It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss herpes, youthful engagements, and time to MOA.
I was sleeping with an engaged man. BIG MISTAKE! It only happened twice before my mom’s voice in the back of my head said,”Hey, stupid!” But anyway, I still hung out with him. I decided to introduce him to a friend of mine and they hit it off. Now she knows he’s getting married, but I think they have slept together. But that’s not what concerns me. “To each their own,” right? But what does concern me is that my friend has herpes. I don’t think she told him or intends to. What should I do as they are both friends? — Caught in the Middle
Maybe, since you are a friend of this man, you should politely suggest he end his engagement since he’s having such obvious trouble committing. And then you should tell him that you’re concerned that he never asked whether you’d been tested for STDs (assuming that’s the case), and if he’s going to cheat on his fiancée, he should at least make sure the women he’s banging have been tested for STDs. And then he’ll probably ask whether YOU have an STD, to which you can say, “Well, I don’t, but I’m not the one you’re currently sleeping with, am I?”
I am 21-year-old female who is engaged. My parents are very old-fashioned when it comes to relationships, and as a result I haven’t seen my fiancé much in the year we’ve been engaged because my parents think it’s best to wait until we are married. Now, we make love once a month and I know that’s not healthy for a relationship. How do I step up and tell my parents that I really want to be with him so we can get to know each other? Should I talk to them with my fiancé? I want to do it in a respectful way where they will understand. — Once a Month is Not Enough
Oh, honey. It’s probably better to get to know a person BEFORE you agree to marry him. Why don’t you go back to just dating, put ideas of engagements on hold, and move out on your own and become independent from your parents before you start talking about marrying someone.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months. At first, our relationship was the best. We kept in touch constantly. Now it’s summer and it seems like I’m getting in his way. I’ve tried to talk with him about this, but all attempts at trying to fix things have failed. He is my best friend and my boyfriend. I love him and I don’t want to leave him, but I feel worthless when he won’t try to make things better. I feel so lost and confused, and I feel like I did something wrong. How do I fix things from here? Or am I just going
overboard? — Lonely in Alabama
If, after only two months, your relationship is already in the shitter and your boyfriend makes you feel worthless, it’s time to MOA. And, yes, you are going overboard — not by being upset that you have a boyfriend who makes you feel like crap, by insisting you love him and that he’s your best friend. Girl, it’s been two months. I have cheese in my fridge that’s been around longer than that.
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