook status from “single” to “in a relationship,” and I decided to ask him if he was truly in a relationship. He said yes but that it wasn’t serious, and, therefore, he wants us to start from where we stopped. I agreed, and we started chatting online (but no phone calls) until five days ago when he stopped chatting with me. Meanwhile, he is always online and, whenever I send him a message, he will never reply. He doesn’t call but rather give excuses whenever I call him that he saw my messages but was too busy to respond. I am now confused as to whether he truly loved me or was just taking advantage of me. Should I leave him and move on? — Confused
MOA! He has a girlfriend AND he is ignoring you. That’s not love. Also, why do I have a sneaking suspicion you two have never actually met in person? Aim higher.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.